


I See You Through The Shadows

by lizbianoddity



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Victorious (TV)
Genre: Adultery, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood, Blood Kink, Bottom Jade, Christmas Special, Crossover, Divorce, Drunkenness, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Marijuana, Mostly Follows Whedon Timeline, Murder, My First Fanfic, POV Jade West, Prostitution, SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAAAANGST, Slow Burn, There will be smut later on, Top Faith, Underage Drinking, also angst, i forgot the angst, will add more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:41:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 54,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23181901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizbianoddity/pseuds/lizbianoddity
Summary: After breaking up with Beck yet again, Jade craves a way to escape her life, maybe even herself. While driving through the night, she comes across a peculiar town she's never heard of before-- Sunnydale. Everything becomes more intense after a run-in with the local vampires. Jade's in over her head, but when she meets a compelling stranger, Sunnydale might be what she needs.
Relationships: Jade West/Faith Lehane
Comments: 63
Kudos: 63





	1. Let Me Buy You A Drink

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter does involve sexual pressuring. Viewer discretion advised

_Well, this is what an apocalypse is. Everything is dark. Everyone is screaming, or those still capable to breathe are. The air is more smoke than oxygen, which better hides the daily atrocities. The only light are the giant flames, engulfing what's rest of this dying world. And those who are brave enough to walk through are the ones who died before and lived to forewarn their massacre. They walk in packs, rapidly growing by the black day. It doesn’t matter what choice they have or what they believe. All they want is to feast. They find their next victim and gorge themselves on blood. Their whole mouths fill with the salty liquid, pouring down their chin in slow drops. They drink every ounce until they dried. All they do is suck the life out of everything they can grasp in their cold, undead—_

“Uh, Jade?” asked Cat. Jade looked up from her lunch tray.

“You’ve been staring at your taco salad for, like, fifteen minutes. Is everything okay?”

Jade buried her hands in her face. Is everything okay? How could the answer not be “no,” or “absolutely not,” or “Cat, why is _this_ the time you choose to be self-aware?”

“Hey Cat,” said Andre, “maybe you should lay off the questioning. Jade’s been through a lot this week, and we’re all here to support her, right? To show that we’re good friends and hopefully not be at the end of her scissors during a breakup tantrum.”

Jade gave a slight chuckle to Andre’s fear. The truth did have some humor to it. She looked over the faces of her lunch table. It was the usual Hollywood Arts gang of Cat, Andre, Robbie, and, unfortunately, Robbie’s ventriloquist puppet Rex. Usually she loved her high school, the one place where she could truly be herself. But now it was a second Hell. Even as they ate their lunch at their regular table, it was obvious that two vital members of the group were missing.

Those two happened to be Jade’s high school enemy, Tori, and Jade’s boyfriend, Beck. It was the toothpaste and orange juice of coupling.

Especially since it had been one week since Beck dumped her.

Especially when Tori and Beck became an item three days after.

Especially as they made out on the lunch table behind Jade.

She knew that her friends were distracting her from turning around, but it was futile.

"You don’t have to keep trying,” said Jade, disgruntled. “I can hear them.”

“Well…Look on the bright side!” Cat advised, “You won’t have to hear them much longer! That’s going to be you and Beck soon, and then the rest of us will be disgusted!”

“You really think so?” asked Jade.

“Of course!” replied Cat. “Isn’t that what always happens?”

“WHAT?” Jade screamed. The group winced, but the pairs of lips behind her ceased to stop.

“I mean…” spoke a very hesitant Andre, “you and Beck have gone through this before. You break up, you show off how better your life is, you realize how much you mean to each other, and then you get back together. Only difference is how long y’all stay apart.”

“Robbie’s taking bets” chimed in Rex.

“Rex!” cried Robbie, “Don’t lie and blame me for your gambling addiction!”

“See?” Andre gestured towards Robbie and Rex. “You and Beck aren’t the most dysfunctional couple at this school!”

Jade tried to smile, but her anger and bitterness pushed it down. Her worst nightmare had come true. Not only did Beck leave her, but he left her for _Tori_. Sure, several girls flirted with him right in front of Jade when they dated, and she hated how he never shut them down, never told them “Stop. I have an awesome girlfriend and you’re being disrespectful.” She knew people talked behind her back, wondering why would such a hunk like Beck date a freak like her?

The person who questioned their relationship the most was herself. Sure, she knew she was talented and had the looks of every dream goth girlfriend, but she also knew that’s where her positive traits ended. Beck used to say he loved her because “Easy is boring.” But there was always an end to how much “hard” someone can take.

And the “easy” ended up being Tori.

Every aspect of Tori was the opposite of Jade. Tori was accepted into Hollywood Arts after filling in one school performance for her older sister, while Jade had to go through a rigorous, cutthroat audition process. She works hard for three, strenuous years on her screenwriting and filmmaking to prove she had what it takes to make it in the industry. Tori sings one song and somehow becomes the lead in every school play and concert. Her “art” was mediocre karaoke. Jade always pushed boundaries, whether in her horror movies or in real-life. Many people label her a “hothead,” a “grunch,” or even a “gank,” but Jade understands they mean “someone who is right.” She always speaks the truth, no matter how bluntly or how much it hurts to hear. Whenever Tori tries to change things, it's always in the popular vote and for the long run. Jade never forgave Tori for canceling her play to throw a school dance.

 _Is this who Beck really wants?_ Jade thought. _Was I… too hard?_

“Jade?” Cat asked.

Jade once again came out from her thoughts, staring at her taco salad which was now cold. “Oh god,” she sighed depressingly, “everything is the worst.”

“Don’t worry,” said Cat. “We’re all here for you. You can talk to us about anything. We’re on your side.”

“Really?” asked Jade, “You’re all on my side? The person who made you crap your pants in fear for the past three years? Every single one of you is friends with Beck _and_ Tori, people who are actually nice, and you are all on my side?”

The table fell silent.

“Well, when you put like that…” said Robbie.

“Robbie!” exclaimed Andre. “Look, Jade, whether or not we’re friends with, uh, _them_ , we care about you. We just want everyone to be happy.”

“And I just want to be alive” said Robbie.

“Really?” asked Rex. “What life are you looking forward to? A low-payed janitor who lives in his dumpster, has no girlfriend and isn’t funny?”

“REX!” cried Robbie.

“God, just make this day be over” sighed Jade. Without any better judgement, she turned around to see Tori sitting on Beck’s lap with her tongue down his throat. Jade remembered how warm his lap felt. She turned back to face her table with a repulsed look on her face.

“Disgusting” she grumbled.

“Now you know how we felt” said Rex.

“Robbie, I will rip that puppet from your hand even if your wrist pops out of its joint!” Jade screamed.

“Dang, woman!” cried Rex.

“Actually, and I hate to say it, Rex does have a point” said Andre.

“You and Beck made out, like, all the time” added Cat.

“So? At least he wasn’t making out with _it_ ” said Jade. She sighed for a third time. “Honestly, it’s fine. Whatever. I don’t care.”

“Tell that to your spork” said Rex.

Jade looked down next to her bowl to see a plastic spork with its neck crumpled. She must have squeezed the life out of it during her rage thoughts.

“Why do we only use sporks?” asked Cat.

“Because even though this school will pay for anything to help their students, they give Festus a barely-minimum wage to keep his food truck running and skimp on actual silverware” answered Jade.

“No, like, why only sporks?” Cat asked again. “Why is it always just a fork and a spoon? Did someone forget we have _knives_? Why not a fork and a knife? Or a spoon and a knife? Oh! What about a fork, spoon, _and_ a knife altogether?”

“Wow, Cat,” said Jade, “I thought this was the lowest my day could be. Then you opened your mouth.”

With that, Jade left her table and her uneaten taco salad behind. All she had left to face were her afternoon classes—in which both Tori and Beck were in every single one.

It was years ago when Jade played softball. Her dad could never relate to her, but he could relate to sports. For most of her childhood, Jade would play on the diamond a half hour away from her house. She hated the sport, since she was always on left field and could never catch a fly ball. But she liked when her dad showed up to the games. It was the only time he cared. Then when her parents divorced and her dad moved in with the lifeguard at his country club, he never showed up to Jade’s games again. She didn’t know what to do with all that pent-up anger, so when the pitcher taunted her on her third strikeout, Jade pounded her face in with her bat. After her mother payed the girl’s medical bills in the hopes of not getting sued, Jade was disqualified from the team. Which was fine by her, and she stole one of the softballs just to be petty.

She threw the ball up and caught it while laying on her bed. It was a simple game. She got bonus points if she hit the ceiling.

After a long day of classes and watching Tori cuddle into Beck’s shoulder, Jade secluded herself in her room. When she got home, she gave her mom a rushed “Hi” in passing and locked her door. No way would she ever talk to her mother about what was happening. She did not want to hear her say “I told you so about your hair/your clothes/ your makeup/your piercings/your movies/your attitude/everything that makes you so off putting to boys.” Jade never appreciated her mother’s input regardless, but this was more of an inopportune time. Besides, she liked how off putting she was. The boys who really loved her would see past that.

And yet this didn’t feel right either. Jade hardly spent time in her room. She usually stayed in Beck’s RV. When Beck first told her how he moved out his parent’s house into the RV so he could live by his own rules, it made Jade swoon. He was a modern-day James Dean.

When Jade closed her eyes, she could vividly see herself kissing Beck in his RV. Sometimes, she’d make out with him with her eyes open. Not because she wasn’t into it, but because she wanted to look at the interior. She loved his neon lights and his pool table clock and how his green shag carpet felt between her toes. Whenever she wanted to, she would come by the RV and see Beck. She didn’t even need a reason. All they did was make out.

Then it wasn’t just making out. Beck would turn the heat up and they’d eventually take off their clothes except for their underwear. His chest felt so warm and smooth. She pressed her fingers in the divots between his ribs.

Then Beck wanted more. When they made out half-nude, he started to slip off his boxers. Jade would grab his hands from going past his stomach.

“Beck, no” she’d say. At first, Beck would say, “Okay,” and they’d continue with no further incident. Then Beck started to ask “Why?”

“I’m…not ready” she’d say. That was enough for Beck, so they kept making out. Then Beck asked, “When will you be ready?”

“I don’t know” she’d say. They resumed their kissing, but Beck wasn’t as passionate as he usually was.

The last night they spent together, it was the same pattern: making out with clothes, the RV gets hot, making out with just underwear on, Beck starts undressing more, Jade says no.

She prepared for another question, but was surprised when Beck said, “I love you.”

“I love you too” she answered back.

“Jade, my love for you is so big, I can’t hold it all in. I want to give my love to you, but I need you to let me.”

Jade was seventeen. She knew what issue Beck was dancing around. Or was it even an issue? Was she making it a bigger deal than it should be? Of course, she loved and trusted Beck! So why couldn’t she do this? What was stopping her?

She didn’t realize she was shaking, until Beck stopped and said, “Jade…”

“I have to go.” She leapt to her pile of discarded clothes and hurriedly re-dressed herself. There was a mixture of Beck saying, “Wait, Jade,” “We can talk about this,” “Come back,” and Jade replying “It’s fine, “I’ll text you when I get home,” “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As she drove home, Jade tried with every fiber in her being to push down her tears. She felt awful, disappointing her boyfriend. Then she felt scared, like he was going to leave her because she wasn’t good enough. Why did she have to let everybody down? Why was she always the bad guy? Even if she looked like a villain, she wasn’t dead inside.

 _Tomorrow_ , she thought, _tomorrow I’ll do it. Tomorrow I’ll say yes because I love him._

Tomorrow came, but instead of receiving Beck’s love, she received a break-up text.

Now it was Friday night, and Jade was wrapped up in her blood-red comforter, catching a worn softball in the air. She stared at her black Victorian wallpaper, her jars of various rotting body parts, and her collection of taxidermized butterflies. It was everything she loved.

She hated sitting in her room. She hated being in her house. Jade needed to go out. It didn’t matter where she went, all she needed to be was _out_.

Although it was important where she went. Every place she spent time in; her friends were there too. That also included Tori and Beck. Jade was too nervous to go anywhere in case she ran into the new couple.

So, she decided she would drive. Just drive. No matter where she ended up, she would be far away from Los Angeles as she could.

It was late enough at night that her mother’s sleeping pills kicked in, and she’d be dead to the world. Nonetheless, Jade sneaked quietly as she could out to the garage. With her keys in the ignition and the garage door open, Jade drove out to what the world had to offer.

Even though Beck hardly rode in her car, as he had his own, Jade nonetheless scrubbed it clean after their breakup. It still smelled faintly of cleaner.

Jade had been driving for about an hour, going by shadowy trees and rows of streetlights. All the sounds she heard were the _whoosh_ of passing cars and her “Best of Halestorm” mix. Lzzy Hale’s screech/growl was perfect for Jade’s mood. The pounding drums and heavy bass made her road trip a lot less boring.

As Jade drove on, the cars started dwindling and the light posts were exceedingly rare. What Jade forgot was that the last song on her mix was “A Familiar Taste of Poison.” A song about being in an unhealthy relationship, yet still wanting to stay. Though she never thought of her and Beck as “unhealthy,” the chorus of the song finally broke her damn and brought her to tears.

_I breathe you in again/_

_Just to feel you/_

_Underneath my skin/_

_Holding onto/_

_The sweet escape/_

_Is always laced with/_

_A familiar taste of poison/_

Her crying came to an abrupt halt when she heard a _clang_ under her tires. She immediately stopped and got out of the car, hoping she didn’t run over some sort of robot dog. It was California, anything weird could happen.

Jade soon found out she did not run over a robot dog, but instead a sign. Written in orange-yellow letters were the words _Welcome to Sunnydale_.

 _Sunnydale?_ she thought. _I’ve never heard of this place. Granted, L.A. is not the humblest when it comes to knowing the “other towns.” Weird that the sign is just lying here. Maybe they don’t want anybody to know that they exist._

It was the perfect place to stop.

Her car was going ten miles an hour, crawling through the town square so she wouldn’t hit anybody.

Which didn’t seem to matter since nobody was outside.

It was a Friday night, and Jade could not see a single person from her window. Nobody was crossing the streets, or in the stores shopping, or even kids playing on the playgrounds thanks to irresponsible parents. Where was everybody? Was this some strict curfew?

 _Maybe it’s a modern ghost town,_ Jade thought. _Pretty creepy, but_ way _better than those stupid school field trips I was forced to take._

Jade’s theories were debunked, however, when she drove up to a building full of loud music and teens her age walking in and out of the doors. The Bronze was the name of the establishment. Jade was never much of a club goer, but a lot was going wrong in her life, so did anything matter? She parked her car on the side of the road and headed inside.

Instantly, she was hit with the humid air dance floors are known for. The strobe lights were blaring, and she was elbow to elbow with complete strangers. Jade couldn’t help but notice the alternative live band playing and the outfits outdated by twenty years.

 _If I wanted to have a 90’s night, I could have just stayed home and watched Teen Nick,_ she thought.

Nonetheless, if Jade was in a club, she was going to drink. After waiting in the long, sweaty line, she made it to the front.

“What’ll it be?” shouted the bartender.

“Scotch on the rocks!” Jade shouted back.

He raised his eyebrow as to say _Seriously?_ It was the only drink Jade really knew. It was her father’s favorite.

“I.D?” he asked. Jade pulled out her fake from her boot, right next to her favorite pair of scissors. She looked the bartender straight in the eye to show how confident she was pretending to be of legal age.

The bartender raised his other eyebrow.

“You’re 34?” he asked.

Jade snatched the I.D. from his hands. It was the only time she trusted Sinjin with anything, yet she totally forgot that Hollywood Arts held him back for failing math. She then decided to sulk in one of the booths and watch everyone else have fun.

The clubber who really caught her eye was a woman grinding up on all the men near her. The way she moved was so carefree, like it wasn’t important if any of the guys left her. She just wanted to dance. Her outfit was alluring too, the black top and leather pants combo tightly hugging her best features. Jade thought that could be her in another life, if she liked clubbing.

She was then interrupted by a man blocking her view. Jade couldn’t see his face well, but she could definitely see his tacky orange Hawaiian shirt.

“Let me buy you a drink” he said coyly.

“Buy yourself a wardrobe first” Jade replied. She figured one creep hitting on her would be enough, so she left The Bronze through its side exit.

She entered an alleyway and fell back onto the building’s bricks. Jade was exhausted. Taking deep breathes in, she looked at her phone to see if anyone texted her. Sure enough, her friends sent several “Thinking of you” and “Hoping you’re doing well” messages. Jade certainly wouldn’t say she was doing “well.” She didn’t know if she was doing. Everything felt numb to her. She figured that she would stay outside for a minute to breathe in the night air and head back home.

But then the man in the Hawaiian shirt came outside with her.

“You should've taken my offer. I wouldn’t make this hurt.” he said. Jade could finally see his face in the moonlight, and she sure wished she hadn’t. Most of it scrunched up to the bridge of his nose. He wore yellow contact lenses and had mangled teeth.

Jade knew that this situation could have happened if she went out tonight, alone, and vulnerable. She slowly bent down to feel the inside of her boot and find her scissors. They were a Christmas gift from Cat, a prop from her favorite slasher movie. If she needed to go the full extreme and kill someone in self-defense, these were the scissors to do so.

“Dude, don’t do anything stupid” Jade said kneeling from the ground.

“You came into an alley by yourself” he pointed out. “Who’s the stupid one here?”

Suddenly, he lunged at her with his mouth wide open. With the quickest reflexes she had, Jade pulled out her scissors and stabbed the guy in the chest.

“See? You did something stupid and that’s—”

She had more to say but the man disintegrated.

Jade stood there in shock. Her mind stopped working. One second there was an assaulter about to attack her. The next there was a pile of ashes at her feet. _What the hell just happened?_ Jade thought.

Just then, the exit door opened with a slam and out came running the dancing chick Jade watched earlier.

“Okay dude, you better get ready ‘cause I’m sending you back…” the chick trailed off. She looked around, confused, until she faced Jade. “Where did he go?” she asked.

Jade couldn’t make her mouth work, so she nodded her head to the mound of dust.

“HOLY SHIT!” the woman shouted. “What the fuck happened?”

She then saw the glimmer of the silver scissors Jade held in her fist. At the same time, Jade looked at the woman and spotted a wooden stake in _her_ fist.

The other woman moved her stake like a pointer finger. “You did…?”

“Yeah.” Jade answered. “Was he…?”

“Yeah.” the woman repeated. They stood across from each other for a long time, wondering what each of them were.

“I’m…” the stranger broke the silence. “I’m Faith.”

“Jade.” She thought of shaking hands to ease the tension but remembered that she still held her scissors.

“Well, Jade,” said Faith, “let me buy you a drink. This is going to be one hell of an explanation.”


	2. Welcome To Sunnydale

It tasted like burnt gasoline. Jade, not caring if the woman she met a half hour ago found her disgusting, spit her drink back into her glass.

To her relief, Faith seemed to be charmed, chuckling at Jade’s misfortune. “I’m guessing this is the first time you had scotch?” she asked.

“Can’t tell you,” Jade replied. “I’m thinking the bartender mixed up my drink with his drug test.”

“That’d be an interesting phone call” Faith retorted.

Jade gave a small smile, her first one in days. Though she appreciated Faith’s light ribbing to calm her, she was still baffled about the inexplicable situation she accidentally became a part of.

“So, let me see if I understand this” Jade said.

“I’d be really impressed if you did in a short amount of time” replied Faith.

“This town…Sunnydale…has vampires. Who are really vampires that really exist.”

“Got the first part right. But it’s not just vampires,” Faith added. “We've got it all: demons, werewolves, snake monsters, fish monsters, giant spiders, soul suckers, organ harvesters, pretty much anything a bored Latin monk in whatever A.C. conjured up.” She paused to down a gulp from her beer bottle. “Vampires are like the cockroaches of the demon world, so that’s my specialty.”

“…Okay,” said Jade hesitantly. “And it’s your job… to kill everything.”

“Aaaaaand that’s the second part! Congrats! Let me reward you with a drink that you’ll actually like.” Faith got up from her seat and started heading over to the bar until Jade grabbed her arm.

“Wait! That can’t just be it! I stabbed a guy and he turned into confetti! How the hell do you explain that?”

“Easy. You slayed your first vampire. But you were lucky, so don’t start stalking the local cemetery ‘cause I might not be able to save you” Faith winked.

“CAN YOU SIT DOWN FOR ONE GODDAMN SECOND AND TAKE ME SERIOUSLY?”

Faith’s demeanor changed into a solemn one. She yanked her arm out of Jade’s grip and sat back down across the table. Jade groaned as she held her face in her hands.

“I’m sorry” she said, using a rare phrase. “It’s been a horrible week. My boyfriend dumped me for the worst person ever, and now I’m dealing with the existence of human bloodsuckers.”

Faith lightened up. “Been there” she said with another swig of beer. “My life motto, ‘til the day I die: All men are beasts. The guy I was seeing back in Boston dumped me the day before I got my powers. The slaying actually helped with a lot of anger issues.”

“Powers?” Jade asked.

“Yeah. It’s this whole prophecy shit. One chick has all the power it takes to defeat the evil of the world. When she dies, another chick gets her powers, and then on and on and on until the world ends or something.”

“And now you’re the slayer.”

Faith gave an overconfident shrug, as if to say _Yeah, I am the best_.

“I should be buying _you_ a drink,” Jade pointed out, “but the nerd who did my fake aged me to a midlife crisis.”

“I appreciate the thought.” Faith smiled. She was about to get up from her chair yet again, but instead turned to face Jade. “Why scotch?” she asked.

“It’s my dad’s favorite."

“Is your dad from _Mad Men_?”

“Well, my soon-to-be stepmom is his country club’s lifeguard, so he’s pretty damn close.”

Faith nodded in solace. “Be right back,” she said. “I have the perfect way to further discuss your daddy issues.” She left for the bar and came back five minutes later with twelve full shot glasses in her hands.

“Alabama Slammers!” Faith exclaimed. “The best therapy there is! I’ll be back with some chasers.”

Jade stared at the twelve glasses in front of her. Even though she had a fake I.D., she never drank much alcohol. All she had in her life was watered-down beer at boring house parties. Now twelve glasses of pink liquid surrounded her.

She thought about declining, since she knew her tolerance was pretty low. An arrest of drunk-driving back home would be the cherry on top of her shit sundae week.

But as Jade thought further, she wondered what she would be driving back to. Her mother would still be out cold from her pill. Her friends were probably asleep at this hour. Usually when Jade couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, she went to Beck’s. But she couldn’t do that anymore. Now Tori had that privilege.

Then Jade started thinking about Beck and Tori making out in his RV. She thought of Tori kissing him under the neon lights on his makeshift bed. She thought of Beck holding the small of Tori’s back when they kissed, like he used to do with her. She thought of how warm Tori will be from Beck’s chest.

Jade needed these thoughts out of her head fast, and the only solution was literally on the table. _Screw it_ , she thought as she chugged the first glass. It tasted strong but went down smooth. It was enough incentive to keep going. Jade chugged the last eleven glasses, one after the other. They hit her all at once, and she instantly felt woozy. She didn’t even notice Faith coming from behind with the chasers.

“Oh shit,” Faith exclaimed, “you’re definitely gonna regret that tomorrow.”

“Way ahead of you” Jade replied. “Now give me the chasers.”

After another round of Alabama Slammers and chasers, Jade was completely plastered. Any thought that came to mind spilled out of her mouth like the scotch she tried swallowing earlier. Faith, downing her third beer, had the time of her life watching Jade become a rambling mess.

“A-and another thing,” Jade blathered, “what’s with the 90’s night? The 90’s died, like, twenty years ago so it wasn’t that great. You know what I did in the 90’s? Be born. Where’s the _Jade Was Born_ night?”

“I think that’s called your birthday."

“You know what I mean! Is it because the 90’s died that y-you all love it so much? Because you’re a freak show town, home of the living dead?”

“Yeah, get used to it. The 90’s haven’t left Sunnydale yet. They’re pretty much isolated from everywhere else, so trends are, like, molasses slow. It’s basically a bad reboot of _The Twilight Zone_.”

“Jesus Christ.” Jade slumped back in her chair. “You know… what am I freaking out about? I love vampires! I had vampire dolls an-an-and toys when I was a kid! My whole film career is based on horror! I should just film you doing…whatever you do.”

“Saving the world."

“Correct. You know…maybe I should just join the vampires? I mean, they got it _made_. Always wear black, never go out into the sun…”

“Get shivved by me."

“You know…I could help you do your job. You,” Jade pointed at Faith, “are the vampire slayer. And I,” she pointed at herself, “can be the vampire whisperer. I’m basically a v-vampire already. Haven’t killed anyone, but I got the bloodlust.”

Faith groaned and slammed her elbow on the table. “Oh no. No no no no no no no no no. You cannot be a vampire sympathizer! That’s the lowest of the low. I’m glad that you dress with dignity and you’re not wearing a cape or plastic fangs, but still. I had hope for you, J.”

“What’s wrong with wanting to be a vampire?”

“Well A)” Faith held up her stake. “And B), that’s not you in vampire form. That’s the demon, which is what makes you _a demon_. Something I’m trained to kill. When a vampire snacks on you, that’s it. You’re gone forever.”

“Shit. That’s heavy.”

“Yeah. Buffy has this story of finding a whole club of vampire jerk-offs, even with her friend from her old high schoo—”

“Who’s Buffy?” Jade interrupted.

“She’s the other slayer."

Faith's answer didn’t seem to help Jade, as she looked even more confused. “Wait…I thought you said there was only one slayer at a t-time.” Then her eyes grew wide. “Is she a vampire too?”

Faith laughed. “No, she’s not. Buffy’s the previous slayer. She bit the bullet, came back to life, the powers didn’t know about her resurrection—”

“And now you’re here” Jade finished.

“No,” Faith corrected, “the powers went to another girl, then _she_ bit the bullet, and _now_ I’m here.”

“Wow. Sounds complicated.”

Faith chuckled. “Welcome to Sunnydale.” She held up her almost empty beer bottle to toast Jade’s completely empty twenty-fourth shot glass.

That was supposed to be the plan, but Jade’s glass slipped through her drunk fingers and landed on the table. Luckily, it didn’t break.

“And on that note,” Faith half-smiled, “we should get you home.”

“S’okay,” Jade slurred, “I got this.” She disproved her point by stumbling out of her chair.

Faith, with her slayer reflexes, caught Jade before she fell on the dirty club floor.

“You absolutely do not got this. Not a chance on this Hell Mouth am I letting you drive.”

“But I need to go to L.A! I need my _beeeeeeeeeeeed_!”

Faith sighed and looked down at the intoxicated Jade in her arms. They’ve only known each other for a couple of hours. Yet both could agree that they had an amazing night together, just from talking and drinking. Their conversation came with ease. After all, Jade managed to slay the first vampire she came across. There definitely was something special about her. It was all Faith needed to do what she did.

“Okay, give me your keys. You’re crashing at my place.”

After ten minutes of driving from The Bronze, Faith fiddling with Jade’s “Best of Halestorm” mix, and both rocking out to the bangers, they arrived at Faith’s motel room. She managed to walk Jade to the doorframe and left her to set up the pullout couch.

“Buffy’s probably taking the heavy load of vampires tonight,” said Faith over the creaking springs, “so I can stay here with you.”

She looked over at Jade and did a double take when she found her crying.

“Damn it!” Faith groaned. “I was hoping for the ‘emotional drunk’ to come after I went to bed!”

Tears streamed down Jade’s cheeks. Faith’s room was simple: a bed, a TV, a couch, and a separate bathroom. Loose clothing had been tossed everywhere, and a small electric fan lazily moved back and forth.

It was too much for Jade to handle.

“THIS-THIS-THIS IS JUST LIKE MY BOYFRIEND’S ROOM!”

Faith looked at Jade with concern. She then surveyed her makeshift apartment and all its messiness.

“You really don’t have a lot of good men in your life, do you?” 

Jade sniffled in response.

“Okay, come here” said Faith as she went back to the door for Jade. She leaned on her body for support, and Faith started walking her down to her guest couch mattress. But then Jade started to cry again.

“BECK SLEEPS ON THAT!” 

Having no more patience, Faith threw Jade onto her own bed, face down. Jade slowly army crawled up to the pillows, slid her boots off her feet, and wriggled herself inside the sheets.

“Fine. _I’ll_ take the couch” Faith huffed. She quickly changed into a baggy wife beater and boxer shorts she found on her floor, not caring if Jade saw her nude.

Jade stared at the stained ceiling, digesting her day. She had no idea this is where she would end up—drunk, and in a stranger’s bed. Typically, a rebound involved sex, but Jade figured killing a vampire would be an exception.

Faith lightly kicked the side of the mattress to get Jade’s attention. “You good?” she asked.

Jade didn’t answer.

“Do you need me to tuck you in?” Faith teased.

Jade pulled the covers over her head.

“No” she said, her voice muffled.

Faith couldn’t help but chuckle. “Here.” She placed a Styrofoam cup of water on the nightstand.

Jade threw off the covers to inspect the cup. “Ugh,” she groaned. “California tap water.”

“Drink. It.” Faith said in a terse voice. “You’re lucky I’m in a good mood tonight. I’m not dealing with your hangover tomorrow. You clean up your own barf.”

Jade hesitantly sipped. “Am I going to turn into some sort of evil water blob from drinking this?” 

“If you do, we’ll deal with it in the morning.” Faith managed to get herself comfortable on the pull-out couch before turning off the light switch.

In the darkness, Jade turned to face Faith.

“Why are you here?”

“In my apartment?”

“In Sunnydale.”

“We’re under a Hell Mouth. The epicenter of all badness. I like my demon ass-kicking fresh.”

“But weren’t there demons in Houston?”

“Boston, and yeah, but not as many. The closest you got to ancient satanic evil were, like, the super old nuns.”

“There's already a slayer here. Why not stay in Boston and slay the demons there?”

A long silence hung over the black room.

“Did something happen?” Jade asked.

Another long silence. Faith sighed heavily through her nose.

“Boston,” she finally spoke, “was as good as the week you’re having right now.”

“Oh” Jade thought for a minute. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. The past is the past. I’m here now, and I got to meet you, so that’s something.”

“It’s definitely something.”

Faith snickered.

“Thank you,” said Jade, “For letting me stay here.”

“No problem. It’s five-by-five. We can talk about everything in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. Night, J.”

“Night.”

Though they couldn’t see it themselves, both fell asleep with smiles on their faces.


	3. Because I'm Fucking Good At My Job

_…head…pounding…light…too bright…where…am I?_

Jade squirmed around, not opening her eyes to the harsh daylight. Everything about the pillows, the sheets, and the firmness of the mattress felt unfamiliar.

_What happened? Am I not home?_

She tried mentally retracing her steps from last night. She remembered being so miserable that she drove off to god-knows-where, running over an already run-over sign, trying to buy a drink from that clu—

_Oh. Oh shit._

The more crucial details came flooding back to her. The vampires, the drinking, Faith, the warmth of Faith’s body, leaning her head on the almost perfect-fitting dent between Faith’s shoulder and neck, Faith’s hot breath on her face, the way Faith’s chest—

 _And now it’s time to shut up_ that _line of thinking_.

Jade spent the next two minutes trying to sit up in Faith’s motel bed. Her body felt lifeless, as if a very real vampire sucked all her blood while she slept. She finally managed to sit up, only to fall over her legs and lay face down on the blanket. As she moved her hand around, a futile attempt to pull the covers off without any actual effort, it landed on a cool object. She brought it towards her to see it was a plastic bag full of ice cubes.

Jade slapped the bag on her forehead and fell back onto the pillows the same time Faith exited her bathroom, fully dressed in a tight red tank top and black jeans.

“Hey” she said.

“ _Hruh_ ” Jade tried saying back.

Faith chuckled. “Glad to see you’re doing well.”

Jade attempted to give her the evil eye, but immediately shielded herself from the bright sunlight. Faith then ran over to the windows to close the blinds.

“Thanks."

“No prob." Faith walked over to the bed and started massaging the ice bag into Jade’s head. “I had to get this from the ice machine out back. Ol’ Bastard Antonio sits out there on the patio in his underwear and jokes about his ‘genuine Italian sausage,’ so you better be grateful for the real sacrifices I make.”

Jade tried to follow along to Faith’s words, but all she could focus on were the cold ridges of the ice cubes kneading her head. She almost let out a small moan of relaxation but held it in so it wouldn’t be mistaken as a sound of arousal.

Faith sat down next to her on the bed.

“How you feel?” 

“Like death."

Faith grinned. “Twenty-four Alabama Slammers will do that to ya.”

“Don’t even mention that poison,” Jade complained. “I am never drinking alcohol again. Not even going to touch a maraschino cherry, because—”

“Alcohol in the syrup.”

Jade snapped and pointed at Faith in agreement.

“You say that now, but I guarantee in two weeks we’ll be back at The Bronze and you’ll be chugging down a Vodka Coke while I cheer you on.”

“Some protector of the people.”

“Hell yeah I am” Faith exclaimed as she flung her body back onto the bed, stretching herself out.

“I think I might actually be dead” Jade groaned.

Faith rolled over on her side to face Jade. “Really?”

“Yeah. There’s definitely a 50/50 chance, considering this bizzaro town.”

“You look fine to me.”

“How would you know?”

“Slayer intuition.”

“You were asleep too. How would you have known if a vampire came in here and slurped the life out of me?”

“Vamps can’t come in unless you let them. I thought you’d know that, since you dress like you do.”

“Prove it.”

“What?”

“Prove that I’m not a vampire.”

“I just said—”

“Just…show me.”

Faith sighed. She sat herself up off the bed. “Okay.”

She knelt by Jade’s face. Jade stared at her curiously as Faith removed the ice bag and delicately pushed back a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

“Stretch your head to the side,” Faith commanded. Jade sat up and followed her instructions. She was met with Faith’s fingernails lightly stroking down her neck.

Jade hissed in her breath from the unexpected scratching. Then her neck started to feel something else.

It was as if Faith’s hands were burning her. Each one of her painted-black fingernails felt like a matchstick about to set Jade’s skin ablaze. But no matter how scorching the feeling was, Jade wanted more. She forced herself not to gulp from the tension. As Faith’s fingers walked down her neck, Jade’s mind was going berserk.

 _What is_ HAPPENING _right now_? she screamed internally.

“No puncture wounds” Faith remarked, her voice snapping Jade out of her head. Faith’s fingers left her skin, and Jade let go of the breath she didn’t know she held. She rubbed her neck, which felt numb after Faith’s touch. Jade then noticed Faith walking back to the windows.

“What are you do—”

Jade was interrupted by the sound of the re-opened blinds and the glaring daylight.

“Jesus Christ!” she screamed, covering her face with her forearms.

“And you didn’t melt from the sun! See? You’re still human!”

“I regret this conversation.”

“I don’t know. I had fun.” Faith again shut the blinds.

Jade managed to give Faith the evil eye as she reached for her phone.

 _Norma Bates: 11 missed calls_ her home screen read.

“Shit!” Jade cried. Faith looked over with concern.

“My mom” she explained. Jade redialed the number and waited for her mother’s berating. Ms. West picked up after the first ring.

“Jade! Where the heck are you?” she asked.

“Mom, I’m sorry for not calling sooner.”

“You should be! I’ve been worried sick about you!”

“Again, I said I was sorry. I…” Jade couldn’t say she was in a town several miles from Los Angeles which also happened to be a hotbed for the paranormal. She tried to think of an excuse her mother would buy.

“I’m at Cat’s place” she settled.

“Cat’s?”

“Yeah, she texted me in the middle of the night to help her…sedate her brother.”

Faith, listening to the one-sided conversation, mouthed “what,” but Jade dismissed it.

“Her brother?”

“Yes, mom. Apparently, he was rubbing himself in butter and shoving butter sticks up in his… _places_ …and Cat needed me to hold him down.”

“Oh, my goodness!”

“Yeah, it didn’t work great because he kept slipping out of our grips, but Cat’s dad managed to get him, and now he’s calmed down. She let me sleep over because it was so exhausting.”

“Well…okay then. I’m glad you’re safe. Do you know when you’ll be coming home?”

“Actually, Cat and I have this huge group project that we’re working on today, and I might have to stay overnight to finish it.”

“Alright, honey. Just fill me in later that you’re not dead.”

Jade looked around the room, remembering where she was. “Easier said than done, mom.”

“What?”

“I got to go. Talk to you soon. Bye.” She hung up without any further questioning.

Faith stared at her, both confused and disturbed.

“Well there goes my plans to eat breakfast today” she remarked.

“Sorry you had to hear that. My friend’s brother is barely classified as human.” Jade then perked up. “Do you think he might be a demon? That would explain so much!”

Faith laughed. “Sounds like he hasn’t murdered his family, so he’s clean.”

Jade shrugged. She finally found some energy to stand up and walk to the bathroom. She splashed her face with cool water and stared at yesterday’s clothes in the mirror.

 _I’m such a mess_ she thought. When she exited the bathroom, she found Faith packing a backpack full of weapons—wooden stakes, sharp knives, brass knuckles, and several crosses.

“You okay to drive home?” Faith asked.

Jade looked perplexed. “Actually…I thought I could spend the day with you.”

Faith sighed pitifully. “Not the best plan. My days are the least interesting thing about me. Right now, I’m supposed to meet Buffy at the Sunnydale High library.”

“Why the library?”

“That’s where her watcher works—her slayer mentor. We basically train all morning, grab a bite, then train some more until it gets dark. I missed out helping Buffy last night due to,” Faith tilted her head towards Jade, “ _obligations_ , so I’m patrolling the cemeteries with her to crucify some cadavers. I highly recommend you not tagging along.”

Jade guffawed, looking down at her phone. “Why do you need to train so much?”

Faith reached over and grabbed Jade’s shirt. She pulled her over until their faces were inches apart. Jade was staring dead into Faith’s eyes. Her breath was still as hot as last night.

“Because,” Faith growled, “I’m fucking good at my job.”

Jade could feel her face blushing. She looked down at Faith’s arm to avoid her noticing. Her bicep flexed like an Adonis, showing off her barbed wire tattoo.

As soon as Faith grabbed Jade, she let her go just as quickly.

“Besides,” Faith continued, “from what I heard last night, you have a lot of issues to sort out back home.”

“But that’s why I want to stay here!” Jade whined. “I don’t want to deal with my problems yet! I want to push them down and ignore them as much as possible!”

“Trust me, J, deal with them sooner than later. They bite you in the ass when you least expect it.”

“But—”

“Jade.” Faith tossed Jade’s leather jacket to her. “Go home. Sort your shit out.”

“And…when you do,” Faith added, “come back here. You’re the best person I’ve met in months, and we still have a lot more to learn about each other. Believe me,” she leaned in, “you’ll definitely want to hear my alligator wrestling story.”

Her wink after the last sentence made Jade blush even harder. Usually in a situation like this, Jade would intimidate the other person into getting what she wanted. But standing vulnerable in front of Faith, who was basically a superhero, she knew she had no chance. She grabbed her car keys and headed out of Faith’s motel room.

“See you soon, J."

“You too…F."

Faith smiled and closed the door.

Several hours later, after explaining to her mother both she and Cat decided it’d be easier to work on their “huge group project” online, Jade sat on the edge of her bed, staring out at nothing.

How could she feel both numb and tense at the same time?

There was so much to process after last night, mostly:

  1. The actual existence of vampires and other demons, and
  2. The first reason was the last reason she was freaking out.



It didn’t make sense. Not only did a complete stranger let Jade sleep at their place without taking advantage of her, but they were also a woman who made her feel like a puddle of sweat.

Jade kept stroking the side of her neck like Faith did before. Her fingers felt like ghosts compared to the memory of Faith’s sinful touch. She had to find the reason of why Faith affected her the way she did.

 _Why did I have to take something so simple and make it so complicated_? Jade thought.

As she kept scratching her skin, she tried to remember when somebody else touched her there. Then she remembered the countless times she and Beck made out when they were still together. Sometimes Beck would nibble on the side of her neck when they got hot and heavy.

_Okay, this makes sense. I’m just sensitive there. It’s just a matter of biology._

_But what about when she grabbed me? And her wink? Why did I blush so hard?_

Jade knew she had to stop herself. She couldn’t think any further on that subject. She had to deal with a lot this week, she couldn’t make herself even more stressed.

So, she decided to focus on the more important matter—the reality of vampires. She opened her laptop and video called Cat.

“Hi hi!” Cat greeted.

“Hey Cat.”

“What’s up?”

“Cat, do you believe that some things sound so crazy they couldn’t possibly exist, but they actually do?”

“Like Santa Claus?”

“Sure.”

“Because I don’t believe in Santa Claus.”

“Cat, I didn’t ask—”

“My brother would stay up Christmas Eve and boil water in our fireplace so he could eat Santa, but I still got presents—”

“Cat, do you believe that vampires exist?”

“…What?”

“Vampires. Or any monster.”

“Jade, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Vampires, Cat! They’re real!”

“…Okay, Jade, even I’m not that stupid.”

“It’s true! They live in this town called Sunnydale, but I think they live everywhere…oh crap, maybe there are some in L.A.!”

“Jade, are you tricking me again?”

“No, I’m not tricking you!”

“Yes, you are! You’re going to have an actor dressed as a vampire chase me for one of your movies like you did last time!”

“Cat, I told you that was for realism. Mutant octopuses aren’t even possible! But vampires _do_ exist! I killed one last night!”

“Hold on.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m skyping Robbie. He’s smart, so he can tell me if you’re lying.”

“Cat, don’t—”

It was too late, as Robbie and Rex popped up on her screen.

“Good evening ladies” purred Rex.

“And a big fuck you to you, Rex!” screamed Jade.

All three gasped and Cat covered her ears.

“Cat, what did you call us into?” asked Robbie.

“Robbie, do you think vampires exist?” answered Cat with another question.

“ _Pssh_! Of course not!” Robbie exclaimed.

“Jade thinks so” said Cat.

“BECAUSE THEY DO!” 

“Uh oh, Jade’s gone insane” said Rex.

“REX I WILL FUCKING CURB STOMP YOU!” 

“Stop the violence!” Cat cried.

“Okay, okay. Calm down everyone” Robbie consulted. “Jade, why do think that vampires exist?”

“Because I killed one last night!”

“Jesus” exclaimed Rex.

“Alrighty then,” Robbie said cautiously, “Do you have any proof?”

“How could I have proof? He turned to dust!”

“So how can we believe you?” asked Cat.

“Because…you just have to, okay? They’re real, and there might be some in L.A. I don’t want any of you getting hurt. Except Rex, I can take or leave him.”

“Hey!” said Robbie and Rex, both offended.

“Jade, maybe you’re just seeing things.” Cat offered. “I see things all the time.”

“ _Mmmhmmm_ , like an octopus with human legs?” teased Rex.

“What’s that supposed to mean!” cried Cat.

“Cat, why do you think I’m seeing things?”

“Well, maybe because since you and Beck broke up, your brain is trying to cope with the loss by creating visions of things you love” Robbie suggested.

“And you love some messed-up chizz” added Rex.

“So, you think I saw and murdered a vampire because Beck dumped me?” asked a furious Jade.

“I mean, I’ve only had three Psych classes so far—”

Jade closed her laptop before Robbie could finish his sentence. The whole interaction gave her a splitting headache.

 _Why are these the friends that I have_? Jade asked the universe, not expecting an answer.

She went back to staring at nothing. She knew she wasn’t crazy! Hell, she met and slept over with an actual vampire slayer! But how could she prove it to her friends?

Then Jade started thinking.

 _I killed a vampire before_ , she thought, _I can totally do it again_.

She looked out her window to the setting sun. If she started driving to Sunnydale right now, she could make it when it was dark. Perfect vampire hunting weather.

Jade filled her boots with every scissor that could fit in them. She texted _Staying over at Beck’s tonight. Do not disturb_ to her mother. Then she grabbed her car keys and headed back to Sunnydale.

The cemetery wasn’t as large as the ones around Los Angeles but still big enough to impress Jade. She held two of her sharpest scissors in her hands. Walking slowly through the dewy grass, Jade kept an eye out for any suspicious strangers lurking who weren’t her or the two slayers.

As luck would have it, a man crawled out of the grave right in front of Jade. He had the same face as the creep from the bar but was much more brutish. His yellow eyes landed on Jade and he gave a throaty laugh.

“Fresh meat” he smiled.

“Can’t say the same for you” quipped Jade.

She lunged at the bloodsucker with her scissors only to be met by his fist. Jade could taste the blood from her split lip. She couldn’t register the rest of her damage as the vamp grabbed her body and flung her several feet.

Jade landed on the ground with a hard _thud_. Her scissors soared in different directions and out of reach.

 _This was a bad idea! This was a bad idea! Why did I think this was a good idea?_ Jade cried to herself. She could hear the pounding footsteps of the vampire, so she curled into a fetus position, preparing for the inevitable.

Jade heard the demon’s growl, then felt a wave of ash cover her body. Relief washed over her as she knew she was safe.

“What do you think you’re doing?” yelled an unknown voice. “You could’ve gotten yourself killed!”

Once again, Jade could not find the words. “I—”

“Look, Elvira, I know you have some sick fascination with the undead, but leave the stabbing to the professionals, ‘kay?”

Jade turned around to see a blonde woman standing over her. She wore a hot pink shirt with a black leather jacket and held a wooden stake that looked just like Faith’s.

The blondie sighed. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, offering her free hand to Jade, “but it’s really dangerous out here, and I don’t want you or anyone doing anything stu—”

“You’re Buffy, right?” interrupted Jade.

Buffy looked taken aback. She dropped her hand. “How did you kno—”

“B!” came a voice that was awfully familiar to Jade. Her heart started pumping so hard she thought it would explode out of her chest.

Faith came running up behind Buffy, wearing the same red top from this morning.

“Why’d you ditch me? I had to take out a whole gang without you! God, I wish you could see how fucking awesome—”

Faith stopped bragging when she laid eyes on the woman that she said goodbye to hours earlier. Both could feel their chests tightening.

“Jade?”


	4. I Don't Want Your Baggage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Graphic violent dream in this chapter. Please skip the italicized paragraph if necessary.

For as long as she could remember, she planned to become a screen writer. Attending Hollywood Arts was the first step. She’d hone her craft for years until the only feedback she received from teachers were either “Well done” or “Thank you for the nightmares.” After graduation, one of her teachers would pass along her scripts to a close friend who just so _happened_ to be a prolific director/producer/studio executive. They’d call her and ask, no, _beg_ to turn her screenplay into a reality. She’d then make the most amazing horror movie of all time. It’d break all the box office records and the major film critics would cream themselves to death. Then come the awards, the recognition, and the acceptance speeches where she’d thank everyone who’ve helped her on her journey—those not being any ex-boyfriends or the bitches she went to high school with.

Jade also knew that throughout her years of writing, she would never come close to the insanity or awkwardness of her current situation.

There she was, lying face up in a small-town graveyard with a terrible reanimated corpse infestation. Her legs were covered in vampire dust. Two faces stared down at her, a stranger who was angry at Jade’s suicide mission, and a someone else who looked like she’d finish Jade's mission herself.

Even though she knew it was futile, Jade tried to play it cool. She laid on her side like July in her mother’s sexy firefighters’ calendar, her arm propping up her chin.

“Hey Faith” she greeted, brushing the ash off her jeans.

Buffy turned to the other slayer. “You two know each other?”

Faith’s eyes shifted between Jade and Buffy. “She’s…my friend” she hesitantly answered.

“Yeah, we’re super close” Jade added.

“From Boston?” Buffy asked.

“From The Bronze.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely a Faith ‘friend.’”

Faith reached down and pulled Jade up off the ground. “What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Your Bronze ‘friend’ was being a goth Rambo and jumping graves for risen vampires.” Buffy huffed.

“Dude!” Faith lightly punched Jade in the shoulder. “I told you that you got lucky! Just ‘cause you slay one vamp doesn’t mean you can slay them all!”

Buffy’s eyes went wide. “Wait…you actually killed a vampire? With a stake and everything?”

“Actually, it was scissors, but you know, same ending either way” Jade winced.

Faith quickly grew concerned. “You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Jade answered, “they’re just pinching my skin.” She knelt to pull her scissor collection out of her boots.

“Wow. Why do you have so many scissors?” wondered Buffy.

“I wanted to come prepared.”

“Yeah, they definitely helped” Faith joked.

Jade tried to hide the small smile creeping on her face.

“Hey, B, could you, uh, give us a couple minutes here? I-I’ll still be on lookout, but uh—”

“Take care of your business. Just don’t ditch me like last night.”

Faith glanced slyly at Jade, as if to secure an inside joke between them. “Five-by-five.”

They watched Buffy walk farther away from them and closer to the tombstones.

“She seems nice.” Jade said, trying to take the attention away from herself.

“She is. A little uptight about everything, but she’ll learn.”

They stared at each other, neither of them wanting to address the elephant in the room. Jade kept focusing on Faith’s eyes. They were brown, but such a dark, rich shade she had never seen before. They almost hurt to look at. Jade wanted to turn away from the intense beauty, but she didn’t want to give Faith any more power than she had already.

“How’s your hangover?” Faith finally asked.

“Pretty much gone.”

“Good.”

“Thanks.”

Another long pause.

“Jade—”

“Look, the only reason I’m here is to get proof that vampires exist. My shitty friends don’t believe me and unbelievably I care about their shitty lives, so this would shut them up. If you can help me, I’ll be out of your hair.”

Just as Faith was about to rebuttal, they both heard a vampire climbing out of his grave.

“Hold that thought,” Faith said and ran to the tombstone. Jade slowly followed her and hid behind a white birch tree.

She realized that this was the first time she’d see Faith slay a vampire. Jade marveled in awe as Faith instantly punched the demon in the face the second his feet touched the ground. Then came the fisticuffs that was routine for Faith but exasperating for Jade. Watching Faith fight was almost better than watching Faith dance. She looked so strong, so powerful. It was like Faith encompassed all of womanhood in one over-the-shoulder takedown.

Jade was so enraptured that she didn’t even notice Faith reaching down the vampire’s throat and him screaming in pain. After she staked him, Faith jogged over to Jade and handed her the vampire’s incisor.

“Slayer amateur dentistry” Faith quipped. “Don’t traumatize your friends too much. Have a good rest of your night.” She started walking away, but Jade ran up to her.

“Wait! That’s it?”

“That’s it. You said you'd scram after I gave you the tooth, and you haven’t scrammed yet.”

“Well, I thought this would take longer, you know? We’d have to walk around the cemetery for a while, finding a vamp, and we’d maybe get to know each other more along the way.”

“I have the most dangerous job in the world. You’re a liability just standing here.”

“Faith—”

“Jade, I told you not to come back after you fixed your problems. Now unless you’re hoarding some sort of time-travel demon, that shit hasn’t happened yet!”

“Well look who’s talking! Mrs. I-skipped-town-because-I’m-too-much-of-a-pussy-to-deal-with-my-own-dilemas!”

Faith threw down her stake and walked right into Jade’s personal space, fuming with silent anger.

“Call me a pussy one more time.”

Once again, Jade stared deep into Faith’s eyes. Unlike previously, Jade had an easier time looking at them. She could see Faith’s fury in them. Anger was easier to deal with than the unnamable emotions she felt.

After a minute, Faith stepped down. “You’re a cool person, Jade. But I don’t want your baggage. I have plenty of my own.”

As Faith walked away, Jade’s complicated emotions about the slayer started disappearing as her earlier complicated emotions bubbled up. They still felt the same as the day when Jade read Beck’s ten-character text _we’re over_. It was fear clawing at her windpipe. It was the regret, the loneliness, the self-hatred. Jade knew the feelings were about spill over, and Faith’s walking away would tip the pitcher. Out of desperation, Jade blurted out the first words she could form.

“My mom!”

Faith stopped. It was a start.

“My mom doesn’t know that my boyfriend and I broke up. She…we don’t have a good relationship. She hasn’t admitted it, but I know she’s ashamed of me. I’m her biggest regret. But he was my tether. He was something my mom could understand. She finally saw me. And he wasn’t my tether for my mom, but for everyone. My friends were his friends first. People tolerated my weird and dark behavior, and my opinions weren’t sidelined for being too ‘unpopular.’ But now he’s gone, and I am terrified. I am terrified that all the goodness I have in my life will go with him. I’m terrified it was all because of him. I love how different I am, but sometimes the constant rejection is too deafening to handle. And when you hear it long enough, you start believing that they’re right. I’m too hard. I’m too unlovable. No one will ever see me the way he did. But last night you made me smile in days, and that’s nothing to look over. You are the best person in my life, even if I’ve known you the shortest. And I want to know more. Faith, I have nowhere to go. Deep down in your baggage, I know you know what that feels like. So, please, Faith…let me stay. I’ll leave tomorrow morning and won’t bother you at work ever again. Just please let me stay tonight.”

She watched Faith’s back of her head, trying to see if it showed what she was thinking. She watched Faith clench her fist, only to release it a second later.

Eventually, Faith walked back to Jade.

“You are sitting in your car until I’m done, you’re paying for our burgers, and this time you’re sleeping on the guest bed.”

“ _NUDE_?” Jade screamed. Faith reached over from the table to try and cover Jade’s mouth. Alas, it was to no avail, as several people in line were staring at the two.

“J, I don’t know what fancy Doublemeat Palace you go to in L.A., but you can’t be shouting shit like that here in Sunnydale.”

“Joke’s on you, there’s no such thing as a fancy Doublemeat Palace. Besides, you can’t just tell someone that you hugged a preacher naked and have them not freak out!”

“His congregation was almost vamp food! My smoking hot body was the least of his problems.”

“…That’s fair” Jade agreed.

“Oh, so you think my body’s smoking hot?”

Stopping herself from blushing, Jade threw a french fry at Faith in retaliation, only to have her catch it in her mouth.

“God, you’re incorrigible” Jade muttered.

“Do what you’re good at” Faith rebutted. As she took a sip from her soda, she watched as Jade fiddled with her scissors.

“Hey, um, those scissors look really familiar.”

Jade smiled. “They’re my favorite pair, from my favorite movie of all time.”

“What movie?”

“Oh, it’s stupid…just some slasher flick—”

“ _The Scissoring_?” Faith guessed.

Jade thought her eyes would pop out of her head. “You know _The Scissoring_?”

“Yeah, I saw it years ago in some theater in Boston. I think I liked it, but I’d have to see it again ‘cause I might have liked the head I got while watching it instead and I’m just mixing up the two.”

Jade almost choked on her ice coffee. Why did Faith have to be so frank about her sexuality?

And why did it bother her so much?

She realized that Faith was waiting for her to say something, so she sputtered “I…I-I make films.”

Faith cocked her eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, I go to a performing arts school, and I like making horror movies.”

“HOLY SHIT!” Now it was Faith’s turn to draw attention. She got up from her side of their booth and squeezed into Jade’s. She wrapped her arm around Jade’s torso.

“I knew this place was magical when I got here,” Faith said, “but I never thought it’d perform fucking miracles, ‘cause now I know the only cool theater kid!”

“Thanks!” Jade giggled. “Never meet my friends.”

“Why? Are they bad?”

“One thinks his puppet is real.”

“Jesus. Wait, _is_ it real? Buffy had to deal with that sophomore year at her school talent show.”

“Honestly, I hope he is, because when I burn him, I want him to feel the pain.”

Faith laughed hard. When it died down and their conversation fell silent, Jade noticed that Faith didn’t leave or take her arm off her.

“I-If you want,” Jade stammered, “I could bring one of my films to your apartment and we could watch it together.”

Faith half smiled. “You’re basically asking a surgeon to watch _Grey’s Anatomy_ , but that would be fun. Do you have any of your movies on VHS?”

“Some of them.”

“Cool. I’m down.”

“Okay!” Jade perked. “I can send you an invite on The Slap!”

“The what?”

“The Slap!” Jade repeated.

Faith still looked confused. 

“It’s a social media website.”

“Oh. I don’t really use those. I try to keep my identity protected from the tech-savvy demons.”

“Okay. Can I text you?”

“Don’t a have cellphone either. Too expensive, and the Apple store has beefed up their security, so righteous theft is out of the question.”

Jade looked down at her lap, glum. She didn’t know after tonight when she’d see Faith again. Her biggest hope was exchanging numbers and texting each other through their time apart. How would she be able to connect with Faith now?

"Hey” Faith said. Jade looked up at her.

“You have some grease at the end of your mouth.”

Before Jade could find her paper napkin, Faith placed her thumb on Jade’s cheek. She felt frozen as Faith’s deliberately slow digit stroked her face to wipe off the grease. Jade’s cheeks reddened as she watched Faith lick the oil off her thumb.

“You’re disgusting” Jade remarked.

“It’s the best part!” Faith argued. It was all she needed to get up from Jade’s side and throw away their trash.

Jade stared down at the clear Doublemeat Palace table to process what had happened.

Only Faith could drive her into an existential crisis over animal fat.

_Jade opened her eyes to Beck kissing her. He was enjoying it, moaning softly into her mouth. She could feel the shag carpet underneath her body. The neon lights glared above, brighter than what she remembered. She ruffled Beck’s voluminous hair, encouraging him to go deeper. The familiar feel of his lips on hers, and the taste of his chapstick soothed her into comfortableness. Beck’s warm body was her home. As much as Jade loved kissing Beck, she wanted to walk around his RV since she hadn’t been in there for a while. She then realized that she couldn’t move. Her arms and legs were glued to the floor. It was then she felt a cold, metal object stroking the side of her now naked skin. Beck held the knife over his head and stabbed her through the heart. Jade couldn’t feel the pain, but she felt the shock. Beck kept stabbing over and over until her chest gushed with dark, red blood. Her open wound was a mini volcano, and the blood covered her everywhere. Jade felt dirty. She wanted to look away, but she couldn’t move her head. All she could do was stare at Beck, who was emotionless as he stabbed her repeatedly. When he felt done, he got off Jade and walked out of the RV. The door opening glared blinding sunlight. It hurt her eyes, but Jade had no choice as to keep staring. Suddenly, a black silhouette came into focus. Jade couldn’t tell who it was, but she knew it was a woman. As the woman stepped inside the RV, Jade realized it was Faith. She laid on top of Jade in the same position that Beck was before. Jade could feel the tips of Faith’s hair on her face. Just then, Faith slowly traced Jade’s mouth with her fingers. Before Jade could process that, Faith started licking the blood off her body. She drew a long stripe from Jade’s collarbone to her ear. Then another long stripe against her throat. Then she circled her tongue around Jade’s open wound. Faith started to go lower—_

Jade shot out of the pullout couch, screaming. She felt disoriented and didn’t know where she was. It didn’t take long to remember when the lamp turned on, and Faith swung a sword around the room.

“WHERE IS IT?” she yelled. She then noticed Jade on the floor, dressed in Faith's sweats.

“Sorry” Faith apologized. “I thought a demon broke in here.”

“S’okay” Jade managed to squeak.

“Bad dream?” Faith asked as she helped Jade back into bed.

Jade nodded.

“Want to talk about it?”

Jade furiously shook her head.

“Okay.” Faith shoved the sword back under her mattress and climbed into her sheets.

“Jade? You can sleep next to me if you need to” she offered, pulling the empty side cover off.

Jade once again shook her head.

“That’s fine. You can always change your mind.” Faith was about to turn off the light when she remembered something else. “I probably should have told you that I keep a sword under my mattress. Glaring oversight.”

Jade chuckled. Faith turned off the lamp. Jade laid down on the guest bed, staring up at the ceiling.

 _Here I am, once again_ she thought. She looked over at Faith, who quickly fell asleep.

 _But when will I be back_?

Jade got up from the pullout couch and slid herself in next to Faith. She didn’t know how much room to give Faith without making it uncomfortable, so she stayed at the extremely far edge of the bed. She tried to see what Faith looked like asleep, but it was hard to look at her face in the dark.

What Jade did notice was they were breathing at the same time. Ever so carefully, Jade inched towards Faith until their sides were touching. She could see both their chests move up and down together. On the sides they were sleeping on, Jade could feel her heart against Faith’s.

She soon fell asleep to the sound of their two hearts beating together, dreaming they were one.

The peeking sliver of pink sky woke Jade up. Instantly, it put her in a bad mood. No argument that is was the next morning, and she had to leave before Faith woke up.

What Jade hadn’t planned on was Faith big spooning her.

 _Why is she spooning me_? Jade thought.

 _Does she know she’s spooning me_?

 _How can I make this last longer_?

But Jade knew she had to go. Just as careful as she was last night, she slipped out of Faith’s reach without waking her. She changed back into yesterday’s clothes—a new forming habit of hers—and tiptoed to the door.

Jade managed to crack it open without any problem, until she heard a mumbling from the bed.

“Bye Jade.”

Jade smiled bittersweetly.

“Bye Faith.”


	5. Don't Worry

Some people receive flowers. Others get chocolate. There are many stories of loved ones exchanging letters, rings, handkerchiefs, lipstick prints on paper napkins, or any other memento to symbolize the memories they have of each other.

For Jade, she had a vampire tooth.

All day Sunday, she laid on her bed examining the fang. It felt like any other tooth, except longer with a sharper end. If anything, it was closer to a dog’s tooth than a human one.

 _This_ , Jade thought. _This is all I have of her. No texts, no photos. Just a tooth. And I have to wait all week to see her again._

She groaned. She felt empty without Faith around, telling her smart-ass jokes with her dimpled smile.

Jade felt a lot of things about Faith, but there was no way she would contemplate them now. She decided to focus on the one glimmer of hope she had for her future. Thanks to Faith, Jade now had proof to show her friends that vampires truly existed.

When Jade wasn’t wallowing, she would finish her weekend homework that she never started. While she watched bootleg Shakespeare plays, she twirled the fang between her fingers. At the end of the first act, Jade felt something stab through her thumb.

“Shit!” she cried. She looked down to see the tooth lodged in her skin. Never squeamish about the human body, she slowly twisted the fang out of her thumb, only to be met by a stream of blood dripping down her palm.

 _Fuck fuck fuck fuck_ she thought, racing towards the bathroom. She quickly held her thumb under cool water and sealed the wound with three jumbo bandages.

After the injury was taken care of, she looked down at the tooth, its point painted red.

 _Now they’re definitely going to believe me_ , Jade thought.

Jade thought wrong.

“So, what is it really?” asked Cat.

“For the last time, it’s a vampire fang!” screamed an aggravated Jade.

The gang were once again seated at their usual lunch table, and once again Beck and Tori declined to join them. They were much more interested in recreating the spaghetti-and-meatball scene from _Lady and the Tramp_. Usually, this is something that would cause Jade to walk over and dump their pasta over their heads, but she had more prominent issues to deal with.

Like trying to warn her dumb friends that they were in danger.

“I mean, it’s a really cool prop” said Andre.

“What kind of fake blood did you use for the point?” asked Robbie.

“It’s not fake! It’s my own blood!” cried Jade.

“ _Now_ you want to use real blood” Cat muttered into her grilled cheese.

“I accidentally stabbed myself with this! That’s why I’m wearing these Band-Aids! See?” Jade gave the gang a thumbs-up.

The gang exchanged concerned glances.

“Look, Jade,” said Andre, “It’s not that we don’t believe you…”

“We don’t!” said Rex. Jade stared daggers at the puppet.

“But,” continued Andre, “you gotta understand that we’re having a hard time dealing with this. It’s not every day that we hear about vampires existing.”

“You all listen to Cat and her stories about the mythical creatures she’s met, and you don’t even bat an eye!” Jade argued.

“That’s ‘cause Cat always says some crazy chizz. We tune her out” said Andre.

“And more importantly, _they’re not true_ ” added Robbie.

“Did I ever tell you guys how I met Bigfoot right here in L.A.?” questioned Cat.

“That wasn’t Bigfoot!” Robbie yelled, “That was a tall hobo on Mulholland Drive!”

“Why are you so hurtful?” cried Cat. She stood up from the table and went to sit with Beck and Tori.

“Listen guys! I’m being serious!” said Jade. “This is an actual vampire fang, from an actual vampire, and some of them might be in L.A. right now!”

“Jade…” tried Andre before Robbie interrupted.

“Oh, come on Jade! You think I’m an idiot? That tooth could barely puncture celery more than my neck!”

Having just enough of Robbie, Jade reached over the table and grabbed his juice box. With one swift movement, she plunged the tooth into the box. It exploded like a water balloon. She handed the cardboard carcass back to Robbie.

“Still don’t believe me?” she asked.

“You popped my apple juice!” cried Robbie.

“Jade! Apologize for his juice popping!” Andre commanded.

Just as Jade was about to defend herself, Beck walked over to their table.

“Hey guys,” he greeted, “Cat’s over at our table, and I was wondering if you all wanted to join us.”

Andre and Robbie both looked at Jade. She sent the message _don’t you fucking dare_ through every muscle in her face.

“Yeah, I’m cool to chill” said Andre, picking up for lunch.

“Wait for me!” Robbie chimed in.

Jade stared straight down at her lunch tray as both boys walked away. Beck did not follow them, choosing to stand next to Jade.

“You coming?” he gestured.

“I’d rather eat lunch by myself” she said, twirling her spaghetti.

Instead of taking her hint, Beck sat down across from Jade.

“I know you want to sit with your friends” he said.

“I do, but all I see at that table are four limp sausages, something I’m sure you’re very familiar with.”

Beck laughed slightly. “I’ve been texting you.”

“Yeah, that’s how I know I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“After that.”

“Really? I haven’t gotten any. But now that you mention it, I have been getting these texts from this phone number I don’t recognize—”

“Jade—”

“Oh wait, was that you?”

“ _Jade_ —”

She slammed her hand on the table. “I don’t know how many girls you dated before me, but everyone in the history of ever says you should never— _never_ —break up over text. You thought I was the toxic one in our relationship?”

“Babe, not—”

“Oh, I bet your girlfriend’s going to _love_ that you called your ex ‘babe!’”

“Tori won’t—”

“Tori is the scummiest of the Hollywood grime. I loved you for your good taste, but now I’m not so sure anymore!”

Her last comment took Beck aback. “You…you loved me?”

Jade stared back at him. It surprised her how much she could still look into his eyes. She forgot about how his brown eyes had a tiny speck of green in the corner. This was a fact she remembered when they dated, completely gone from her memory in a week. She stared him down, holding back a welling tear.

“Yeah. I did.”

Beck’s mouth curled the tiniest bit upwards.

“I told you that I did” Jade added.

“I just thought—”

“You don’t just have to show your love physically.”

Their conversation turned dark again. Jade rotated her head to see her friends looking over at them. Immediately as they made eye contact, the group turned back to their lunches.

“Have you two done it?” she asked Beck.

“That’s not really your business.”

“I know,” Jade twisted her spork, “Usually. But sex—”

Beck winced.

“ _Sex_ is a tricky, complicated situation. Especially when it involves consent—”

“Whoah, is that your tooth?” Beck tried changing the subject.

Jade looked down at the fang she forgot to hide. “Uh, no. It belongs to…something else.”

“Like what?”

“…A vampire.”

She knew the moment the words left her lips, he would ridicule her, just like every person she tried convincing so far.

As she was learning today, Beck still had the power to surprise her.

“Which one?”

“…What?”

“Which vampire did you get it from?”

“I-I don’t know. It just came out of its grave.”

“How’d you get it?”

Now this was a conversation Jade _really_ didn’t want to have.

“From…a friend.”

“Oh?” said a surprised Beck. “A friend who lives in Canada?”

Jade laughed despite herself. “Nah, it didn’t work out the first time, so why try again?”

Beck laughed too. “Guess he’s pretty hot though.”

“Oh yeah, she’s a goddess.”

Beck laughed even harder. As he laughed, Jade turned to look at Tori. She looked away just as Jade spotted her, but she could tell Tori was concerned.

“You should get back to your girlfriend” she recommended after Beck calmed down.

“Don’t worry,” he leaned in. “She’s not the jealous type.”

“Don’t worry,” she squeezed his hand. “She will be.”

Jade could barely stand still in front of her floor-length mirror. She had waited for this day all week and the anticipation made her giddy. After eating lunch by herself and gagging at Tori and Beck’s nose nuzzles, she could finally spend time with someone she actually cared about.

Well, not so much “spend time” than “watch from afar.” Jade remembered that Saturday was Faith and Buffy’s training day at the high school library, so she knew they’d be both too out of breath to talk to.

 _Besides, who trains for the most lethal job in a_ library? _Maybe if they carry vampire hunting guides or spell books_ , Jade thought.

Waking up much earlier than she usually did on the weekends, Jade planned the perfect outfit to wear. Since Sunnydale is still stuck in the 90’s, she dug through the deepest corners of her closet to find the pieces that closely matched the times. Jade ended up wearing a black velvet long sleeved top, a short black plaid skirt, black tights, and black calf-high combat boots with several silver buckles.

 _90’s chic or goth prostitute?_ Jade questioned. _If anyone asks, just say Faith is your inspiration_.

She then walked over to her dresser for the most important item of the outfit. During one of her Costume Design classes, Jade completely disregarded her assignment to hot glue the vampire tooth to the middle of a thick, black ribbon. She tied the ribbon tightly around her neck and examined her outfit one final time, now complete with her choker.

 _Perfect_.

As she walked to the garage, she shouted “I’m going over to Beck’s house!” aloud. She didn’t wait for her mother to respond, so she started the car and drove to Sunnydale yet again.

Jade had different expectations when she parked in front of Sunnydale High. She thought there would be a 20 feet high electric fence with barbed wire on top surrounding the school. She thought crosses would be planted in the lawn. Jade expected some sort of protection against the rampant vampire infestation.

But no, it just looked like any other American high school. Jade walked up the steps, through the front doors, and followed the signs to the library. She could hear some faint grunts coming from the room on her right.

Jade entered the library to see shelves and shelves of books. Common for a library, but many of them seemed to be over 1,000 years old, their dusty leather spines falling apart. Across the room was a giant window, beaming with sunlight. Right in front of the light appeared two silhouettes fighting each other. Jade had to assume they were Faith and Buffy.

Sitting at one of the tables observing the pair was a much older man. He wore glasses and a tweed coat. Jade also assumed this was the librarian/trainer.

The man was the first to notice Jade’s presence as he shot out of his seat, startled.

“Oh, erm, hello there” he spoke in a British accent.

“Hi” Jade greeted back. She peered over his shoulder to see that Buffy and Faith had stopped fighting, wondering what was going on.

“Don’t be alarmed…with what’s happening, erm…behind me” he stammered.

“I wasn’t” she assured him.

“We were, erm, just about to start our, erm, um…car wash…fundraiser.”

Jade could hear Faith snicker behind him.

“You’re going to wash cars…in the library” she affirmed.

The man gave a nervous, sputtering chuckle. “Well, you see, erm, it’s actually a very funny story—”

“Giles!” called out Buffy.

Giles turned towards the girls. “Yes?” he asked.

“She knows” both slayers said at the same time.

Giles turned back to Jade, a relieved yet puzzled smile on his face.

“Oh, erm, I see. Yes, well, erm…”

Faith interrupted Giles’ stuttering by racing over, jumping over a table behind him, and wrapping Jade in her arms.

“Hey J” she whispered in Jade’s ear.

“Oh my god, you’re so sweaty!” Jade cried, prying herself from Faith’s grip. Both were laughing at their reunion.

Buffy walked over to join them. “Hey…um…”

“Jade” she corrected Buffy.

“Right. Glad to see you’re doing better.”

“Thanks.” Jade looked down at her bandaged thumb. “Well, 99% of me.”

“What happened?” asked a concerned Faith, grabbing her hand.

“I didn’t realize how sharp the vampire fang was, and my thumb turned into a geyser.”

“Yeah, that’s the thing about vampire teeth,” said Buffy, “They’re…sharp.”

“How on earth did you acquire a vampire fang?” asked Giles.

“This ‘Howling Mad’ Murdoch right here” Jade pointed at Faith, as Faith flexed her muscles. She then noticed Jade’s homemade choker.

“Oh shit!” exclaimed Faith.

“Language, Faith” warned Giles.

“But Giles! Look!” Faith lifted the tooth upwards with her hand. Jade prayed that her chest wouldn’t flush with pink from Faith’s skin-on-skin contact.

“I hot glued the vampire fang onto my choker” explained Jade.

“That’s so sick!” cried Faith.

“Yes,” Giles agreed, “That is very impressive, and erm, probably Freudian, but we don’t have time to go over that. These ladies have a lot of training to do, so I’m afraid you three won’t be able to go for manicures or, erm, shop for boy band magazines today.”

“Real progressive, Giles” said Buffy.

“That’s okay,” said Jade, “I was just planning on watching you guys train and…stuff.”

“Fine by me” said Faith. “Been working real hard on my stuff.”

“I mean…” pondered Buffy, “If she’s not here to, like, record anything, I vote she can stay.”

“I’m not a vampire spy” pointed out Jade.

“Could’ve fooled me with that outfit” Faith jabbed.

Jade giggled like a nervous schoolgirl and hated herself for it. Both slayers went back to training and Giles supervised. Jade sat at one of the tables and watched the slayers work.

They were fighting each other with knives. Faith and Buffy kept dodging each other’s attempted slashing and stabbing. The round ended when they both held their knives up to their throats, and then they’d start again.

Jade stared at them in awe. Not even the big screen superheroes had the reflexes of these two. Faith moved her body as if it were made of air. She could jump, slide, and duck faster than Jade could blink. With the rest of her slayer abilities, Faith also had the power to entrance Jade whenever she watched her. No matter how much Faith’s beauty hurt to look at, Jade could never turn away.

Then there was the matter of what kind of bra Faith wore. Jade tried to look anywhere on Faith’s body except her chest, but she couldn’t stop from staring at her bullseyes. She knew that it was gross and pervasive, but dear god how could she not look away? Jade could feel the heat rise from her chest as Faith’s breasts float in the air as she back flipped over Buffy’s knife. She then could feel her body overheat, and her palms sweat, and her mouth salivate—

“Xander!” yelled Buffy, bringing Jade out of her thoughts. “Out! Now!”

Jade turned to see a dorky boy standing beside her.

“Aw c’mon, Buffster! How come she,” Xander pointed at Jade, “can watch and I can’t?”

“She’s a guest. You’re a nuisance. Get out.”

Xander groaned and headed towards the exit. Jade noticed that he hid behind the reception desk when the slayers weren’t looking. Xander then snuck up behind Jade and sat down next to her.

“Hey” he smiled coyly.

Jade glared at him.

“I’m Xander.”

“Yeah, I know. Pretty sure Buffy wasn’t calling you by your prison name.”

“Nah, I’m not a bad boy. I’m just bad at everything else.”

Jade reached down for her scissors. “I went to prison. Foreign one. In Yerba.”

Xander laughed. “Wow. Real sense of humor on you!”

“I'm not fucking joking.”

Xander stopped laughing.

“My gang ties run deep, so don’t try anything stupid.”

“You’re basically asking me build Rome in a day.”

They both sat in silence, watching the slayers train. After a while, Xander broke the tension.

“You one of Buffy’s L.A. friends?”

“No, I’m Faith’s L.A. friend. Buffy’s from L.A.?”

“Yeah, she moved here about two years ago ‘cause of the Hell Mouth.”

“Oh. Buffy seems…fine, I guess. Haven’t seen much of her, so we haven’t really hit it off. First time she saw me was face down in the mud trying to get this tooth.” She showed Xander her choker.

“Nice!”

“Actually, Faith pulled it out.”

Xander snickered hard. Jade gave him a death stare.

“It’s just…” Xander stumbled for and answer “…Faith’s dentistry.”

“Well my specialty is circumcision” Jade snipped her scissors in Xander’s face.

“Note taken.”

“Anyways, I don’t think Buffy likes me. She probably thinks I have a death fetish, and this outfit isn’t helping.”

“Oh!” Xander yelled. “ _You_ have a death fetish? Buffy thinks that _you_ have a death fetish? Buffy— _that Buffy,_ right over there—has pegged you as being hot for dead people?”

Xander’s commotion caused the slayers to stop their training and walk over to their table.

“Well, sexy-lady-who-never-told-me-what-your-name-is, I have a fun fact about our slayer’s last boyfriend. You see, he—ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!” Buffy grabbed Xander by his ear and dragged him to the exit.

“What did I say? WHAT DID I JUST SAY?” she fumed at Xander as they left the library. Giles staggered behind the two but stopped to face Jade and Faith.

“They’ll, erm, most likely be outside for a while, so, erm, Faith, just, erm…train like you’d usually do on your own.”

“A bag of Fritos and _Cops_ reruns. Got it.”

Giles gave a quick, confused nod of the head and left Jade and Faith in the library alone.

Faith walked over to the far side of the training mat to grab a block of wood.

“So, did you know what Xander was going to say?” Jade asked Faith.

“B dated a vampire. Didn’t end pretty.”

“You call her B.”

“Yeah. That’s not usually the first thing people question when I say that sentence.”

“And you call me J.”

“Yeah?” Faith was confused, but then the realization came to her face. “Are you jealous?”

“NO.” Jade said harshly.

“Okay, okay! Geez, struck a nerve there.”

Jade sighed. She couldn’t repeat her mistakes. Not with Faith.

“What are you doing with that wood?” she asked.

“It’s a balancing exercise. You’ll get to see how sweet my arms are.”

“More than they are already?” Jade could instantly feel herself blush after she asked the question.

Faith laughed. “J, you’re fucking hilarious, but I’m gonna need you to shut up. This takes 110% of my concentration.”

“Not a real percentage.”

Faith mirrored the glare Jade gave to Xander earlier. Jade clammed up.

After a few seconds of prompting, Faith put her hands on the top of the block of wood. She slowly lifted her body up until she stood on her hands, her head facing the floor. Her core kept her body tight and balanced. Every muscle in Faith’s arm and torso was defined.

Jade thought she would have a heart attack. Watching both the slayers work out was exhilarating but watching Faith solo was excruciating. Why in the world did she feel this way?

Sure, she’s seen people work out before. When they dated, Jade would go with Beck to the gym. She loved to watch Beck pump iron through the wall mirror. But Faith was a whole other experience. The library was deathly quiet, and Jade worried that Faith would hear her if she gulped.

Then Faith looked up at her. Jade tried presenting herself as cool as possible, even though she was dying on the inside. Faith winked at her, and Jade thought her heart stopped for a second. Being a show-off, Faith tucked her head back down and outstretched one of her arms to the side, now balancing on one hand. Jade couldn’t help but notice how soft her hands looked. Even with the dirt and the sweat of her eternal job, Faith still managed to keep her hands lush and tantalizing.

Faith hopped off the block, and Jade was thankful that she could breathe again.

“Show-off” she teased.

“You wannna try?” Faith offered.

Jade stayed silent.

“Thought so.” Faith lugged the wood back to its spot. After she finished, she ran up to Jade’s table.

“So, did your friends believe you?” Faith eyed the tooth.

“No,” Jade groaned, “and I know exactly what’s going to happen. One of those idiots will get bit, the whole gang will cry over their dead body, and they’ll all be like ‘Why did nobody tell us this would happen?’ But you know who told them?”

“I’m going to say you.”

“Exactly. I am always right, but it takes everyone else a couple steps to get there, and they tell me I’m wrong along the way.”

Faith sighed. She didn’t know what else to say. The only words of comfort she knew how to give were “Shit sucks.”

“Shit sucks” said Faith.

“Yeah” Jade sighed in agreement.

Faith laid her elbows down on Jade’s table. “Listen, you don’t have to worry so much about your friends. There aren’t that many demons in L.A.”

“Really?”

Faith nodded. “But there are some, so just try to be careful. Every single one came from this Hell Mouth, so it’s a whole trickle-down process. Any demons that show up in L.A. are the ones Buffy and I couldn’t kill on time, and trust me, that’s not a lot.”

“Besides,” Faith added as she walked back to the training mat, “not all demons want to murder you. Some work as baristas or karaoke club owners.”

“My friends and I love karaoke.”

“Never been. Not much a singer.”

“I mean, you have to be better than all of the Christina Aguilera wannabe’s at my school.”

Faith smiled. “Thanks J.” Buffy and Giles still hadn’t returned, so Faith practiced her shadow boxing.

Jade had no idea what she was doing, but she stood up and walked over to the slayer.

“Do you…do you think you could teach me some moves?” she asked Faith.

“Why? You planning to bag another vampire?”

“Oh god no. I just thought I could prepare to defend myself when I come across a demon.”

“I just told you that you’re fine. There’s no need to get yourself hurt again.”

Jade then jumped in front of Faith, fists in front of her.

“Come on, F. Take me down.”

Faith cocked her hand on her hip. “Dude…”

“What? Too scared to hit me?”

“No, it’s that the last vampire you ran into hit you back to L.A., and I’m going to hit you into China.”

“Don’t hold back. Take me down.”

Faith sighed yet again. “Fine, but I’m not planning your funeral.”

They both got into position. Faith threw the first punch and Jade ducked.

“Good first try” said Faith. She then tried to kick Jade, but Jade slid away from her foot.

“Not bad!” Faith congratulated. “Now try to hit me.”

“Okay.” Jade punched Faith right in the face.

“FUCK!” cried Faith as she crumpled to the ground, her hands cradling her nose.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Jade knelt beside Faith to take a closer look at the injury. “Are you bleeding?” she asked.

Just then, Faith gave a quick smirk and tackled Jade to the ground. She ended on top of Jade, pining her arms by her head.

“That’s cheating!” yelled Jade.

“What a weird way to say ‘winning.’”

“Screw you.”

“You wish.”

The mood of the room shifted after Faith spoke. They both realized what position they were in. Jade could feel the ends of Faith’s hair tickling her skin.

_Why does this feel so familiar?_

Then Jade remembered her dream. Her nightmare.

Faith was inches away from Jade’s face. If they were closer, their entire relationship would change forever. Did Jade want that? Why would she? She never had any interest in a girl before. There definitely were times when she took in another woman’s beauty, but she didn’t want to date them.

Yet deep down inside of her, a part she was now forced to acknowledge, she knew she wanted this. She ached for something more with Faith. Never has Jade felt this way about someone except for Beck, and sometimes even that was true. She wanted to bury herself in Faith’s tight arms, never wanting her to let go. She wanted to keep waking up to Faith in bed. She wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

But when Faith started lowering herself, Jade panicked. This was all so new to her, so sudden. Jade started hyperventilating and squirming under Faith’s grip.

“Jade?” asked Faith. Jade kept gasping for air, feeling like she would pass out.

Faith let go of her wrists and Jade immediately wiggled out between her legs. She ran towards the exit.

“Jade!” cried Faith, but it was too late. She ran through the doors just as Giles and Buffy re-entered. They were face-to-face with a very bewildered Faith.


	6. I Want This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Drug use, abuse/child abuse, and homophobic slurs are all mentioned in this chapter. Viewer discretion is advised.

Her car inched into the motel parking lot. After turning the engine off, Jade sat back in her chair, huffing out an anxious breath.

She wanted to crawl out of her skin. She wanted to disappear into a wormhole. She wanted to be anywhere else as someone else.

But Jade also wanted to be in that motel room she had come to know so well, with the person inside who made her question everything.

Even question what she wanted at all.

After the disaster at the library, Jade kept replaying her running away from Faith over and over again. She thought about it while driving home, eating dinner, trying to fall asleep, and driving back to Sunnydale. Every minute was torture for Jade, but she told herself she deserved it. The image of Faith’s crushed expression kept her awake all night, the guilt turning into insomnia.

Jade unbuckled her seatbelt, tightened herself into a fetal position, and buried her face in her hands.

 _I’m the worst_ , she thought. _This is why no one will ever love me_.

Yet with all the self-hatred and disgust, Jade knew that she had to be here. She needed to apologize. Jade figured she blew any chance of changing their relationship. But no matter what happened, Jade still wanted a friend in Faith—a very, very, very confusing friend, but a friend, nonetheless.

However, Jade was still mortified about yesterday’s incident. She couldn’t bear to look Faith in the eye more than usual, so apologizing face-to-face was out of the question.

As a compromise, Jade decided to apologize with a gift. She remembered when Faith said she didn’t have a cellphone. She also remembered the outdated iPhone she kept tucked away in her desk drawer and never bothered to throw out. When she found it in her room last night, she produced a brilliant plan. This was:

  1. Break into Faith’s apartment
  2. Leave the phone—and her phone number—on the bed
  3. Get the fuck out before Faith comes back



Jade figured Faith would be training with Buffy all day, so her plan was full proof.

After several minutes of coaxing, Jade finally stepped out her car. She hurriedly walked to Faith’s door, cellphone in one hand, bobby pin in the other. Jade had watched several videos on how to pick locks, so she believed herself to be an expert.

The constant fumbling and dropping of the pin proved her otherwise. It became too much when the bobby pin snapped in half inside the keyhole.

“Goddamnit!” Jade screamed, banging a fist on the door.

“How about an actual key?” Faith offered, handing Jade her key.

“Thank you” said Jade, not registering the situation. It’s when she fished the pin out and slipped the key inside that she realized what had happened.

Jade turned and screamed when she saw Faith standing above her, holding an open soda can.

“Glad to see you too” said Faith.

“Wha-wha-what are you doing here?”

“I think I should be asking that question.”

Jade’s face turned beet red. Her eyes focused on Faith’s combat boots.

“Listen, I’m not gonna report you.” Faith reassured her. “Honestly, I’m really curious why you’re breaking into my room. It’s definitely not to rob me, because you know I have nothing even worth stealing. Unless you count my weapons,” she half-smiled. Then her demeanor suddenly changed. “Wait, do you actually need weapons? J, I can help you out, don’t try to take the law into your own han—”

“No, Faith, no. I don’t need your weapons. I…” Jade slowly stood up from off the ground and sheepishly handed Faith the cellphone. “I came to give you this. I remembered when you said that you didn’t have a cellphone, and I had this lying around. I also have my phone number too.” She then handed Faith a crumpled slip of paper. “Now we can talk anytime, and I don’t have to come here just on the weekends to see you.”

Faith looked at the phone and smiled. “Tha—”

“And it’s also an apology.” Jade interrupted. “For yesterday.”

Faith nodded. “Thanks.” She took a long drink of her soda.

“So…why aren’t you training with Buffy?”

“I was waiting for you.”

“Really? You knew I was coming?”

“No.”

Faith’s nails tapped on her soda can.

“Look, um,” she stumbled, “Yesterday’s training was…intense.”

 _That’s one way to put it_ , Jade thought.

“So,” Faith continued, “I thought if you showed up again today, then we wouldn’t go back to the library.”

She unlocked her door and Jade followed her inside.

“What did you have in mind?” Jade asked.

“Well, I think the big reason training was so hard was that you were too much in your head. You weren’t thinking clearly. So, I figured that to get out of your head, you need to get into the real thing.” She threw a stake for Jade to catch, but Jade jumped out of the way in shock. “There’s a warehouse of vampires about a mile away from here. We kick down the doors, you and me, and annihilate all those suckers. I'm told there’s twenty of them, so we can take half and half. You won’t be thinking so hard when a vamp’s not-breathing down your neck.”

Jade looked at Faith horrified. What in god’s name was happening?

Faith tried to keep a serious face but cracked up soon after. She grabbed the corner of her bed she was laughing so hard.

“Oh my god!” she cried. She shakingly held out the phone in front of Jade.

“Take this back. Your face is the best gift I could ever ask for!” she screamed.

After Faith finally pulled herself together, she went over to her nightstand and opened the drawer. She then took out its Bible. Inside the Bible was a plastic bag with a green herb lining the bottom.

“I have pot, and I’m smoking it all today. Want in?”

_Time slowed down. Jade swore she could feel the minutes tick by. Laying side-by-side on Faith’s bed, they passed the blunt to each other. Jade took another hit, much larger than the last time. She coughed out a hefty cloud of smoke._

_“Holy shit” she exclaimed._

_“It’s good, right?” Faith asked._

_“Is it normal to feel your own skeleton?”_

_Faith laughed. “Okay, it’s not_ that _good.”_

_“I’ve never done this, so it’s all so overwhelming. And not at the same time.”_

_“You’ve never smoked pot? Don’t you go to some art school?”_

_“Performing arts school. All the music teachers hammer in how smoking anything is bad for our vocal chords.”_

_“Too late now, I guess.” Faith took in another puff. “I’m still shocked you’ve never tried this.”_

_“Why? Because I dress like a bad influence?”_

_“Kind of.”_

" _Well, surprisingly I’m clean cut. I like the artistry but not the actual content, if that makes sense.”_

_“We’re both stoned as fuck. Nothing has to make sense.”_

_“Oh.” Jade stared up at Faith’s ceiling. The orange glow of the sunset shone across the white paint. How much time had passed?_

_“God, I’ve never been this relaxed in my life” she said._

_“This shit is a life-saver. With all the slaying, I’d lose my fucking mind if I couldn’t smoke.”_

_“You could punch me in the stomach, and I wouldn’t feel it.”_

_“Let’s not go that far.”_

_“But now I’m invulnerable to pain!”_

_“You’re not. Physically.”_

_“What about mentally?”_

_“That too.”_

_“I think you’re wrong.”_

_“I’m wrong?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Okay, I’ll take the bait. Talk about something right now that’s bothering you.”_

_“Like what?”_

_“You know what.”_

_Jade stared at Faith with fuzzy eyes._

_“Your ex-boyfriend” Faith reminded._

" _Oh. Him.”_

_“Yeah. Him.”_

_Jade looked back up to the ceiling. Whenever she spent time with Faith in Sunnydale, she actively pushed down any thought of Beck. What could she say now?_

_“Told you that you couldn’t do it” said Faith._

_“I’m thinking!”_

_“Just say anything. Like, what does he look like?”_

_“He looks the way this rooms smells.”_

_Faith laughed hard._

_“He wears flannel and blue jeans all the time. His hair is so fluffy, like petting a cat tummy. He's tan and sleeps in his RV.”_

_“A real John Mayer type.”_

_"Yeah.”_

_“Bet he’s real popular with the ladies.”_

_“He is. They flirt with him all the time, especially when we were dating. They even did it right in front of me.”_

_“Ballsy. What did he say?”_

_“Nothing. He let them flirt, and whenever I told him I didn’t like it, he just said they were being ‘friendly.’”_

_“Wow, fuck him.”_

_“He called me jealous. Everyone called me jealous.”_

_“Were you?”_

_“Of course, I was! Here were all these typical pretty, rich, girly-girls that any guy would go crazy for. And nobody, not even my friends, could understand why he would date me. I’m the weird girl. The scary girl. The ‘hard’ girl. Sometimes_ I _even wondered why he dated me. Whenever those girls would flirt with him, I was scared that their tricks would work. That Beck would realize how different I was and how those girls would be so much better for him.”_

_“That’s the first time you ever said his name.”_

_“Yeah, I try not to think about him while I’m here.”_

_“Did you love him?”_

_“What?”_

_“Did you love him?”_

_“He was my boyfriend! Why wouldn’t I love him?”_

_“What did you love about him?”_

_That question made Jade think. She did love Beck, but what did she love about Beck specifically? Just saying she loved Beck made her satisfied. She was terrified of the details._

_But she couldn’t lie to Faith._

_“I loved how powerful I was with him. How all those thirsty bitches hated me because I had what they wanted. I loved that I had an escape from my mother, and I could go to his RV anytime. I loved how warm he was.”_

_Faith looked confused. “You loved him…for his warmth?”_

_Jade could feel her tears well in her eyes._

_“When we made out, I wanted to love it. I wanted to enjoy him kissing me, but I couldn’t. I felt numb. I liked his body heat on top of me. But I kept thinking ‘_ Do you actually like his body, or just being warm?’ _And when sex came up, that broke everything. It’s one thing if I wasn’t ready, but I didn’t know if I would ever be ready for him. I told myself the next time he wanted to that I would do it. Because…I loved him.”_

_Jade started to cry. Faith reached over to squeeze her hand._

_“This isn’t the first time we’ve broken up. We get back together almost instantly. But…but…” she pushed herself through her tears, “but I don’t know if I want that anymore. Why don’t I want that? He’s perfect! What’s wrong with me? Am I broken? Am…I…”_

_Jade was now fully bawling. Faith held her in her arms as she cried into her shoulder._

_“J, you are not broken. You are absolutely not broken. There are so many hot guys out there and several of them won’t be for you. Trust me. It’s not your fault.”_

_Jade still cried in her arms._

 _“Sorry if this isn’t helping” Faith apologized. “I’m trying to be Robin Williams in_ Good Will Hunting _, but this isn’t really my forte.”_

_“It’s okay” Jade sniffled._

_“What will help you right now?”_

_Jade silently contemplated. Faith rubbed her shoulder as she thought._

_Finally, Jade said “Tell me about Boston.”_

_Faith was taken aback._

_“What?”_

_“Tell me why you left Boston.”_

_“J—”_

_"I bared my dark secret to you. It’s fair if you do the same.”_

_Faith looked down at Jade. Her eyes were red and glassy, both from the pot and the crying. She looked so vulnerable, like the side Faith tried hiding for so many years._

_She sighed. If Faith were to show her vulnerable side to anyone, it might as well be Jade._

_“It’s a long story.”_

_“I’ve got time.”_

_Jade shifted closer into Faith’s body. She could hear Faith’s heartbeat under her ear._

_“Okay” Faith said._

_“My childhood wasn’t great. My mom died when I was young because her liver couldn’t keep up with her alcoholism. Never expected to have a mother again, since the only women who’d ever touch my old man were the hookers his unemployment checks could afford. He was every deadbeat dad stereotype you could think of—drunk, addict, horny, and most importantly a bad parent. Less of a person and more like the countless flies we had in our apartment. He never knew I existed, until he needed me to cook dinner or I made him mad. After his sixth beer of the day, he’d hit me. I couldn’t defend myself; I was just a kid. I tried telling people, but they never believed me. They thought I was a troublemaker just because I was poor. They didn’t understand that I had to get myself in trouble to survive. Most of the groceries we ate were stolen. By the time I could drop out of high school, I did and worked full-time at the convenience store across the street._

_That’s when I met Brad, the only person who was ever nice to me. He was my manager and we hit it off right away. Lost my virginity to him. He asked if I wanted to move into his apartment upstairs from the store, and I said yes. It was great for a while, being away from dad and living on my own._

_Then Brad started smoking crack. It wasn’t bad at first, but over time it gradually became more intense. He owed money to some of Boston’s most notorious. His manager and my minimum wage weren’t cutting it anymore. So, one day Brad told me ‘Faith, let’s put you into a job you’d be really, really good at.’_

_He wanted me to prostitute myself and he would be my pimp. And I said yes._

_I basically worked the store all day and the streets all night. It wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t horrible either. Brad and I were both tough enough to stop the clients from going off the rails. Anything was better than what my life was before._

_Then one day, I finished my shift early and headed back to the apartment. I found Brad mid-coitus with another woman. He got mad at_ me _for interrupting his adultery. We broke up, and he fired me from the store. I spent the next day homeless, sleeping in a freezing-ass alleyway._

 _But I didn’t stay homeless for long. The next morning, I woke up, and my body was tingling with power. I’m thinking_ where the fuck did this come from? _Suddenly, a brick comes falling from a four-story window. On instinct, I held my hands up in defense, and the brick splits in half. So_ now _I’m thinking_ holy shit, I’m fucking Wonder Woman. _To make everything else even more confusing, this wicked strait-laced man walked up to me and said he could answer all my questions. Now I’m fucking terrified at this point, but my day couldn’t get any crazier, so I go with him._

_After explaining how every generation has a slayer to protect the world from darkness, it turns out that I’m the next one and this guy is my watcher. He realized that I have nowhere to live, so he let me stay with him. He said there’s no need for repayment as I’m already saving the world, but I didn’t want to be a moocher. So, while I’m training and fighting vampires, I’m also still a sex worker. My watcher wasn’t proud of the way I made my money, but he couldn’t stop me, so I did._

_The other hookers weren’t too fond of me at first, calling me “Pat’s girl,” since they all knew my father very well. But after a couple of weeks, we started getting along. When I wasn’t patrolling the graveyards and cemeteries, I was hanging out with them at the local bars. We got stone-cold_ plastered _every night, it was insane. A lot of the men in the bars thought it was funny when we were so drunk that we’d kiss each other. I only did it if they paid me, and I got paid a_ lot. _I locked lips with about every prostitute in the greater Boston area._

_Then…there was this one girl…Kayla. She was so beautiful it was ridiculous. I ended up kissing her every night. Those horny bastards thought it was so hot when Kayla and I kissed. And I didn’t mind it, since Kayla and I were the closest out of the workers. She’d always laugh and compliment me on how great of a kisser I was, which made me blush._

_One night, I walked out the back exit for a smoke break, and Kayla followed me. I was about to ask, ‘What are you doing?’ but then she kissed me. It wasn’t like the pecks we gave for fun, but an actual movie-style kiss. I didn’t know what shocked me more, her kissing me or me kissing her back._

_I…I don’t even know to describe it. Calling it ‘magical’ sounds cheesy as fuck, but it was. I’ve never experienced something like that, not with my johns, not even with Brad. I just wanted to kiss her forever._

_This went on for months, Kayla and I kissing. Then things became more serious when we started fucking. It was obvious why Kayla was so popular because she was amazing in bed. I’ve always liked sex, but I never realized how mind-blowing it is when you’re doing it with someone you love._

_And that’s when it hit me. I was in love with Kayla. I didn’t want to put a label on anything, but it made my life so much more sense. I slept with Brad to get away from my father, and I slept with my johns to earn money. Sleeping with Kayla didn’t have a reason. The only one I could think of was because I loved her._

_But it wasn’t perfect. Kayla had a boyfriend. She told me all the time that she wanted to break up with him, but she never did. She would leave me right after we fucked._

_My last night in Boston started like any other, drinking at the bar. On my third beer, Kayla came up to me and said, ‘My boyfriend is out tonight. Let’s go back to his place so I can eat you_ _out.’ How could I say no to that?_

_On the way to his apartment, we started crossing the old streets of my neighborhood. I thought it was funny how her boyfriend lived so close to my childhood home. When we went inside the same building, got off on the same floor, and entered the same door, I realized to my horror that her boyfriend was my old man. Not a chance in Hell were we fucking in his bed. I suggested that we do it on the other bed in the apartment. Mine. We started fucking and it’s awesome as usual._

_Then daddy dearest entered the apartment with a freshly bought six pack. He found me and Kayla naked and lost his shit. He pried Kayla out of the bed and started beating her. She bled out of every orifice on her face. That’s when I stepped in and tried kicking his ass. Now that I had my slayer powers, I could defend myself and protect Kayla from dying. Dad was surprised that I fought back, but he still went hard. Eventually the fight was so bad that I threw him down two flights of the building’s stairs._

_I remember his bone poking out of his arm. I remember him screaming ‘No daughter of mine is a dyke’ and shit like that. I also remember Kayla running down those stairs and helping him up, even though he almost killed her. She was furious with me and told me ‘never to see her again.’_

_I ran out of the building and sprinted to my watcher’s apartment. I was full-on crying, and I needed someone to tell me everything would be okay._

_I got to the apartment too late. I opened the door to see my watcher mauled to death by a vampire. I had one job, and I failed. If I didn’t waste my time with Kayla, I could’ve saved him. But I didn’t, and I was alone again._

_I couldn’t stay in Boston anymore. The guilt was almost cannibalistic. My watcher used to say that I was wasting my talents in Boston, that there was more trouble in California. So, I looked through his old notes, found out that Sunnydale was the specific town he referred to, scrounged as much money I could find throughout the apartment, hopped on a plane, and the rest…is history.”_

_The silence hung over the two like the thick marijuana smoke. Faith took a dragged-out puff of the blunt, and slowly blew it out through her nose._

_“Sorry” finally said Jade. What else could she possibly say?_

_“What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything.”_

_"I’m sorry that you had to go through all that shit.”_

_“Well, it definitely made me stronger.”_

_“But you didn’t deserve any of it.”_

_“Jade, it’s the only life I know. If I keep pointing out how miserable it was, I might fucking kill myself.”_

_Another stretch of silence between them._

_“I’m also sorry for making you tell it.”_

_“It’s not your fault. Bound to come out eventually.”_

_Another stretch._

_“Is Sunnydale any better?”_

_“Oh, so much better. I’m putting my powers to good use, I’ve got a good deal on this room, I have friends, and,” Faith squeezed Jade’s torso to her chest, “I’ve got you. Also, Buffy and I killed the vampire who murdered my watcher, like, the first week I got here, so vast improvement, overall.”_

_Jade giggled. Her fingers trailed Faith’s side down to the pockets of her jeans. Faith’s hand scooped up Jade’s as they interlocked._

_“So…Kayla.” Jade said drolly._

_“What about her?”_

_“Is she…was she…like, the one?”_

_Faith looked at Jade playfully irritated._

_“J, did you listen to_ any _part of my story? Do I have to tell the fucking thing all over again?”_

_“No! No, that’s not what I meant!”_

_“What did you mean?”_

_“I mean…when you and she…did it…was it like, ‘oh, that’s it forever?’”_

_“Are you asking me if I’m gay?”_

_Jade could feel the heat creeping up her flush. “…Yeah.”_

_Faith half-smiled, her dimple prominent. “I am.”_

_“Oh.” Now Jade could feel the heat on her cheeks. She decided to be bold._

_“Is there…someone…here…that you like?” she asked._

_Faith fully grinned. She knew she had Jade in the palm of her hands._

_“Well, there is somebody I think is really cool.” Faith started playing with Jade’s blue and teal highlights. “She’s badass. She’s really funny. She doesn’t take shit from anyone. And,” she made sure Jade was looking right into her eyes, “I couldn’t imagine my life without her.”_

_Jade nodded wistfully._

_“I see” she said. “And when are you planning on telling Buffy your feelings?”_

_Faith’s eyes went wide and her mouth agape. She pushed Jade off and hit her repeatedly with a pillow, all while Jade cackled like a madwoman._

_“You little bitch!” Faith cried. “I hate you so much!”_

_“Better check yourself for bipolar disorder, because you were about to suck me off seconds ago!”_

_“You’re so gross!”_

_“I learn from the best!”_

_After more pillow hitting, Faith managed to pin Jade over the end of the bed. Once again, Jade was staring deep into Faith’s eyes. Instead of being so beautiful that they hurt, Faith’s eyes felt like home. Faith was home._

This is it, _Jade thought._ Faith and I are going to kiss. I’m not going to run away like last time. I want this. I actually want this.

_Jade watched as Faith slowly bent down, her head tilted slightly to the side. She closed her eyes and parted her lips. She could feel Faith’s hot breath on her face, their lips only centimeters apart—_

A loud knock came from the door.

“Faith?” asked Buffy. “Are you in there?”

Faith hung her head in defeat and Jade quietly cursed Buffy under her breath for breaking the illusion of their smoky paradise.

“Yeah, just a sec!” Faith shouted across the room. She rolled off Jade and whispered “ _hide_.” Jade crouched down onto the floor behind the side of the bed. She could hear the creaking of Faith opening her door.

“What’s up?” she asked Buffy.

“First of all, it smells like a Bob Marley concert in there.”

“It’s my Sunday. I don’t give you shit about your mall-brat lifestyle.”

“God, I missed your humor at the library today.”

Faith half-smiled.

“Anyways, I’m thinking about heading to The Bronze before we patrol. Want in?”

“Oh shit, it’s night already?”

“Yeah, and you better get your reflexes in check before we go out staking!”

Faith looked back into her room. She was torn about staying with Jade or hanging with Buffy.

 _Please pick me. Please pick me_ Jade prayed.

“The Bronze sounds five-by-five. Let me get my stuff.”

Jade swallowed hard.

“Is someone in there?” asked Buffy.

“No, the motel has a rat infestation. That's probably what you heard.”

“They should probably call someone or fumigate the rooms.”

“B, by the looks of it, do you think they actually care about this place?”

“…Point taken.”

Faith closed the door and walked over to her duffle bag of weapons. Jade peeked over the bed and watched Faith choose her stake and knife for the evening. Before she went, Faith dropped a small object on the table that made a tiny _clank_. She looked over at Jade, winked, and left the room.

Jade walked over to the table to see a key.

A spare key to Faith’s room.


	7. Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you so much for reading this far! It means so much to me :)  
> The rest of this story will now follow the plot line of the Buffy and Angel series. This chapter takes place in Season 3, Episode 7, "Confessions." There is some dialogue lifted directly from the episode in this chapter. So I will say that all rights belong to Joss Whedon and his production company.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter because SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REAL!

After the almost-kiss from their smoking session, the following week proved itself to be a trying time. Jade now had a key and Faith now had a phone. Neither of them touched their gifts.

Throughout the week, Jade maintained a constant inner panic attack. Whether she sat in class, sat at the lunch table by herself, or sat at home ignoring her mother’s rants about which book club member annoyed her _this_ month, her hands were clutched around her phone. Jade glowered at her home screen with the hunger of a lion in front of an antelope. She needed to remind herself to breathe because she was so tense. All day and all night long, she waited for her phone to light up with a text from Faith.

Jade knew that she had the choice to make the first move. Though the spare key was small and looked like any other key, she avoided it like the plague. So much fear hung over its metal ridged back. Jade thought the key would open Pandora’s box much more than it would open Faith’s door. The girls left each other on such a clumsy note, and neither wanted to explore the awkwardness. They were incredibly close to becoming more than friends, which now made them incredibly close to destroying it all. It was a risk both were too frightened to take, most of all Jade.

So, she waited for Faith to contact her. She now had the ability to talk to Jade anytime she wanted; they should’ve been glued to their phones for days on end. In a way, Jade was attached to her iPhone, but not in the way she wanted. She clicked on her home button countless times, hoping the refreshing would lead to a Faith message. Jade wished for anything, a _hi_ , a _thanks for the phone_ , or even—god forbid—one of those stupid emojis that made her cringe. All she wanted was for Faith to make the first move.

It was still the same story in Jade’s Thursday morning acting class with Mr. Erwin Sikowitz. He was an outlandish hippie who many believed the school should’ve fired years ago. He was also Jade’s favorite teacher. The weirdest faculty member of Hollywood Arts gave her a sense of comfort, and a much smaller sense of hope.

Today she thought of changing her opinion, however, when he didn’t show up for his class. The groggy students waited patiently in their chairs for the lesson to begin, but there was no sign of the teacher. Jade’s friends did find ways to pass the time. Andre tapped his pencils on his shoe rhythmically as he hummed a new song he wrote in his head. Robbie and Rex played Rock-Scissors-Paper, with Rex having a perfect score. Cat amused herself with her stuffed purple giraffe. Beck and Tori took turns sleeping on each other’s shoulders. And Jade sat hunched over her phone, testing to see if she had telepathy and could convince Faith to text her. Eventually, these distractions couldn’t suffice the students any longer.

“What’s taking him so long?” angrily cried Robbie.

“It’s been fifteen minutes!” complained Andre. “Do you know how many breakfast burritos I could have eaten by now?”

“At my old school, we had a rule that if the teacher didn’t show up, we could leave” offered Tori.

“Go ahead, nobody’s stopping you” said Jade.

“But what if he does show up?” asked Tori.

“That sounds like a 'you' problem” said Jade.

“No, my only problem is you” quipped Tori. Beck quickly stood up from his chair as he knew what was about to inevitably happen.

“YOU WANT TO SEE ‘PROBLEM’?” screamed Jade as she shot out of her seat. She stomped across the aisle to Tori, but Beck blocked her access.

Just as about things were to turn ugly, Sikowitz crawled out of the giant trash bin at the front of the room. He let out a bloodcurdling growl, causing all the students to scream in fright. Jade ran back to her chair. The trashcan fell to the floor and Sikowitz scurried out, leaving a trail of garbage behind him. He finally stood on his feet with a bright smile.

“Good morning students!” he greeted. “Hope you all are enjoying yourselves on this fine…” he trailed off to look over his shoulder at the calendar, “…Thursday morning! It is still morning, right?”

The students cautiously nodded their heads.

“Where were you?” asked Robbie, concerned.

Sikowitz chuckled. “I think it was pretty obvious where I was, Robbie” he said, gesturing to the trash bin.

“Yeah, but why though?” asked Beck.

“Well, I’m glad you asked, Beck.” He walked up to the whiteboard and wrote the letters C-H-O-I-C-E-S in red marker. He then smacked the board hard with his hand.

“CHOICES!” he yelled. “Choice is the most valuable tool that an actor possesses. It is his or her active decisions which brings their character to life. A good actor knows what choices are right for their character and what choices are wrong. And this can also apply to real life as well. For example, last night I treated myself to the milk of a coconut my colleague obtained from the Lacandon jungle. As you all know by now, coconut milk gives me visions and boy, oh boy they were delightful! I could describe their majesty to you in great detail, but in doing so will most likely melt your ears into piles of red blood and I don’t want your parents to sue me!” He laughed for quite a while until it awkwardly died down.

“Anyways,” Sikowitz continued, “as all visions do, they became much too violent and horny, so I hid myself inside this trash bin to ward them off.”

“Did it work?” asked Jade.

“Indeed, it did, Jade,” said Sikowitz, “although I had a craving to eat my big toe.” He stared off into the distance the same amount of time he laughed. Some students tried to look where he stared at.

“So, choices!” Sikowitz came to. “Let’s get two volunteers up here! Andre! Cat! Come on down and bring your tookuses with you!” Cat and Andre walked onto the makeshift stage in front of the classroom.

“Now, you two will be improvising in this scene” said Sikowitz. “Improv is nothing but choices. In this scene, both of you have fallen into a puddle of radioactive goo along with an animal. Andre, you have turned into a mutant snake person. Cat, you have turned into a mutant monkey person. And now you two must debate which one of you should be the next president. Action!”

As Andre and Cat acted like fools, Jade argued over her own choices that she could make.

 _What a very on-the-nose lesson_ she thought.

Staring down at the black screen yet again, Jade realized that she was being ridiculous. It was just a text! All this inner turmoil for a collection of words! If Faith didn’t plan to send the first text, what was to stop _Jade_ from doing so?

While Cat tried to climb up the wall to prove herself presidential, Jade sent her text to Faith.

_Jade: hey_

She quickly looked up from her phone as she heard the _thud_ of Cat’s body landing on the ground.

“Ow!” Cat cried in pain.

“Cat, that was wonderful!” exclaimed Sikowitz. “You just demonstrated what a horrible, horrible acting choice looks like!”

“I think I broke my tailbone!” Cat wailed.

“Nonsense Cat! You don’t have a tail!” argued Sikowitz. The class looked at each other, worried.

“Yeah, um…I’m just gonna take her to the nurse’s office” said Andre, dragging Cat by the arms.

“Alrighty then! So, now we need two more volunteers! How about the lovebirds?” Sikowitz pointed at Beck and Tori in the back.

Jade was about to roll her eyes 360 degrees around her head until her phone buzzed.

Faith had responded.

She responded with a photo.

A naked photo of herself.

Jade’s shriek was so loud the entire class turned to face her.

“Jade? Is there something wrong?” asked Sikowitz.

She forced every iota in her body to stop her face from turning any redder.

“No, there’s n-n-nothing wrong.” Jade stuttered. “I just need…” she started standing up from her chair, “…to, um…um…use the bathroom!”

Jade sprinted like a Boston marathoner to the nearby women’s restrooms. She plopped herself down on the floor of the vacant wheelchair stall. She crossed her legs tightly, bracing herself to look over Faith’s picture once more.

It wasn’t a full body shot, and Faith still had clothes on. She pulled down the neck of her tank top to reveal her naked breast. Her skin was soft and supple, and her pale pink nipple was hard. Her collarbone was deep, and her neck was pronounced, both covered in sweat. The top of Faith’s face was cut off, only showing her biting down her lower lip.

Jade had made several complaints in the past about men biting down their lower lip and thinking they looked cool. This was far from the case for Faith, as she was the hottest person Jade had ever seen. The several times she saw Beck in his underwear paled in comparison to Faith’s sexual demeanor. Jade could feel the arousal travel through her body. She wanted to touch herself right inside the stall but hesitated as to how sanitary it would be.

And yet here was Faith, practically begging her to act on her pleasure. To make her choice. Jade couldn’t wait until she got home. This was her equivalent to popping a boner in math class, a situation too obvious to ignore.

As Jade started to unbuckle her studded leather belt, she received another text.

_Faith: Sorry wrong number_

In seconds, the crushing disappointment canceled out Jade’s lust. The picture wasn’t for her. Faith wasn’t for her. She was seeing someone else while she toyed with Jade’s emotions at the same time.

 _How could I have been so dumb_? Jade thought. _Of course, Faith would never want someone like me_.

She was about to make use of the empty bathroom and cry her heart out until she realized what had happened.

_Jade: I’m the only contact in your phone. How can there be a wrong number?_

Faith sent back a winking emoji which made Jade roll her eyes in annoyance and relief.

It was by fate that the main water heater was on the fritz and Hollywood Arts would have to close their doors tomorrow to fix it. Now Jade had the perfect opportunity to visit Faith. On her drive to Sunnydale, she couldn’t help but imagine what would happen when she opened Faith’s door. She imagined Faith standing on the other side just to pull Jade by her sweater into a deep, ravishing kiss. She imagined grasping onto every part of Faith she could reach. She imagined Faith straddling her on the bed and staring her down with a starved look in her eyes.

When she imagined her hands exploring up Faith’s chest, Jade started to feel herself head off the deep end. As talented as she was, Jade could not drive her car one-handed, especially down the highway.

After she arrived in the parking lot, Jade took several deep breathes while looking into the rearview mirror. Even though she was obviously desperate and flustered, Faith didn’t have to know that. After her forehead sweating started to subside, Jade got out of her car.

She opened Faith’s door with her spare key to find four pairs of eyes on her.

Naturally, Faith was sitting on the edge of her bed playing with a knife. What surprised Jade was the older, formally dressed woman standing by the window.

“Oh goodness!” the woman gasped.

“Wow! Um…okay.” Jade tried gathering her thoughts. “I’ve come at a really bad time, probably shouldn’t have come at all, so I’m just going to head out now…”

“No, don’t go!” Faith stopped. “Gwen—”

The older woman, now monikered as Gwen, interrupted Faith with the clearing of her throat.

“…Ms. Post,” Faith corrected, “was just about to leave.”

Ms. Post gave a tight smile and outreached her hand to Jade.

“Gwendolyn Post” she introduced. “I’m Faith’s new watcher.”

“Oh. I’m Jade, Faith’s…” Jade trailed off as to what to call herself. She looked over at Faith, whose poker face didn’t give any clues. “I’m Faith’s friend” she settled on.

“Speak of the devil” Ms. Post turned to Faith with a coy smile. “We were just discussing why Buffy was allowed to have a social life as a Slayer, but now I see Faith has one too!” She gave a fake chuckle. “Well now that we’ve all gotten acquainted, Faith and I must bid you _adieu_.” Ms. Post squeezed past Jade out the door.

Jade closed the door behind her, and the girls stared at each other with exasperation.

“So that’s your watcher” Jade said.

“That’s my watcher” Faith repeated apprehensively.

“Are they all British?”

Faith chuckled. “Guess so. I think the whole Watcher’s Council is in England.”

Jade nodded, slowly walking up to the bed and sitting next to Faith. “How long has she been here?”

“Couple days.”

“And you haven’t neutered her yet?”

“Give it time.”

Jade laughed, but they both became silent just as quickly. They looked all over the room except at each other. It was the uncomfortableness that Jade had previously dreaded. She knew someone had to break the quiet since it couldn’t continue any further.

“Thank you” Jade finally said.

“For what?”

“For the picture.” Jade could feel her innards curl up the second the words left her mouth.

Faith was more amused, lifting her eyebrow up.

“You’re welcome” she replied.

“Y-y-you look good.” Jade stuttered. Her brain was screaming at her to stop talking.

“Thanks” Faith said. “I work out.” She then got up from her bed. “Speaking of which, I’m heading out.”

“But wait, I just got here!”

“I know, but it’s really important that I train right now. Some demon’s loose in Sunnydale looking for this glove which gives you all the power in the world once you wear it, so yeah, big fucking deal.”

Jade groaned. “So, I came out here for nothing?”

“No! Not at all!” Faith knelt by Jade. “I’m so glad you’re here. This demon dude is just a huge cock-blocker. Listen, when I’m done with training,” she lifted Jade’s chin to meet her eyes, “I’m coming right back here, and we can do whatever you want.”

Jade almost sighed into the heat of Faith’s hand, but Faith got up and went to grab more weapons.

“Are you sure you can’t stay longer?” asked Jade.

“Wish I could, but I'm pretty sure Post is about to melt down my door.”

“Why are you so okay with that frigid bitch?”

“She’s my watcher. She’s important to my Slayer training, and she’s here for a long time.”

“God, I’m going to have so much trouble getting used to her.”

“ _You’re_ having trouble?”

Faith walked out the door and left Jade alone in her apartment.

Hours passed. Jade was bored out of her mind waiting for Faith to come home. She alternated from looking at her phone to channel surfing on Faith’s 1990’s television set.

 _Now I know why Faith wanted to see my movies on VHS_ Jade thought.

But deep down, what Jade really wanted to do was snoop around Faith’s apartment. She wanted to know everything she could about her. Since Faith had no social media presence whatsoever, her apartment was a goldmine of information.

Before she could act on her urge, her phone buzzed with a text.

_Faith: Change of plans_

_Faith: At The Bronze rn. Post has me wigged to infinity_

_Faith: Wanna join?_

Jade wrote back.

_Jade: I don’t know…_

_Faith: C’mon J! You can’t be the only teen here who hates The Bronze!_

_Jade: But there’s vampires and Alabama Slammers!_

_Faith: And there’s also vampires and Alabama Slammers!_

_Jade: Faith!_

_Faith: I’ll get you an orange juice, you big baby! Come play pool with us!_

_Jade: Wait_

_Jade: Who’s us?_

_Faith: Me and Xander_

_Jade: Hard pass_

_Faith: J! Xander’s cool_

_Faith: Underneath his desperation and Axe body spray_

_Faith: There’s some cool in there_

_Faith: Trust me_

_Jade: I mean_

_Jade: I really want to stay here_

_Jade: On your bed_

_Jade: With you_

_Faith: Oh, I see_

_Faith: Sounds much more fun than The Bronze_

_Faith: I’ll be home ASAP_

_Faith: Just need to crack Xander’s balls into these holes_

_Jade: That was a reach and you know it_

_Faith: Want me to crack your balls?_

_Jade: Fuck yes_

Several more hours passed. The pink sky when she and Faith texted had turned black.

When her friend’s timelines were full of Beck and Tori’s couple selfies, Jade turned back to the television. When the only interesting channel became the nightly news, Jade was out of options.

Except for what she wanted.

At first, Jade found nothing. Faith’s nightstand drawer had nothing. There weren’t any scrapbooks or picture books that Faith kept lying around—which as Jade thought more about it wasn’t something Faith would likely do. Hell, all the books she did have were just used to hide her pot. She didn’t dare touch her clothes drawers as she felt like a prepubescent boy pouring over the hot girl’s underwear. Same went for her closet of weapons, as Jade believed Faith set a trap for stealers and demons.

The only other choice was to look under Faith’s mattress where she kept her sword. Jade lifted the mattress to see the aforementioned weapon, its blade glistening under the overhead lights.

She also found several scattered pieces of paper. Jade crawled under the mattress and grabbed them all. She then sat on the bed and started reading. None of them were dated, and it was difficult to make out Faith’s chicken scratch of her handwriting, but Jade managed to piece together the main ideas.

Especially the ones that made her heart speed up like a cocaine addict’s.

_She’s so fucking gorgeous I can’t stand it. I feel like a sap when I say it, but it’s true._

The smile Jade gave hurt her face, but she couldn’t help it. Faith _did_ like her! She talked about Jade the way she talked about Kayla. Jade laid back on the bed with pure giddy. She wanted to know more about what Faith thought of her.

_She’ll never love me back. I’m too damaged for anyone to love me, so why bother trying?_

As heartbreaking as the confession was, Jade smiled even wider. _Faith had the same doubts and self-hatred as me_! She thought. _How could we have been so stupid_?

She continued reading Faith’s notes.

_She keeps moping about her boyfriend. That vampire bastard doesn’t know how lucky he was._

Vampire? That was a funny way to describe Beck. Jade thought of him as many things, mostly ranging from “dick” to “asshole,” but never “vampire.” Yet what did she know about vampires? Faith was the expert here. And Buffy too, since she dated one as well.

Wait a minute.

_B thinks she’s the “sweet” Slayer, but I know she’s got an edge._

Jade’s chest tightened and her breath quickened. She read through the notes faster and faster.

_Buffy’s nose crinkles when she laughs and it’s the cutest thing._

_I love it when I call Buffy “B” because she hates it._

_How do I stop dreaming about Buffy so much?_

The last few notes were rough sketches of Buffy’s random body parts: eyes, lips, ears. Jade crumpled all the notes into one large ball and shoved them back under the mattress. She rocked back and forth on the bed, hyperventilating.

Faith liked _Buffy_. The whole time they spent together, when Jade was losing her mind over Faith, she was crushing on Buffy. She was never interested in Jade.

What was all this then? Why did she flirt with Jade so much? Why did she try to kiss her several times? Did Faith not want to be rude and tell Jade the truth? Was it because she didn’t want to break Jade’s heart?

And what about the photo? Was it possible that Faith _did_ have the wrong number? All this time, Faith and Buffy were an item and Jade was the oblivious third wheel.

Hot tears streaked down her cheeks. This pain was worse than Beck breaking up with her. At least there was some honesty on his end.

 _I can’t do it_ Jade thought. _I can’t do it. I need to leave. I need to go right now._

Just as Jade was grabbing her things, she heard a soft shuffling outside the room. The noise grew closer and closer. Jade dropped everything and reached for Faith’s mattress sword. She stood on guard as the noise reached the door.

Faith opened the door and immediately closed it, her back slouching against the wood. Her eyes were puffy and swollen. Her lips were spilt open and dripping blood onto the carpet. Cuts and bruises covered her entire face. She looked like she climbed through the Hell Mouth and back again.

“Hi” Faith said in her trademark husky voice.

Jade dropped the sword to the ground. Her face was frozen in shock.

“Oh my god!” she screamed. Jade ran over to the wall and pulled out a chair. She then went over to the door, grabbed Faith by the hip, and sat her down.

“Where’s the first aid kit?” Jade asked, trying to keep her voice calm but failing to do so.

“Bathroom” Faith mumbled.

Jade ran into the bathroom, opening every cupboard door and mirror inside. All she could find were loose toiletries scattered carelessly across the shelves.

“There’s nothing in here!” Jade cried. Nonetheless, she grabbed bandages, cotton balls, rubbing alcohol, and raced back to Faith with the supplies in her arms.

“Hold still” she said, kneeling in front of Faith and dabbing the alcohol into the cotton ball. “This will sting.”

“J, I’m fine.”

“You are absolutely not fine! Do you have a concussion too?”

“No, I don’t. Slayers heal fast.”

“But not fast enough apparently.” Jade rubbed the cotton ball across Faith’s cuts.

“Fuck!” Faith cried out.

“I told you this would sting!” Jade yelled, now frustrated. She put down the cotton ball and sighed into her hands. Faith looked down at her, forlorn.

“What happened to you?” Jade asked.

“Gwen.”

“Ms. Post?”

“She was evil.”

“I mean she’s a bitch, but evil might be a stre—”

“No, she was actually evil. She had the glove on and tried burning everyone alive.”

“Oh my god. The whole watcher thing was just a ruse to get the glove?”

“Pretty much.”

“Jesus Christ.” Jade began rubbing Faith’s face with the alcohol again. “So, what happened to her?”

“Buffy sliced off her arm and she burst into flames.”

Jade winced at the mention of the other Slayer.

“Did she hurt you?” Jade asked.

Faith paused.

“No, she didn’t” she finally said.

“So, what happened to your face?”

“Buffy beat me up.”

Jade stopped her cleaning. “Why would Buffy do that?”

“Because…I was about to kill her boyfriend.”

“The vampire?”

Faith nodded. “His name’s Angel.”

“How ironic.”

“He came back and we all thought he was evil because of what he did before. When Xander and I saw Giles knocked out in his office, I swore it was Angel. But he was trying to destroy the glove, and I was about to destroy him until Buffy—” Faith hissed at the return of alcohol’s stinging.

“Sorry” Jade apologized.

“It’s okay.”

They both sat in silence as Jade tended to Faith’s injuries. She didn’t lie; Faith healed fast. The swelling in her eyes started to go down, and her face was less bloody than before.

“Jade?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I’m an idiot?”

“Of course not. Why would you say that?”

“Gwen told me.”

“And she was a cunt, so why do you care?”

“Because she was right.”

“Faith—”

“I thought it was Angel. I knocked Buffy out to defend Post. B tried to tell me what was happening, and I didn’t listen. I—”

“Hey!” Jade grabbed Faith’s shoulders. She could see the tears welling up in Faith’s glassy eyes.

“You are not an idiot. She was a horrible woman who used you. It’s her fault, not yours. And you didn’t know about Angel, but that doesn’t make you an idiot. You just used your best judgement and it didn’t work out, and that’s okay.” She sighed, knowing these words were also a self-pep talk. “Everyone’s wrong about something. Here.” Jade handed Faith a Kleenex. “Wipe your tears off. Crying is going to hurt your cuts.”

Faith did so. “I’m sorry” she said after she was finished.

“Don’t apologize for crying.”

“No, I’m sorry that I wasn’t here. I’m sorry I didn’t call you or come home. I just found out that Angel was back, and it was all so sudden. And…and…I’m sorry that this wasn’t what you wanted. I know you came here for…something else…and I can’t give it to you.”

“Faith.” Jade held Faith’s face in her hands. “I totally understand. I wish you called me, but your face right now is your excuse.”

Jade sighed. What she was about to propose would hurt her more, knowing now that Faith wasn’t interested.

“Listen. How about we meet each other halfway? I can spend the night with you and make sure you’re okay. I don’t have school tomorrow, so I can stay with you for as long as you like.”

Their eyes met each other once again. Jade used to think Faith’s eyes were home. She’d be lying if she said that changed, but there was now a sense of uncertainty.

“Okay” Faith finally said.

After undressing and finding clothes to sleep in, they both got under the covers and Jade turned off the lights. Faith fell asleep instantly, snuggling up to Jade’s side and resting her head on Jade’s chest. Jade couldn’t but notice the shift in their usual positions. She had a much harder time falling asleep than Faith. With everything that she learned tonight, Jade didn’t know what would happen in the morning. The stress would keep her up all night, so she needed to change her train of thought.

She decided to look at Faith. Jade previously couldn’t make out Faith sleeping because of the darkness, but now she was closer than ever. The night hid most of Faith’s scars and bruising. What Jade noticed the most, however, was how peaceful Faith looked. Whatever drama Faith suffered in the day had disappeared from her face. As Faith moved tighter into Jade, her face became more relaxed, like Jade’s arms made her safe.

Jade figured that was enough gazing at Faith, so she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.

The tinny voices coming from the television woke Jade up, but she didn’t open her eyes. She didn’t want it to be morning. She didn’t want it to be the next day where she had to deal with the cold, ugly truth. If she still slept, it was still yesterday. It was still a time where Jade was ignorant about a girl that she liked so much it hurt. If she kept sleeping, nothing would change.

Her plan didn’t work as she felt a hand slap her sheet-covered body. Jade turned on her side to see who the slapper was. She opened her eyes to a fully dressed Faith, sitting up on the bed watching TV.

“Hey” Faith greeted.

Jade rolled back, rubbing her eyes.

“Please tell me it’s not morning” she groaned.

“It’s not morning. It’s 2:30 in the afternoon.”

Jade looked back at her in annoyance.

“I’m serious.” Faith said. “You’re, like, the heaviest sleeper I know.”

“Last night was intense. I needed the sleep to process it.”

“Wait, did something happen last night?”

Jade lightly slapped Faith back in response to her joke. Yet looking at Faith’s face, one would think she asked in earnest. Her face was almost healed. Only some dark bruising was a reminder of Faith’s earlier battle.

Jade remembered that she promised to stay with Faith until she was well, but it seemed that Faith was fine.

“So…do you want me to go?” Jade asked.

“Why? Where do you have to be?”

“Nowhere, but you seem…okay.”

“Yeah, but I’ve hardly seen you. Here.” Faith slid next to Jade and closed their side gap. “Watch this movie with me. I know jack shit about movie making, and since I figured you go to an art school, maybe you can tell me about it.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know. Anything.”

Jade looked at the screen to the movie Faith was referring to. It was a black-and-white noir, a film style Jade did study but never liked. It was also one of Beck’s favorite genres, and he made her watch them constantly while they dated.

She tried to figure what movie was onscreen, but then all the breath left her body when she felt Faith’s thumb stroking the top of her hand. The contact felt like lava and a lightning storm together in one. Jade shifted her eyes to Faith, but Faith was looking straight ahead at the movie. Before Jade could process what was happening, Faith started tracing lines and patterns into her skin.

 _What the hell is she doing?_ Jade thought. _Is she writing something on my hand?_

Jade looked down to see Faith’s index and middle finger softly rubbing her skin in a circular motion. What caught Jade’s attention was that Faith’s nails were now cut noticeably short.

_Why did she do that? It’s as almost if she…oh no._

Jade leapt out of bed, startling Faith. Her eyes bugged out of her head.

“Y’know,” Jade tried gulping the air back into her lungs, “I would love—I mean I totally want to spend the day with you, but um…I just…I need to change back into my clothes. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with your clothes! You dress really well—no! I meant I like your style, but I also like my clothes, and I can’t pull off the sexy Slayer look. No! I wasn’t trying to objectify you! You are sexy, but oh my god why am I still talking? I just…I need…I need your bathroom to change.”

Jade was sure that her cheeks were now permanently red from the monumental embarrassment. Luckily for her, Faith seemed to be charmed by Jade’s rambling.

“Go ahead,” she smiled, “Take your time, J.”

Jade quickly nodded her head in gratitude, scooped her pile of clothes off the floor, and hurried into the bathroom. She debated on whether how fast or how slow she wanted to dress, if she wanted to delay Faith’s advances any longer. After she tied the laces on her boots, she stared into the bathroom mirror she had grown so accustomed to.

 _You’re weak, Jade West_ she scolded. _You’re a pathetic little bitch who’s desperate for anyone hot in your life. How couldn’t you tell that Faith was into Buffy? Was your vagina blocking your brain? God, ever since Beck dumped you, you’ve been a steaming pile of garbage. But you always were one, weren’t you? Beck just distracted everyone from the fact you were, even yourself. You are nothing. You were always nothing. Nobody will ever love you, not your parents, not your friends, not Beck, and certainly not Faith. Who would love a fuck-up like you? Who would love—_

“Come in.”

Jade heard Faith’s voice from inside the bathroom. Unless somehow the characters in the movie magically transported into the real world, someone else was in the apartment. Jade cracked the bathroom door open to see who it was.

It was hard to tell at first, since Jade had only seen her in her Slayer outfits. But she soon understood that the person who walked into Faith’s apartment was Buffy. Her hair hung down to a medium level cut. She wore a docile dress and cardigan and carried a purse. Jade never realized how preppy Buffy was outside of her work.

“Hi” said Buffy.

Faith didn’t answer back.

“The place looks nice” Buffy tried again.

“Yeah, it’s real spottin’” said Faith.

A moment of silence hung between them both.

“How are you?” Buffy asked.

“Five-by-five.”

“I’ll interpret that as good.”

Jade could hear Faith turning the page of a newspaper in response.

“Look,” Buffy continued, “Gwendolyn Post or whoever she may be had us all fooled. Even Giles.”

“Yeah. Well, you can’t trust people. I should have learned that by now.”

“I realize that this is going to sound funny coming from someone who spent a lot of time kicking your face…but you can trust me.”

“…Is that right?”

“I know I kept secrets, but I didn’t have a choice…I’m on your side.”

“I’m on my side, and that’s enough.”

“…Not always.”

“Is that it?”

Buffy looked around, trying to think of what more to say.

“…Yeah, I guess” she settled.

“Alright. Well then, I’ll see ya.”

They both stared at each other for a long time. Eventually, Buffy started to head back to the door.

“Bu-Buffy!” Faith said.

Buffy turned around. “Yeah?” she asked hopefully.

“…Nothing.”

Her face fell and she finally walked out the door.

Watching the whole exchange made Jade furious. She burst out from the bathroom to confront Faith.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL?” she screamed. “That bitch literally _kicked your face in_ —her words, not mine—and you _still_ want to bone her?”

“J, what the fuck are you talking abou—”

“Do not call me J right now! I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but you’re fucking sick!”

Faith threw down her newspaper and stood up from the bed. She tried the imitation tactic she did before in the cemetery, but Jade kept going.

“So, what, y-you pick up some random girl in the bar and you decide to fuck with her fragility? Am I a joke to you?”

“Jade—”

“All this time you were in love with Buffy. All this time, and you still flirted with me.”

Faith’s face fell into silent shock.

“How did—” she tried asking before Jade interrupted her again.

“I read the notes. Don’t fucking try to play dumb with me now.”

“My notes?”

“The ones under your mattress. How you said every time you looked at Buffy you wanted to die.”

“Jade! Those were written months ago!”

“Why should I believe you? You don’t trust Buffy anymore, so why should I trust you?”

“Because I’ve changed. I’m not—”

“I was crazy for you.” Jade could feel the tears on her face, but she didn’t care. “I was losing my mind. You were the first girl I ever thought of that way and it made me insane. Here you are, this tough, gorgeous chick who doesn’t take shit from anybody. You are everything I wanted. And when you touched me or winked at me, I wanted to fucking eat you alive, but I was too scared. And then I thought you wanted me too, and my entire world changed for the better. But you lied to me. You fucking lied to me and made me a fucking clown. You’d rather love someone who hurts you and fucks vampires instead of me, and that’s why I fucking hate you! I fucking hate you Faith! You’re as fake as all the wannabe actors in L.A.! I thought you were different, that you were the only person who understood me! Who actually loved me for me! But why the fuck would you?”

Jade hurriedly grabbed her stuff and bolted out of Faith’s motel room. She walked to her car, not bothering to wipe the tears off her heated face.

Faith ran from her apartment, trying to catch up to Jade.

“Jade! Stop!” she yelled from across the parking lot.

“No!” Jade pointed her scissors at Faith. “Leave me the fuck alone!”

Jade was about to get into her car when Faith caught up to her, grabbing her shoulders.

“Jade—”

“Let go of me!” Jade turned around to stop Faith, but Faith was stronger. She grabbed Jade’s wrists and the scissors flung out of her hands, sliding across the black asphalt.

Jade struggled under her grip, thrashing, and yelling, her hair flailing across her face.

Then Faith pinned Jade against the door of her car. From her position, Jade was forced to stare into Faith’s face. It was then she saw something much too familiar in Faith’s eyes. She saw desperation. She saw the tiredness and the exhaustion of life beating her down. Jade saw all the emotions she herself carried for so many years, two broken girls trying to make their way into a world that did not welcome them.

As they gazed longer and Jade’s breathing cooled down, she saw something else shine in Faith’s eyes. It was something that Jade couldn’t put into words but knew all too well. It was the same feeling Jade had whenever Faith smiled at her or told her how amazing she was. Jade then knew what the feeling was.

It was wanting.

It was love.

It was enough for Faith to close the gap between them and kiss Jade right then and there in the motel parking lot.


	8. I'm Saving The World For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're only reading my fic for the smut, it's now your time to shine. Consider this a smutty, smutty one-off. Also, this is my first time writing smut, so please be kind!

The first kiss Jade ever had was with Beck. It was their first year at Hollywood Arts. They both knew about the other, but never spoke outside of their classes. Then Sikowitz paired them together to rehearse a scene and perform it in two weeks. They decided that they would rehearse at Beck’s house because everyone assumed Jade lived in an open grave. As they worked in Beck’s RV over the next few days, they figured out what amazing chemistry they had together. At first, they both assumed it came from the characters. Then they realized it was more than that. On the night before their scene was due, Beck offered to drive Jade home. Jade was surprised since her mother usually picked her up. Beck surprised her even more when he walked her to her door after he parked the car. The minute Jade’s finger left her doorbell, Beck swooped in and kissed her. It was short, but Jade can still remember the softness of his lips and his recently minty breath thanks to the Tic Tac he popped earlier. Beck left abruptly before Jade’s mom could answer the door and invite Beck inside for dinner. Her mother then noticed how bewildered Jade looked. She asked what was wrong, to which Jade replied with “Nothing.” Not in the mood for anymore prodding, Jade’s mother went back inside to take the pot roast out of the oven. Jade followed suit, but not before turning sheepishly behind her, remarking on the life-changing event that happened seconds ago. She would dream about the kiss later that night, and the next morning she and Beck would start going out.

As important as that kiss was, Jade knew that Faith’s kiss left Beck’s in the dust.

At first, Faith was rough. Clutching Jade’s wrists tightly, her mouth grasped at whatever semblance of Jade’s lips she could find. The weeks of yearning took over her better judgement.

Jade, however, noticed Faith’s roughness. Though she expected Faith to kiss her, the forcefulness of Faith’s technique still surprised her. Jade’s eyes widened from the shock of it all, and she moved her head around to get Faith to stop. Faith took the hint, stopped, and let go of Jade’s wrists.

There was a split second of shame and regret in Faith’s eyes until Jade kissed her back, slow and soft, cupping Faith’s face in her hands. Faith then understood that Jade just wanted her to be less aggressive and _not_ stop kissing her altogether, so she decided to follow Jade’s pace.

The kisses were long and lingering. Jade wanted the feeling of Faith’s lips on hers as much as possible. It wasn’t that Faith’s kisses felt unbelievably amazing. They felt _right_. When she and Beck used to make out, Jade used to wonder if there was something more to kissing him. With Faith, she realized that his kisses never felt normal. Faith felt normal. Faith felt right.

Faith and Jade were so wrapped in each other, they didn’t care that they were making out in a public parking lot. In fact, Jade even forgot that Faith pinned her body against her car. She remembered when she felt herself tipping backward onto her hood. Jade yelped and Faith caught her before her body touched the steel. Jade laughed as Faith pulled her up. Faith couldn’t resist laughing with her. They continued kissing, though Faith’s hands were now farther down Jade’s back, protecting her from falling again.

As their kisses progressed, Faith’s hands slowly snaked lower down Jade’s back. She could feel Jade’s uneasiness as to what might come next. When Faith’s hands reached the small of Jade’s back, she stopped their kissing. She rested her forehead onto Jade’s and stared deeply. Her eyes kept saying _Trust me_.

This was still all new to Jade. As much as she wanted Faith, she didn’t know how to be good for her. She thought slow and steady would win her the race. However, Jade wanted this for so long, and she figured Faith knew what she was doing. So, she slightly nodded her head in consent. That drew a wicked smile on Faith’s face.

Jade didn’t have a second to think before Faith quickly nipped her lower lip. Jade was about to gasp at the sudden pain before Faith closed the gap again. And then, in one swift motion, Faith grabbed Jade’s thighs and pulled them up to her hips without breaking the kiss. Thanks to her slayer powers, Faith had the strength to hold Jade while they made out.

The amount of arousal that coursed through Jade’s body was indescribable. As she wrapped her legs around Faith’s torso, her tongue swirled inside Faith’s mouth, tasting everything that it could possibly reach. Jade never felt this desired in her life. When her hands fondled Faith’s pulsing biceps, her breathing became heavier and heavier. All of Faith’s strength was for her. Every kiss and touch were just for her. Jade became so turned on that a low growl accidentally slipped out, which embarrassed her.

What she didn’t realize was that the growl stirred something fierce inside of Faith. Hearing how much Jade was aroused by her, she felt her lower half shift. On instinct, Faith bit down on the side of Jade’s neck. Jade moaned softly while Faith sucked on her sensitive skin and circled it with her tongue.

After she felt satisfied with the hickey, Faith’s lips traveled up Jade’s neck to the back of her ear. It was a pleasure point for Jade, and she had to stuff the collar of Faith’s shirt in her mouth to stop herself from screaming. Faith kissed and nipped at Jade’s ear until Jade stopped her by holding her face in her hands.

“Bed.” Jade whispered in a stern, gravely voice. “Now.”

Faith winked, then attacked Jade’s lips. Carrying Jade, Faith headed towards the motel room, making out with her along the way. With each step she took, their kissing became increasingly aggressive, covered in the fervor of what was to come. Jade fully threw herself into tasting Faith, her eyes closed in pleasure. Faith, on the other hand, had to keep her eyes open so they could make it to her room safely.

When Faith eventually kicked open the unlocked door, Jade became engulfed with want. She tightly gripped Faith’s back, her nails digging into the shirt material. As they finally made it to the bed, Faith slowly lowered Jade’s body onto the mattress, their lips connected the entire time. Faith then broke their kiss to view a flustered yet giddy Jade below her.

It was a position both had become familiar with. Jade gazed up at Faith, her lips puffy and glistening. Faith did what she wanted to do several times before, lowering her body onto Jade’s and kissing her with glorious passion. The warmth of Faith’s body was electric instead of just warmth, what Jade had only known most of her life. She wanted Faith’s electric warmth to enrapture her, to feel the skin-on-skin contact their pesky clothes were preventing.

Faith then laid her knee on the bed and Jade shifted farther away to allow more room. Slowly Faith crawled her way onto the bed, having Jade move until her back touched the bed frame. Already predicting the next step, Jade reached for the bottom of her shirt until Faith grabbed her hands and stopped her.

“Wait” she urged Jade.

“What?” Jade asked, slightly impatient.

“I need to know that you’re okay with this.”

Jade looked at Faith confused.

“…Again, what?”

“Look, I’m 99% sure you want to do this, but I need to hear you say so. It’s just knowing what happened between you and Beck, I…I don’t want to push you into doing anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“Faith, I’m fine! Beck was different!” Jade then changed her tone into a more seductive one. “You’re so much better.”

She tried to kiss Faith, but Faith pinned her back down onto the mattress.

“Jade.” Faith spoke with the power of a dominatrix. “I need you to say yes.”

Jade stared at her in awe, gulping from the unexpected dynamic shift.

“Yes. I want this.”

“Are you sure? You don’t sound sure.”

“No, I’m just stunned and incredibly turned on by your power top vibes.”

Faith chuckled and loosened her grip.

“Have you ever done this before?” she asked.

Jade shook her head.

“Not with a woman or not with anyone?”

“The second one.”

“Okay.” Faith lifted Jade’s shoulders so they could face each other. “I’m usually pretty dominant when I fuck, but for you, I’m going to go easy. Just tell me what feels good,” she kissed Jade’s left cheek, “what doesn’t feel good,” she kissed Jade’s right, “and if you need to stop,” she kissed Jade’s lips. “We can stop anytime you want. I won’t get mad at you. You understand?”

Jade nodded, only to be met with Faith’s disapproving face.

“Yes, I understand!” Jade said exasperatedly, which made Faith laugh and pull her into a long kiss.

Jade, not waiting anymore for them to start, grabbed the bottom of her sweater and tried pulling it over her head, while Faith unbuttoned her shirt. What Jade didn’t think through was that Faith wouldn’t be able to kiss her with her sweater over her head. So, Jade tried kissing Faith through the wool, which made Faith squeal at the strange lip-creature coming at her. Faith then helped Jade take off her sweater, and just as swiftly disrobed herself.

Jade then realized that Faith had anticipated for this to happen. Faith was not wearing a bra, while Jade wore a black lace DD cup.

“Umm…” Jade awkwardly mumbled. “Obviously, I didn’t—”

Faith, now becoming infamous for her stealth kisses, interrupted Jade by closing the gap and reaching behind her. With only two fingers, she undid the hooks of Jade’s bra. It slumped on her shoulders and Faith swiftly tossed it aside with the rest of their discarded clothes.

She kissed Jade under her ear as she rubbed down the tension in her shoulders. Her mouth traveled down to Jade’s throat, which caused Jade to moan softly and lift her head up against Faith’s lips. Faith continued downwards, leaving another hickey at the bottom of Jade’s neck and bite marks on her collarbone.

Her lips slowly trailed down Jade’s skin until she was between her cleavage. She grabbed Jade’s silky, supple breasts and lightly kneaded them. A low groan erupted from Jade’s throat and Faith caught it in another kiss. Jade’s fingernails clawed Faith’s back, who hissed from the pain. To get even, she bent down to lightly bite Jade’s nipple. Jade’s yelp then turned silent as Faith’s magic tongue lapped around the bud, making her squirm. As she did the same to the other nipple, Jade whimpered impatiently.

Faith looked up at her with wicked eyes. Her lips left Jade’s breasts and trailed their way down Jade’s stomach. Jade then fell back against the pillows, covering her face in her hands. She knew what was about to happen next.

Faith managed to unbutton and unzip Jade’s jeans, though not as smoothly as when she unhooked her bra. The only clothing Jade now had on was her matching black lace panties. Faith lowered herself between Jade’s legs. She started from the left thigh, kissing upwards at a tantalizingly slow pace. When she came close to Jade’s center, she kissed it through the lace. As she removed Jade’s panties, Jade lowered herself onto her elbows, biting down her lip _hard_ to not let any other noises come out. She was nervous because she didn’t shave and thought Faith would be disgusted by her pubic hair. Faith, without hesitation, swirled her tongue around the short strands.

Then she started kissing Jade’s right thigh.

“Oh my god!” Jade shouted. “Could you please just get to—OH MY GOD!”

Faith interrupted Jade’s frustration with a long lick up her clitoris. She went to work right away, mouthing and licking Jade’s pink flesh.

“A little to the right” Jade directed, and Faith followed. “A little slower and just push down as hard as you ca—OH GOD that’s it!”

All the blood in Jade’s body felt magnetized, rushing down to where Faith was the attractor. Her lower half had never felt this tense. She writhed under the power of Faith’s mouth. The way she reacted to Faith eating her out almost embarrassed her. It was even more humiliating when Faith had to hold down Jade’s hips because she squirmed too much.

It brought Jade out of her ecstasy. _Am I doing something wrong?_ she thought. But then she looked down at Faith between her knees. Just the sight of Faith in that position made Jade hot, but there was more. All Jade could really see was the top of Faith’s head. Her mouth was deep inside Jade’s folds and her eyes were shut closed. One hand left Jade’s hip and clutched the bedding. Jade could also see Faith humping the mattress. She then realized that Faith was _into this_. She was into pleasuring _Jade_.

And that idea spurred Jade on even further. She had to grab a loose corner of a sheet and shove it in her mouth from crying too loud. Faith looked up at the sight and laughed on Jade’s clitoris, the vibrations making Jade cry even more.

“I think you’re ready for the next step” Faith concluded.

Jade nodded hard, not wanting to take out her makeshift gag.

While keeping herself on Jade’s clitoris, Faith slowly slipped her index finger inside Jade’s vagina. This was not a new sensation for Jade, as she has done it to herself in the past. But another person’s hand inside her felt unfamiliar. Her walls concaved around Faith’s finger, causing her lower half to pulse even harder. Jade loved feeling filled.

Faith then added another finger and started pumping. Jade screamed into the sheets. This went on for a while, Faith pumping and alternating between her thumb and her tongue on Jade’s clitoris.

Suddenly, it all became too much for Jade. She could feel her orgasm building up. Just as it was about to tip over, Jade spit out the sheets and let herself cry aloud. The waves of her orgasm rippled all over her body. Her vaginal walls clenched around Faith’s fingers, which made Faith even more wet. As Jade shivered, Faith’s mouth slowly crawled back up her body. Jade moaned from the soft kisses Faith left over her sensitive skin. Faith then reached her mouth and kissed her deeply. Jade knew she was tasting herself on Faith’s lips, but she didn’t care. Because it was Faith, it was hot no matter what.

Faith laid on her side and snuggled up to Jade. Both were breathing heavily and glossy with sweat.

“That…” Jade huffed, “…was amazing.”

Faith grinned. “I know.”

Jade lightly slapped her shoulder. Faith kissed her cheek and started getting up from the bed. But Jade grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss.

“Now it’s your turn” she lamented.

Faith pulled herself away from Jade’s lips.

“Jade,” she said. “That was all for you. You don’t have to do anything.”

“But I want to make you feel good, the way you made me feel.”

Faith gulped. She hung her head low and tightly grabbed Jade’s shoulders.

“God, you know I want that so badly. But I don’t want to push you into something you can’t handle.”

Taking that as a challenge, Jade swooped down for another kiss. Both grasped at each other’s faces.

“Let’s do this,” Jade said, trying to pin Faith down on the bed. Having severely less upper body strength than Faith, she failed. Faith laughed and laid herself down.

“Now try to remember what I did to you” Faith guided.

Jade slightly nodded. She kissed Faith while grabbing her breasts. Ever since Faith sent her that picture, Jade wanted to know what her tits felt like under her hands. Faith growled, pressing Jade’s body down hard onto hers. Jade quickly kissed Faith’s torso, tasting her tan skin. She knew Faith was impatient, so she tried going as fast as she could.

She kissed Faith’s stomach right above her jeans. She fumbled with unbuttoning the jeans as much as Faith did with hers. She pulled them down to find a wet, ready pussy. It took Jade off guard. Sure, she was familiar with the inner workings of a vagina, exploring her own during puberty. But looking at another woman’s vagina was almost like a puzzle.

Jade thought she could delay the situation the same way Faith did—by teasing her. Jade started kissing at the base of Faith’s thigh, but Faith grabbed a fistful of Jade’s hair, lifting her head up. Jade let out a guttural groan from deep inside at the new sensation.

“Not a fucking chance” said Faith.

She drew Jade close to her pussy. Jade realized she had no other choice but to start licking. Faith moaned at Jade’s long, exploratory licks. Then Faith started guiding her to specific spots where she liked being touched. Jade didn’t know if eating out was her thing, but she liked hearing Faith groan from her tongue.

After several minutes, Jade’s jaw began to hurt. She knew Faith wasn’t close yet, but she didn’t know much longer she could go. So, Jade decided to add fingers to the situation. She was about stick her digit inside Faith when she looked down at her hand.

“Um…” Jade stammered.

“What?” asked an annoyed Faith, sweating and red in the face. Jade held up her hand to show off her recently manicured, long black nails. Faith bit down on her knuckle to prevent her from saying anything harsh.

“Okay.” Faith sat up. “Maybe I can help.”

She reached down and instantly stuck two fingers inside herself. It was a game of Jade’s tongue and Faith’s fingers not getting in the way of each other. As time went on, Jade started feeling exhausted. Then she heard Faith repeating her name over and over. Then Faith grew louder. It wasn’t until Faith arched her back and screamed “JADE!” that Jade knew what happened. Faith removed her now dripping fingers. Jade put them in her mouth and swallowed the juice off them.

She started kissing her way up Faith’s body, but immediately fell on top of it, out of breath.

“I can’t…feel my mouth” Jade said.

Faith laughed and wrapped the sheets around them. She lifted Jade’s chin up and kissed her tenderly.

“Thank you for doing that” said Faith.

“Was I…was I good?”

Faith kissed Jade harder. “You were so good. So, so good. Better than what I planned to do.”

“What was that?”

“Well…when I fuck, I usually use…assistance. And I have some in the closet over there.”

“Like, dildos?”

“Oh definitely! Every size, length, and color. I didn’t think you’d be ready for them.”

“Well, maybe next time.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Faith kissed her once more. Feeling drained of energy, Jade and Faith both closed their eyes and fell asleep.

Hours later, Jade awoke to Faith’s gentle nudging.

“J.”

Jade opened her eyes to the whole room painted sunset orange. She looked up at Faith, who had twinkling eyes and a lazy smile on her face.

“J, I’ve never done this before.”

Jade raised herself, stunned. A look of shock took over her face.

“Are-are-are-are you fucking with me right now?” she stuttered.

Faith laughed yet again and pulled Jade down onto her shoulder.

“J, I meant I’ve never cuddled with anyone before. I never had anyone stay before.”

Jade started to grin and leaned over to kiss Faith. She nuzzled herself in the dent of Faith’s collarbone. As they lazily laid in bed together, gazing each other, embracing how everything in their lives came together for this perfect moment, it dawned on Jade.

“I need to go” she told Faith.

Faith sat up. “Why?”

“It’s getting late. You need to go out soon.”

“So? I’ll come back. We’ll order some pizza, and maybe go for round two?”

Jade felt herself get excited, but then stopped.

“The last time you came home, you were a mess. And…I’m worried that next time…it’ll be worse.”

Faith rolled her eyes. “J, that was one bad night.”

“But what if there was ano—”

“Jade. Like I said, I’m fucking good at my job. The only person who can take down this slayer is another slayer, and Buffy regrets what she did. No one’s touching me. Besides,” she kissed Jade, “now I have you. I’m protecting myself twice as hard. I’m saving the world for you.”

Jade kissed Faith back. After the best compliment she ever heard, how could she not? But still, she doubled down.

“Faith, I’m sorry. I’m sure my mom is sick wondering where I am. I wish I could stay; _Jesus Christ_ I wish I could, but…I can’t.”

Faith sighed.

“Okay. Just text me back.”

Jade pecked Faith’s lips and climbed out of bed. Or at least she tried to, but Faith kept grabbing on her arm. Jade eventually made it out, Faith’s body slumped in defeat.

“Well, it was worth a shot.”

Jade giggled. “Believe me, when my mom’s out of town, I’m squatting here.”

“You better not be fucking lying.”

Both laughed. Jade put her clothes back on, searching around the room as to where they flew. Before she went out the door, she turned to Faith, still naked in bed. She ran up to her and kissed her passionately.

“Bye” she said against her lips.

“Bye” Faith repeated.

As Jade walked out of the motel room and into her car, she kept feeling guilt bubbling inside of her.

 _Push it down_ she told herself. _Push it all the way down. You made your choice._

She drove out of the parking lot and back to Los Angeles.


	9. How Could I Not Fall For You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaaaand we're back! Thanks to everyone who is still reading!
> 
> Beck is a drunk asshole in this chapter, so viewer discretion is advised

Though the day started fading over the stretch of highway, the world never looked brighter. As she drove home, Jade continuously rubbed her hands over the steering wheel, something she hadn’t ever done before. She needed to know how much her hands changed ever since they left the motel room. The last thing her hands touched was Faith’s impossibly warm, smooth, tan skin. They felt the echoes of Faith’s heartbeat and her pulsing blood stream. They held _Faith_.

And that’s not even worth mentioning how Faith held _her_. Jade squirmed in her seat, trying to relieve the soreness of her lower half. She cursed how long the drive between Sunnydale and Los Angeles was, prolonging her from reaching her bedroom sooner. Jade wouldn’t even mind going to bed early, just to relive Faith’s tender mouth on hers in her dreams.

At the thought of that, Jade could feel her stomach twist and she groaned. Not even giving a second of time for her body to heal, and she was still horny for Faith. All she could hope for was the _Welcome to Los Angeles_ sign to come into sight, letting her know how close she was to home. This drive was particularly boring, as Jade decided not to play any music on the way. She didn’t want to risk listening to a love song, having the lyrics either summing up her situation accurately or disastrous.

Finally, Jade pulled into the garage. She opened the door and shouted, “I’m home!” while standing in the living room. She waited for her mother to respond back.

But Jade knew her mother wouldn’t. She knew that her mother wasn’t home.

Friday night is what Ms. West dubbed as “fishing night.” She hopped the clubs on Sunset Strip, dressed in clothes for women twenty years younger than her, prowling for a new-date-turned-new-husband.

Jade dropped her body onto the leather couch and sighed. The guilt she tried ignoring on the highway at last weighed her down.

The excuse she told Faith wasn’t real. Jade could have stayed with Faith tonight.

So why didn’t she?

It was a question Jade mulled over the rest of her weekend. It was a questioned Jade avoided during her texts with Faith. Their conversations started out light, with Faith fact-checking Jade’s monster movie ideas, or Jade telling Faith the craziest stories about her friends or Los Angeles. Then Faith would say “I need you” or Jade would send a thirst trap. It would then turn into sexting and lewd pictures until the girls felt their bodies slip under them.

Faith always offered her place to Jade. Jade always declined.

But Faith never got upset, or never showed it at least.

_Faith: I know you’ll come back. You want this so bad._

Jade tightly crossed her legs. Fuck, Faith was right.

Hollywood Arts managed to fix their water heater just in time for the new school week, much to the chagrin of several students. That also included Jade. When she walked through the front doors, she kept her head down and concentrated on the floor tiling.

Ever since she and Faith had sex, Jade worried that she somehow gave off a “devirginized” vibe to the world. Whenever a student looked her way or passed her by in the halls, she wondered if any of them thought _Wow, someone boned her_.

 _But why am I so nervous about that?_ Jade thought. _I never cared about what anyone at Hollywood Arts thinks of me_!

Jade especially didn’t care of what her friends thought of her. Which was easy, since they stopped spending time together.

Just as she predicted, the group chose Beck and Tori over her. Jade was less hurt about the situation and more prideful about how she was right. Everyone chooses “easy” in the end.

Yet she couldn’t shake the feeling of loneliness during her lunch hour. The empty three benches around their circular table were now cold. Jade once again faced no one as she flipped her salad leaves over in boredom. It was also to keep her from looking at her friends’ table, all those lovable idiots sitting together, perfectly cohesive without her dragging them down.

As Jade stewed in yet another afternoon of wallowing, she heard a bag dropping onto the asphalt, and the soft rumble of someone sitting down on the other side of the table. Jade looked up and her face stilled. Her spork hung limply between her fingers.

Sitting down in front of her—someone that Jade never thought would—was Tori.

“I knew that you’d never say ‘yes’ if I asked to sit here, so…I just did it” she said.

Tori slightly curved one side of her mouth, looking down sheepishly. Jade kept staring at her. What was she doing here?

After a couple minutes of silence, Jade went back to poking her salad. She figured if she ignored Tori long enough, she would leave.

Tori instead started drumming her fingers on the table. That annoyed Jade too much to play the long game. She dropped her spork and held up her hands in surrender.

“Alright! Vega! What do you want?” Jade demanded.

Her words surprised Tori.

“Well…I…um…” Tori sputtered.

“Are you trying to say _William_ or are you just here to waste my time?”

“What’s there to waste?” Tori came back.

Jade shot out of her seat and curled her hand into a fist. She held it up, about to knock out Tori cold. In defense, Tori squealed and held her hands in front of her face.

“I’m sorry!” she cried. “I just want to talk about Beck!”

Jade stopped. She put her fist down and sat. She crossed her arms and waited for Tori to catch her breath and continue.

“Um, we’ve been going out for a couple of weeks…well, of course you know that. Everyone does.” Tori sighed. “So, when you two…dated, did he…did Beck…”

Jade sat up, fully alert as to what Tori had to say.

“What happened? Are you okay?” she asked.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m fine” Tori answered, surprised. “It’s just…okay, last Saturday, we went out for frozen yogurt, and, like, _five_ separate girls started flirting with him. Like, I was _right there_ , and these girls are just drooling all over him instead of their frozen dairy desserts!”

Jade slightly chuckled to herself. “Yep, that’s a date with Beck.”

“So that has happened to you, huh?”

“Sushi restaurant, Italian restaurant, taco truck, aquarium, planetarium, library…if a girl has a pulse, they find their way to Beck.”

“But that’s not even the worse part! The worse part Beck didn’t do anything! He let them flirt! I told him that I didn’t like it and he just said he was making conversation! It’s like he doesn’t know what the problem is, or he knows, and he doesn’t care, or…or…”

“He knows and he doesn’t care about _you_.” Jade finished.

Tori, now visibly flustered, looked over Jade. It was as if Tori saw her for the first time.

“Exactly” she said.

Jade slightly nodded.

“So, what do you do?” Tori asked.

“Well, there’s not much you can do. My trick was to wait until Beck started balding and I figured no one would even breathe on him.”

Tori awkwardly laughed. “I didn’t know you had to deal with it so much.”

Jade laughed with her. “I did. I told you guys all about it.”

“And what happened?” Tori continued to laugh.

“You called me jealous.”

Tori stopped laughing.

“Oh.”

“Yeah” Jade sarcastically nodded.

“Wow, Jade…I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

Jade looked over at her friend’s lunch table, not wanting to believe that Tori apologized to her for the first time ever.

“No one did” Jade said.

Tori looked over the table with Jade. They watched Robbie and Rex argue over something that both girls couldn’t hear.

“Where is the man of the hour anyway?” asked Jade.

“’Sick’” Tori said, quoting with her fingers.

“Ah, cramming for tomorrow's exam he forgot he had.”

“Speaking of, I’m having a study party over at my house tonight.”

“You mean an actual party which was supposed to be a study party but then someone brings booze, and everything goes downhill?”

“No! That’s not…” Tori sighed. “Yeah, that’s what will happen.”

“Well, god speed to you, I guess.”

“I’m inviting you.”

Jade was shocked.

“Why?” she asked.

“Why not?”

“No, Tori, I need an actual reason why you would ever want to invite me.”

“Because…it’s the polite thing to do?”

“Oh.”

“And it will be fun.”

“…I’ll think about it.”

“I really hope you show.”

“I said I’ll think about, Vega” Jade repeated more harshly.

“That’s all I could hope for, West.”

The bell rang and the students started leaving their tables, including Tori.

“Hey Tori!” Jade stopped her.

Tori turned back. “Yeah?”

“Listen, if Beck…if something happens between you and Beck, find me, okay?”

“Okay. But I don’t know where you live.”

“Then I’ll find you.”

“How would you—”

“Trust me. I can find you” Jade smirked.

Tori smirked back and left for her classes.

Jade didn’t know what she expected. She arrived at Tori’s house just as the study aspect of the study party became obsolete. Loud teenagers danced and drank around every corner of Tori’s house, alcohol spilling out of their Red Solo cups. Tori’s Spotify party playlist blasted out of giant speakers. There were lines outside of the bathrooms, nobody wanting to walk in on the drunken sex that might be happening in there.

It was just like any other party Jade had been to, and she was bored.

She walked over to the snack table to grab herself a soda. As she poured her drink, she noticed Cat tied up in a children’s leash, struggling to get out.

“Cat? What happened?”

“Tori won’t let me near the Bibble!” Cat cried.

Jade nodded. Cat defies the laws of gravity whenever sugar enters her body. Always a fan of chaos, Jade plucked a Bibble out of the large Bibble bowl and rolled it over to Cat. The redhead scrambled to the floor, sucking up the treat. Jade laughed and walked outside, avoiding the inevitable.

She leaned on the banister of Tori’s patio. Standing outside in the cool, night air, Jade watched the party unfold through Tori’s ginormous house windows. Thank god Beck wasn’t here. She instead watched her friends, like Cat chewing her way through her child leash. She watched Andre play his guitar for a group of smitten ladies. She watched Rex successfully flirt and Robbie apologize after someone poured punch on his pants. She watched Tori on the dance floor, having the time of her life, though she wasn’t as captivating as Faith the first night they met.

 _Faith_. Tori’s house looked over the skyline of Los Angeles. Jade stared wistfully at the view, dreaming about what lied beyond. She wondered what Faith was up to. Probably patrolling. Jade wished Faith was here. Faith would show everyone how to party, blowing them all away with her dancing. She could hold her liquor far better than any of the guys. Jade imagined how hilarious it would be to watch Faith pin down a coked-up Cat with ease, waiting for her to ride her buzz out.

Most importantly, Faith would be with Jade. Whenever Faith did something of party legend, Jade would proudly say that was her…Jade didn’t know what yet, but Faith was hers. She wondered if she and Faith would be clichés and get down and dirty in the bathroom, or would they stand together on the patio, sharing sweet moonlight kisses. As Jade watched the partygoers scurry across the house to catch Cat who somehow escaped her child leash, she kept imaging Faith laughing by her side.

Reality brought Jade out of her daydreams quickly when Beck entered the house.

Because Cat’s meltdown caught everyone’s attention, they didn’t notice Beck’s appearance. He and Jade made accidental eye contact, though Jade didn’t know if it was accidental on Beck’s behalf. He beelined straight to her but he had a staggered walk. Jade then noticed the half empty bottle Beck held in his hand. He struggled to open the sliding glass door but managed to do so. He now stood face to face with Jade. She could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Beck…”

“You never call me anymore.”

“Beck, what’s in the bottle?”

He looked down to read the label.

“Corona” he answered.

“Did you drive here?”

“Hell yeah, d-d-did you think I was gonna walk?”

“Beck, that’s really dangerous! You could have hurt some—"

“I want you.”

“…What?”

“I want you back.”

“Beck…”

“I miss you, I…I miss you so much.”

“You’re dating Tori now.”

“Fuck Tori! Fuck that bitch! I want you.”

Beck reached and tried to grab Jade, but she stepped back.

“No, Beck. You're way too drunk.”

Beck tried grabbing Jade again, but she pushed down his hands.

“Beck, no! Stop that!”

“Quit teasing me, baby girl. I know you love it.”

“Beck, I’m…seeing someone else.”

He laughed. “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am!”

“So, where are they?”

“They live out of town.”

“And why aren’t you there instead of here?”

Jade stayed silent. Yes, Beck was drunk and trying to aggravate her, but his words still hurt.

“Besides,” Beck slurred, “no one would ever love you more than me.”

With that, he managed to grab Jade and clumsily pull her into a sloppy, deep kiss.

Jade kneed him in the balls. As Beck crouched in pain, Jade took the back of his shirt and slammed his face into the window. Luckily, the glass didn’t break.

She then noticed that the party stopped to look at the commotion outside. Cat was out cold, her hands and ankles pinned down on the table by four separate boys. Every pair of eyes looked on at Jade in horror. Their faces headed downward as they watched a wasted Beck slide from the glass to the floor.

Jade left the patio, holding her head high. This is how everyone thought of Jade, the girl who took everything too far. Living up to her reputation. Nothing that Jade couldn’t handle.

What she didn’t like was Tori giggling to herself. She stormed over to Tori and flung her drink out of her hands.

“What’s so funny, Vega?”

Tori looked on in shock.

“Jade, I wasn’t laughing at you!”

“Really? Because it looked like you were! Do you think it’s funny having to defend myself from my drunk ex-boyfriend?”

“No! I—”

“I come to one of your stupid parties, and this is how I’m treated?”

“Jade—”

“Did you set me up, Vega? Was this all part of your plan? Make nice with the weird girl and humiliate her in front of the whole school?”

“Jade, listen to me!”

“No! I’ve listened to you for three years, Tori, and I’m fucking tired of it. Thank you once again for fucking up my life!”

Jade left as fast as she could. No way would she let anybody see her cry.

She sobbed heavily into her steering wheel. Every emotion she felt the past couple of days poured out of her. When her tears finally started drying, she felt exhausted.

 _Why after every good cry do you want to take a nap_? Jade wondered.

The dark night enveloped her sadness. All Jade wanted right now was someone to hold her. Then, instead of the darkness, she thought about Faith’s strong arms wrapping around her. Faith should have finished vamp hunting by now, so her biceps would be pulsing from the exercise.

At that point, Jade wanted nothing more than to be with Faith. She reached for her phone and shot her a message.

 _Jade: Where r u rn?_

Instantly, Faith responded.

_Faith: Library_

_Faith: Want to pop in?_

_Jade: Be right there_

Even if Jade visited Sunnydale High only once, she still remembered the way to the library. There she found Faith, dancing to a handheld music player. Faith wasn’t trying to be sexy like in the club, but just enjoying the alone time that she had.

 _How can someone be so cute and still so hot_? Jade pondered.

She planned to sneak up behind Faith and surprise her. Jade’s plans were interrupted, however, when a giant wolf growled at her in its cage.

Jade screamed and fell backwards into a bookshelf. Faith turned around to see the commotion behind her. She laughed, stopped her music, and pulled Jade up.

“How many times are you going to fall for me, J?”

Jade lightly socked her in the arm, but quickly hid behind her as the wolf kept scratching on his cage.

“Don’t mind him,” said Faith. “Oz will tire himself out soon enough. We can even blame him for that bookcase you knocked over.”

“You gave it a name?”

“No, that was his parents. Werewolves are no different than you and me, J.”

“That’s a werewolf?” asked Jade, suddenly fascinated. She slowly approached Oz’s cage.

“Oh, so now that you find out it's supernatural you want to pet it?” teased Faith.

As Jade brought her face closer to the cage, Oz threw his paw at her, blocked by the metal bars. Jade shrieked but stayed the same distance.

“This is so cool! I should bring my camera and film him!”

“I don’t think Oz would be a huge fan of that idea. Especially since come sunrise, he returns to human form buck naked and only Red deserves to see that.”

“Red?”

“What I call his girlfriend.”

“Oh.” There was still so much of Faith’s life that Jade didn’t know.

Faith then looked at Jade’s eyes. Granted, she could stare at them for days on end, but she noticed how red and puffy they were. Like Jade had spent her drive to Sunnydale crying.

Faith held both of Jade’s hands in hers.

“Are you okay?” Faith asked. “Who do I need to kill?”

Jade softly chuckled. “No one. Yet.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jade shook her head.

“Okay. Come here.”

Faith sat down and pulled Jade onto her lap. Jade nestled her head back into the crook of Faith’s neck, a place she started thinking of as a second home.

“Hold on” said Faith, lifting Jade’s head up. She then put her headphones on Jade and pressed play. Siouxsie Sioux blared through her ears. Jade couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m so glad we have great taste” Jade lamented.

Faith smiled and wrapped her arms around Jade.

“Stay here as long as you want. I’ve always had the fantasy of protecting my girlfriend from demons.” Faith glared at Oz the werewolf.

“I don’t think that’s a fantasy anymore.” Jade then realized what Faith had said. She took off her headphones, the music still playing.

“And I don’t think I heard you clearly. Did you call me your girlfriend?”

Faith grinned at her with a Cheshire cat smile.

“I did. Do you like it?”

Jade returned the smile.

“I do.”

Faith leaned over and Jade stretched upwards to share a long, passionate kiss. Faith—her _girlfriend_ Faith—softly stroked Jade’s jawline, which made Jade want to melt into a puddle. If there was a curse where she and Faith had to kiss forever, she wouldn’t mind it. After their kiss, Jade sank into Faith’s chest, feeling her heartbeat match the drums.

After the tape ended and Oz fell asleep, Jade got up and sat in the chair next to Faith. She took off the headphones and gave them back to her girlfriend. God, Jade couldn’t believe she was saying that.

“So, what happened tonight?” asked Faith.

“My ex is a dick.”

“We already knew that. What happened?”

“He…I was at this party, and he was all drunk and tried to kiss me and other stuff.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I kicked his balls and shoved his face up against the window.”

“That’s my girl!” Faith leaned over to quickly kiss Jade on her temple.

Jade couldn’t help but giggle. “I know, I thought to myself _I’m channeling some serious Faith energy_.”

Faith laughed. She reached to grab Jade’s hand and their fingers intertwined.

“How did his girlfriend react?”

“She laughed.”

Faith immediately let go of their hands and started to walk out of the library.

"Tell me where that bitch lives and I’ll make it look like an accident.”

Jade ran to stop her.

“Wait! Don’t actually hurt her! She may be a bitch, but she doesn’t deserve death!”

Faith huffed and walked back to their chairs.

“You’re seriously my impulse control, babe.”

They sat back down and held hands again.

“Why did she laugh?” asked Faith.

“She…I don’t know…to make fun of me, I guess.”

Faith started to stand up again, but Jade pulled her down.

“But I don’t know. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I left before it could get any worse.”

“Did you ask her why she laughed?”

Jade sighed. “No…no I didn’t.”

“Did she try telling you why she laughed?”

“…Yes.”

“Did you listen?”

Jade answered in silence

“Look, I don’t want to play devil’s advocate here—”

“I know! But you just don’t understand how awful she is! She’s just the worst person!”

“That still doesn’t mean she was laughing at you.”

She gulped and squeezed Faith’s hand. Jade hated being wrong.

“Well since we’re already mining uncomfortable territory,” Faith turned to look at Jade right in the eye, “why did you always say no when I asked you to come over?”

And there it was. Faith had finally dropped the gun. It was time for Jade to really dig into her feelings.

“You know…those notes you wrote about Buffy, they…they really put me off. You flirted with me so much, I didn’t know if you were just toying with me or what. I mean, it’s pretty obvious what you think about me now, but still…I’m worried that…that you’re only settling for me because you really like Buffy.”

Now it was Faith’s turn to squeeze Jade’s hand. She drew out a heavy sigh, one that sounded like she held it in for months.

“When I first moved to Sunnydale,” Faith started, “Kayla was still fresh in my mind. I needed a distraction to get rid of her, which I thought would be the constant slaying. Instead, it turned out to be Buffy. She was everything that Kayla wasn't: strong, forward, and most importantly, not tied down to a man. I wanted her so bad. But Buffy kept blubbering on about Angel and how he was the one for her and how much she missed him, so I figured we’d never have a shot. Then, during an afternoon of channel surfing, I landed on a rerun of Oprah—”

Jade gave a playful smirk.

“Don’t you fucking judge me!” Faith cried.

“I’m not. Oprah is magic.”

“Anyways,” Faith continued, “she had this expert talk about having a crush without it getting in the way of your life. He said to write whatever thoughts you have of them and shove them in your mattress, so can revisit them in your sleep. It helped a little because I work nights and hardly sleep at all. But those bastard feelings stayed, making me crazy for Buffy. And then…I met you.”

Jade wanted to smile, but she couldn’t.

“So, why did you keep the notes even when we saw each other?”

Faith sighed once more.

“Because I didn’t want to be heartbroken again. I had no idea if you were interested in me, and I didn’t want to put all my…um…”

“You can say ‘faith.’ I won’t laugh.”

“…My faith in you. I couldn’t go through that again. So, Buffy was a back-up plan. If you didn’t like me like I liked you, then I was back to yearning.” Faith rested her forehead on Jade’s. “First thing I’m doing when I get home is cleaning out my mattress.”

“Even the sword?”

“Oh no! The sword ties the whole room together!”

Jade laughed and stared deep into Faith’s eyes. She could look into Faith’s eyes one million times a day and they would never lose their beauty.

“You know, I never thought about girls my whole life until I met you” said Jade.

Faith smiled and brought their joint hands up.

“Were you scared?” Faith asked.

“Terrified. But you’re Faith. How could I not fall for you?”

Jade could barely make it out, but she swore she saw a hint of bright color in Faith’s cheeks. She brought their hands to her mouth and lightly kissed the knuckles. It was too romantic for Faith to handle, so she connected her mouth to Jade’s, and they traded lazy kisses in the library.


	10. Such An Idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on S3E10 "Amends." It contains adultery, divorce, and a very small suicide joke. Viewer discretion is advised.

A month passed. Girlfriends Jade and Faith soon reached a comfortable routine. Whenever Jade had any free time after school, she drove down to Sunnydale to see Faith. Sometimes they fucked, other times they watched Jade’s newest movie which then led to fucking. Jade’s film journey currently went through “a VHS period,” though she never told her teachers why. When night came, Jade would either leave before Faith went out for her obligatory slaying, or wait until she came back home, spend the night, and drive to Hollywood Arts the next morning. And she always spent her weekends in Sunnydale. Every Saturday and Sunday morning, Jade entered the motel room with her spare key and waited for Faith to return from training. During some extended periods of patient boredom, Jade wondered about surprising Faith at the library. Then she remembered Buffy was also there too. She thought about how Buffy spent much more time with Faith than she did. Sure, Faith kept her promise and cleaned out her mattress, but did that end her feelings too? She loved joking about how slaying made her “hungry and horny” and with Buffy _right there_ , what was to stop her—

 _No!_ Jade scolded herself. _You can’t go down that road again. No more jealous Jade. Faith is loyal to you. She is all you have right now._

That was mostly true. After a month of cold shoulders, it became clear that Jade was no longer a part of her friend group. She was fine with it if she didn’t have to work with or sit next to creepy Sinjin. Or so she told herself. Deep down, she knew Faith wasn’t a healthy substitute, but what else could she do? Everyone else in Hollywood Arts hated or feared her. Faith was the only person her age who looked her in the eye.

That changed on the day before Christmas vacation. Walking down the hall to her next class, Cat abruptly blocked Jade’s path and held up a pink box.

“Merry Christmas!” Cat squealed.

“What?” questioned Jade.

“Oh, sorry! Happy Hanukkah!”

“No, that’s not—”

“Kwanza time?”

“Cat!”

“…Arbor Day 2?”

Jade sighed. “Yes, Cat. Happy Arbor Day 2.” She took the package out of Cat’s hands, feeling the extra weight in her own. “What is this?” she asked.

“It’s a present!”

“Yeah, I can see that. But why?”

“Because it’s Christmas! And they’re my famous cupcakes! Everyone should have one of my famous cupcakes!”

“Cat, you know they’re famous because they don’t have flour, sugar, or eggs, right? They’re basically individually wrapped mud.”

“Now they do have all those things! My brother was in his cage when I made them!”

“Why does your brother…you know what, never mind.” Jade rubbed her thumbs on the sides of the box. “I just…Cat, why did you give me a Christmas present? We haven’t talked in weeks.”

“Well, yeah, that’s true. But you’re still my friend. And friends always get presents.”

Jade tried stopping the smile creeping on her face, but she failed. “Thanks, Cat.”

Cat grinned. “We miss eating lunch with you.”

“No, you don’t.”

“You’re right. That’s a lie. Well, _I_ miss you. I miss you calling me ‘slightly irritating.’”

“That’s not a good thing.”

“I don’t have any other good memories with you.”

Jade shrugged. “That’s fair.”

“Oh!” Cat bounced with excitement. “We’re going caroling tomorrow night! You should join us!”

“And have Rex waste another two hours of my life with his improvised Christmas raps? No thank you.” Jade then caught Cat’s saddening eyes. She started to backtrack.

“I really appreciate what you’re doing, but I’m not in L.A. tomorrow.”

“Yeah, we’re all confused by that. Why are you leaving town all the time?”

Everything inside Jade clenched. She hadn’t told anyone about her secret life in Sunnydale. It was less the fear of judgement, and more of keeping her relationship with Faith to herself.

“I-I-I-I’m visiting my dad more” Jade stammered. She continued her walk. “I need to get to class.” 

“But Jade, I thought your dad hated you!”

“GOODBYE CAT.” Jade shouted over her shoulder as she turned the corner.

Later that day, Jade and Faith Facetimed each other. The former paced around her bedroom as she recounted her morning.

“The more you tell me about your friends, the more I think I’m in the wrong Hell mouth” said Faith, lying on her bed. Her TV was on, but she did not watch it.

“I hope you are! Then you could be close to me, and I wouldn’t have to drive an hour away all the damn time! At this rate, my gas budget will be higher than my college debt!”

“Is that why you’re not here? I’m worth less than your car?”

“No, I have this huge science group project over break, and we need all the free time we can get.”

“Who are the other guys?”

“No idea. No one talks to me out of choice. We were all assigned to each other. I think I saw one guy write out his will.”

Faith laughed. “Sounds fun. Try forging it and see if we can split the money.”

“I’m not going to kill him!”

“Well, he already fears for his life. That’s a start.”

Jade smiled but sighed. “Sometimes I wish that I still had my friends.”

“Why not talk to them?”

“Because they’re all so much happier without me. They’re the perfect group and I’m just the tag-a-long.”

“That Cat girl still sounds like she wants to be friends with you.”

“Faith, her best friend is the bush outside of her house.”

“And you’re the perfect replacement! After spending a month with you, I can say that you have the best—”

“I am cutting you off right there.” Jade stopped pacing and flopped onto her bed. “Maybe you have a point…”

“I have a stake. Close second?”

“What I’m _trying_ to say is that I should talk to them again. I guess I should’ve taken them up on their caroling offer.”

Faith sat up. “You’re shitting me.”

“No, I’m not. Why do you look so concerned?”

“Literally, I think at the same time your friend asked you, Buffy invited me to _her_ caroling party with her friends.”

“Holy crap! What is it with people and caroling these days?”

“Tell me about it."

“I mean, I get my situation, I go to a drama school. But from what I’ve seen, your friends are not the ‘burst-into-song’ type of people. What did you say?”

“Turned B down, same as you. Told her I had other Christmas plans.”

“Which are…?”

“Tree. Nog. Roast beast.”

“Really?” Jade chuckled. “How are you going to fit a tree in your shed that you call an apartment?”

Faith went silent for a moment. Then she slapped her hand down on her mattress hard.

“Dammit, J, you called my bluff! I don’t have shit planned for X-Mas.”

Jade grinned at Faith’s outburst. “If it makes you feel better, I lied to Cat too.”

“You are the actress in the relationship.”

Then Jade scoffed at her. “That’s not what you said on our last movie night! You totally bashed my acting in _So Pharaoh_ _Away_ when the mummy chased me!”

“Because mummies are little bitches! Even zombies still have their brains. It’s the same thing as being afraid of a cow. Besides, their curse eventually kills them again, so they all die out anyway. Mummies? Least scary monster.”

“Less scary than _The Ginger Dead Man_?”

“The hell is that?”

“The soul of Gary Busey lives in a gingerbread man and he goes on a killing spree.”

“I’ve never heard of that in my entire life.”

“It’s total garbage. You need to see it immediately.”

Faith laughed once more. “Well, 'tis the season, whatever that means.”

Jade could feel the blush rise in her cheeks. “You know, if you really don’t have any plans tomorrow night, we could watch it together.”

“What about you? Doesn’t your mom want to do something?”

“She’s been mooching on this guy for about a month and they’re having Christmas dinner together. Perfect time to abandon your child.”

Faith grinned from ear to ear. “Alright. Guess we’re having a Christmas date.”

“You can hitch a ride to L.A. this time.”

“Don’t take this personally, J, but the only time I will ever come to L.A. is if there is something seriously wrong with my life.”

“And you think L.A. would turn it around?”

“No.” Faith gave a sad smile. “I would blend in.”

On the day of Christmas Eve, Jade spent hours video chatting over the shared work that each group member would do. It didn’t help that several members logged off, scared of Jade’s ever-changing background of Google Image searches of “creepy pasta.” As the sun began to set, Jade mulled over her wardrobe. She settled on a red dress in which the color leaned more towards _festive_ than _massacre_. Jade then packed her gifts in a black satchel and left her room.

When she walked downstairs, she noticed her mother standing next to the dining room table. Adorned with a spotless white tablecloth, their good china, actual silver silverware, and a lit candelabra, the table looked like it belonged in a five-star restaurant than in her own house. Ms. West’s nails curled on the top of a chair and sipped her red wine in the other hand.

“Oh good!” Jade’s mother chimed when she spotted her daughter. “You’re already dressed up! That’s one conversation avoided.”

“What’s going on?” asked Jade.

“Richard’s coming over for dinner, remember?”

“WHAT?” Jade yelped. “I thought you were going over to his place!”

“We were, at first. But after one month of seeing each other, I thought tonight could be the next step in our relationship. So, I invited him here so we can all have Christmas dinner together!”

“And you don’t expect me to eat with you two, do you?”

“Of course, you’re eating with us! Why would even suggest a thing like that?”

“Because whenever of your “man friends” came over and I was home, you locked me up in dad’s study.”

“Well, that’s all in the past! Now you join us!”

“Oh, come on! You can’t shun me away this one time?”

“What has gotten into you, Jade-and-Bake? What’s wrong with having a nice dinner?”

“Dad calls me Jade-and-Bake.”

Her mother fell silent. After a gulp of her wine, she took a deep breath.

“Jade, I would appreciate if you didn’t mention your father tonight.”

“So you can make room for daddy number 2?”

Ms. West slammed her drink on the table, the wine thankfully not spilling over.

“Just what are you implying, young lady?”

“Mom, it doesn’t take a scientist or whatever douchey businessman you’re hot for to know how badly you want a husband again.”

“How dare—”

“How come you haven’t torn down dad’s study? Burned it to the ground? You’re just waiting for someone to fill in the space, like this asshole.”

“Richard is a gentleman!”

“Really, mother? He’s already named ‘dick.’ Shouldn’t that be enough of a hint?”

“Jade West, I do not want to resort to childish punishments on the night of our Lord, but one more snipe out of you and I will send you to bed hungry!”

“Good idea, mom! It’s like you’ve never done that before! Now I don’t have to sit through you drooling over a distracted executive who keeps texting his ‘aunt’ instead of eating the halfway defrosted turkey that you slaved over!”

Her mother’s face paled. Her eyes became glassy. Jade knew she was being an asshole, but she couldn’t stop herself.

“You’re dating dad all over again! Every year, you find ‘the one’ and he breaks your heart just like he did. You never learn from this, and you won’t ever learn until you die. So, I’m sorry if I’m being a bitch, but I really don’t want to spend Christmas with a clone of the man who destroyed our family all those years ago today!”

Jade gripped her satchel, fuming with anger. Ms. West polished off her glass, a single tear streaming down her cheek.

“You know, Jade, I’m sure Beck is sweet to you and all that. So was your father. You two remind me of your dad and I when we were young. We were crazy about each other.”

“What’s your point?”

“My _point_ is that love fades, especially young love. Even if you have a good relationship right now, don’t get so high and mighty with me about mine. Yours could crash and burn just like ours did.”

That’s when Jade lost it. She threw bag on the couch and screamed at the top of her lungs.

“AT LEAST WE WON’T HAVE A KID THAT WE’LL SCREW OVER! MAYBE DAD LEFT US, BUT YOU’RE NOT ANY BETTER! GOING OUT ON DATES IS ONE THING. LEAVING YOUR CHILD—YOUR _TEN-YEAR-OLD_ CHILD—ALONE IN THE HOUSE WITH NO SUPERVISION AND NO FOOD EVERY SINGLE NIGHT IS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING! I LOST A DAD, BUT I LOST A MOTHER TOO. I WILL NEVER, EVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT, NO MATTER HOW FUCKING MAGICAL THIS HOLIDAY IS! OH, AND FOR THE RECORD, BECK AND I BROKE UP MONTHS AGO! _MONTHS_ , AND YOU NEVER NOTICED! WHERE’S YOUR MOM-OF-THE-YEAR AWARD ON THAT BULLSHIT?”

Whatever color her mother had left in her body drained out. As she slowly took a seat on the couch, the only sound in the house were the refrigerator humming and Jade’s heavy breathing.

“Jade…I’m so…I’m so sorry…about you and Beck.”

 _Of course, that’s what you apologize for first_ Jade thought. She looked down at her feet.

“It’s okay. It’s not, but it’s okay.”

Her mother slightly nodded, then looked up.

“Wait, if you and Beck broke up months ago, then where have you gone all these weeks?”

“The same place I’m going now.” With that, Jade walked out to the garage.

“Jade!” her mother called out, but it was too late. Jade pulled out of the driveway after turning off her phone.

Setting up the last of her decorations, Faith heard a knock on her door and opened it. Just as about she was to say “Hey,” Jade dropped her bag and enveloped her in a tight hug. She gripped onto Faith for dear life, burying her face into her girlfriend’s neck. As much as Faith wanted to ask what was wrong, she hugged her back instead. Her lips delicately graced the top of Jade’s head.

After a moment, Jade lifted herself up and looked into Faith’s eyes. More than anything, she didn’t want to talk about what happened before she came. Faith, sensing her uneasiness, respected Jade’s wishes. Without speaking, Faith glanced at the ceiling. Jade followed and saw the mistletoe dangling above them. Her face then broke into a burst of giggles as Faith reached over to close the gap. Jade hummed into Faith’s peppermint flavored lip balm. She licked her lips after breaking the kiss, still trying to taste Faith.

“Well come on in!” Faith then greeted with a hard slap on Jade’s ass. “I didn’t spend my whole afternoon decorating just for you to stand outside!”

Jade laughed as she picked up her bag and stepped inside. “The mistletoe on the doorway is a nice touch” she complimented. Then she looked around Faith’s apartment more closely. “And the table, and the bed, and the TV, and the walls, and I’m just going to assume the bathroom too.”

Faith chuckled at her own exuberance. Every piece of furniture had at least one sprig of mistletoe taped to it.

“Yeah, I might have gotten carried away. There’s even a salad.”

“With actual mistletoe? You know that shit’s poisonous, right?”

Faith’s face fell. “Uh…”

“Unless you were planning to kill us _Romeo and Juliet_ style. I mean, I don’t condone it, but…sick.”

She managed to smile at that. “I’m guessing Chinese tonight, then?” Faith slowly wrapped her arms around Jade’s torso. “And hopefully, we can put that mistletoe to good use, because I want to bang you on every inch of this room.”

Jade laughed. “Hot” she said between kisses. “Just you, me…and Gary Busey.”

Faith groaned and rested her forehead on Jade’s shoulder. “I was hoping you’d forget that.”

“No one can ever forget Gary Busey as a murderous cookie.”

Faith rolled her eyes. “You better have brought something nice for me too, besides your tight ass.”

“I did, actually” Jade laughed and bent down to pick up her bag. She reached inside and pulled out a bonsai tree.

“I bought it on the way. I figured that this would be the only tree to fit in here.”

Faith smiled and plucked the tree from Jade’s hands. “Thanks. I think I still have some candy wrappers lying around here, so maybe that could be the ornaments.”

“Speaking of trash…”

They sat on the floor, their chopsticks switching between mushu pork and chow mein. A VHS tape of _The Ginger Dead Man_ played on Faith’s outdated television set. Sunnydale was in the middle a large heatwave, so Faith had the AC cranked up to its highest setting. The girls couldn’t hear the movie that well because of the loud cooling system humming, which Faith called “a blessing in disguise.” She had a lot to say about the movie.

“So, it seems pointless to question anything right now” she said to Jade.

“Yes.”

“Because he’s already a sentient cookie.”

“Correct.”

“The line of reality has already vanished.”

“Exactly.”

“But I still can’t get over him driving a car. The little fucker’s six inches tall! How can he see? How is this all possible?” She turned to Jade, giggling with a mouth full of food. “How can _you_ stomach this steaming pile?”

“I can’t. This is my first time seeing this.”

Faith’s eyes grew wide. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” she screamed. “You made this seem like this was your sacred Christmas tradition!”

“Yeah, I know.”

Faith fell back against the end of her bed, her hands in her hair. “But…but why?”

Jade then looked down at her takeout container. Her chopsticks swirled her greasy food around.

“I don’t…I don’t really have any Christmas traditions. I used to, but…I try to forget them.”

Faith paused the movie. A girl with a knife deep inside her head froze on the screen.

“Tell me.”

Jade gazed into Faith’s eyes. They looked so trusting. She sighed.

“My…my dad was a management consultant, which meant he traveled a lot. I hardly saw him. He missed all my birthdays. When I was ten, he said he would stay with my mom and I all Christmas day, not leaving for the office after we unwrapped the presents. And he did. It was one of the happiest days of my life. After the presents, he said we should all see a movie together. He needed to take care of some business at home, but said he’d meet us at the theater. Half an hour later, mom and I were still in the lobby waiting for him. She’s so worried that we left the movie theater and drove home to see if he’s okay. And he was okay. Elated, in fact, because he was balls deep in his secretary on our couch. We found them in mid-coitus, and it all went to Hell from there. Hours of scream-fighting this, leaving home forever that, and it was the last actual Christmas I ever had. Mom fills her void with an endless parade of jerk wads. I fill mine with my art. And Christmas is just off the table. So, when mom tried to have one tonight, I couldn’t handle it. There’s still so much hurt that hasn’t—”

She choked on the last sentence. Faith instantly slid next to her, torsos touching, and laid Jade’s head on her shoulder. She stroked one of her teal highlights.

“I kind of know how you feel. My old man never sobered up for anything, including Christmas. It was just another day for me. But I guess that’s the only thing I can relate to because I do like Christmas, even back then. People were more giving to us. We took all the charity—presents, money, free food, you name it. That was the only time I ever went to church because that was the closest soup kitchen from my house. Not a religious person in the slightest, but it was nice to sit in a sermon and have a moment of peace, even if it was for an hour. Oh!” Faith squeezed Jade’s arm on the last word. “I loved the snow. Damn, that’s what I miss the most about Boston. It’s feels… wrong for it to be so warm tonight. I swear, if I see snow falling outside the window right now, I’m going to lose my shit.”

“God, I hate that.”

Faith looked down at Jade’s head. “What, my precious childhood memories?”

“I hate when people get so excited about the weather. Like people are besides themselves whenever they see a rainbow. Guess what? It’s just nature, and it’s so hypocritical. No one ever gets excited about a hailstorm.”

Faith sighed. “Your commentary is so entertaining, until you personally attack me.”

Jade snidely chuckled and lifted her head from Faith’s shoulder. They kept the movie paused. The evening didn’t seem right for it anymore.

“I was surprised that Buffy asked me to go caroling with her” Faith said apropos of nothing. “It’s just…I mean, they’re all nice to me, but it’s like I’m not a part of the group. I’m not ‘The Second Slayer,’ I’m ‘The Backup Slayer.’ So, when Buffy asked me, my first thought was _Who dropped out so you could punch me in_?” She reluctantly took a bite of her now cold mushu pork.

Jade curled herself around her knees. Quietly, under her breath, she said “I like caroling.”

“What?” Faith asked.

Even though the apartment was already hot, Jade could feel her body heat up even more.

“I said I like caroling. That’s what I like most about Christmas. When I was little, I used to stay up late and wait for carolers outside our door, even when it wasn’t December. When they came, my mom had to stop me from going outside and singing with them. I always sang with them. That’s when I first discovered my love for singing.”

Faith smiled kindly. “So, why didn’t you go caroling with your friends tonight?”

Jade looked at her girlfriend. “Same as you.”

“Well, at least—Cat? —Cat is trying.” Faith grabbed the pink box of cupcakes that Jade brought with her.

“Don’t think too highly of her just yet. Last time she made those cupcakes; they were barely edible concrete. I’m using you as my guinea pig so you can die before me.”

“How thoughtful.”

“Isn’t being a slayer all about sacrifice?”

“To demons, not to cake.”

Faith opened the box. Her face froze, showing no emotion. She then cleared her throat.

“Hey Jade, have you…have you told your friends about us?”

“No. Why?”

“I think Cat might have picked up on something.”

Setting the open box on Jade’s lap, they both looked down at Cat’s pale-pink frosted cupcakes with one red Boba ball on top, slightly pushed inwards. They tried hard to stifle their growing laughter.

“Well,” Jade finally spoke, “at least we know _some_ part is edible.”

Faith held up two cupcakes. “This is you ‘before.’”

“Oh my god.” Jade stared at Faith in wild disbelief.

She then started giving the frosting long licks and flicking the bobas while keeping eye contact with Jade. The latter squirmed in her seat, giggling, and mortified by her horny girlfriend. Faith then held the two cupcakes, their frosting now rigid and the Boba perched high on top of the dessert.

“This is you ‘after.’”

Jade shrieked, took a cupcake out of the box and smushed onto Faith’s cheek. Not wanting her to win this battle, Faith took her cupcake and smushed it onto Jade’s cheek. They fell on the floor laughing hard.

After their laughter faded, Jade asked “Why am I in love with such an idiot?”

Faith sat up. “What did you say?”

“What?”

“Did you say that you’re in love with me?”

Jade sat up as well. “Um…yeah, I guess I did.”

“Wow.” Faith gave a bashful smile. “I think’s it’s the first time we’ve ever said that to each other.”

“Each other?”

“I’m in love with you too.” Faith said as she scooped up loose frosting off her cheek and licked it off her fingers.

Now it was Jade’s turn to be bashful. “For a tough chick, you’re such a romantic” she joked.

“What can I say? ‘I love you’ fifty more times?”

“Fuck yes.”

The lovers grabbed each other and made out ferociously. They writhed on the floor, sucking off the leftover frosting, and whispering “I love you” as soon as they could breathe. Tonight, they broke a barrier. They had finally confessed their love and didn’t want to let the other go.

They eventually did when Faith ended their kiss. Just like if they were a puzzle, the girls fell in their usual positions, Faith on top and Jade on the bottom. Faith stared down at Jade’s pink flush and her luscious lips. All she wanted was to bring herself down again and become one with Jade, but she wanted something else even more.

“Sing for me” Faith said.

“What?”

Faith got off Jade and sat back down on the floor. “Sing for me. You said caroling was your favorite part of Christmas, and I want to hear you carol. You go to a performing arts school, yes?”

“Yes.”

“So, perform your art.”

Jade sighed. It has been so long since she sang a Christmas song, unless she counted when she saved Tori’s sorry ass. The carolers stopped showing up at her house ever since she turned goth, fearing that she’d pull a Wednesday Addams and douse them in hot oil.

Then she thought about the gifts she gave to Faith so far—a terrible horror movie to watch, a tree that will mostly likely die, and anatomically correct cupcakes. Not a great trio of presents. In comparison, her singing was the best gift.

After thinking about which song to sing, she settled on “O Holy Night,” which favored her belting. Throughout the song, Jade kept her eyes closed. She couldn’t bear to see Faith’s reaction to her voice. What if Faith thought she sucked? When she hit the last ‘noel,’ Jade bravely opened her eyes.

What she saw from Faith was nothing like she had seen before. She was enraptured. She hung on Jade’s every word. Faith looked like she discovered the most beautiful thing in the world.

As Jade finished, both stared at each other for a long time. Jade could feel her eyes welling with tears. Though her vision blurred, she assumed Faith felt the same way. Then Faith’s mouth hung open.

“Holy shit.”

“Was I that bad?” Jade asked.

“No! Look!” Faith pointed at the window behind her.

Jade turned around to see snow falling against the night sky. She turned back to Faith, who put her hand over Jade’s mouth.

“Don’t ruin this for me.”

Jade nodded.

Faith then screamed and ran out the door without bothering to put on a coat. She jumped up and down in the parking lot, acting like a little kid.

“It’s snowing! It’s finally fucking snowing!” Faith cried out.

Jade stood by the doorway, watching Faith enjoy herself. Faith then came over to Jade and wrapped her in her arms. She pulled Jade off her feet and spun her around in the storm.

“Oh god, it’s so cold!” Jade squealed, clinging to Faith.

“Have you never experienced snow before?”

“No!”

Faith set Jade down on her feet and kissed her. They held each other’s frozen cheeks.

“Now you had your first kiss in the snow.” Faith smiled with a toothy grin.

“And our umpteenth one in this parking lot.”

They kissed until it became too cold and they warmed themselves up in bed.


	11. You're Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place during S03E14 "Bad Girls" with a mention of S03E13 "The Zeppo"

Three months after Christmas break passed, Jade walked into Sikowitz’s classroom.

“Morning!” she greeted with a big smile on her face.

“GET DOWN!” Rex yelled. The rest of the students screamed and flung themselves to the floor. Rex hid behind Robbie.

“Rex! Why are you hiding behind me?” cried Robbie.

“I’m the one with a future! You’re _my_ human shield!”

As the class cowered, Jade stared at them in surprise and confusion.

“ _What_ is happening right now?”

“You’re in a good mood!” Rex shouted.

“…So?”

“You’re never in a good mood! If you’re smiling like that, then you’re about to do something evil!”

“Like kill someone!” Robbie squealed.

“And if you _are_ going to kill someone, kill Robbie! His body is all freaky!”

Jade rolled her eyes. She walked to her seat at the back of the classroom while the students parted her walkway like the Red Sea. Staring down at her phone, some kids next to her tried sneaking peeks at Jade’s ever appearing grin. Jade shook her head. They would never understand.

Since Christmas, her and Faith’s relationship was at an all time high. Jade never realized how much two people can share with each other. She and Faith had inside jokes that no one would get, and fleeting touches that no would experience. Jade was so grateful that she could kiss Faith’s intoxicating smile whenever she wanted to. Faith loved to sneak up behind Jade and wrap her arms around the small of her back. Jade and Faith were not two halves making a whole. They were two wholes coming together.

Not to mention the sex was still amazing. Further into their relationship, Faith would sometimes take Jade out patrolling so they could play the game “How Long Can We Make Out on A Fresh Grave Until the Vampire Inevitably Crawls Out?” Faith never let a vamp go free. The game became exciting the more demons they met, as Faith would grow hornier for Jade, almost taking her on the trunk of a birch tree.

The most eventful night they shared happened two weeks ago. Post coital, Jade went to the bathroom to shower while Faith redressed herself. Faith then heard Xander frantically knocking on her door and screaming her name. Faith let him as he slammed the door behind him. Just as he told Faith about his evening of reanimated corpses chasing him, Jade came out of the bathroom with only a towel on. Both she and Xander screamed, while Faith bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. Her demeanor soon changed when she saw Xander’s pants tent. Faith then shoved him out the door with the line “That’s my girlfriend, perv!” When Xander finally left, Jade and Faith stared at each until they broke out into laughter. They ordered pizza and spent the rest of the night cracking themselves up.

Sikowitz starting his class brought Jade back to the present. For the rest of the day, no one looked at her, fearing her happiness. Even her former friend group avoided her more than usual. Jade didn’t care, though. All that mattered to her lived several miles away and Jade would see her very soon.

That night, Jade channel surfed as she waited for Faith to come home from patrolling. After her fifth rotation of TV channels, the door burst open. Before Jade could say anything, Faith pounced and trapped Jade between the bed and her body. Faith clutched Jade’s wrists over her head, attacking her face with rough kisses. Jade moaned at the overwhelming sensations.

“Good night?” Jade managed to breath out.

“God yes.”

Faith let go one of Jade’s wrists to lift her shirt up and kiss down her stomach. Jade writhed under the slayer’s fingers. Faith dipped two digits down the front of Jade’s jeans.

“B and I made a killing.”

Jade lifted her head up at the name of the other slayer.

“Really?”

“Yeah, B went at it.” Faith undid Jade’s zipper. “Think I’m finally breaking through to her.”

“With…?”

Jade then gasped as Faith pulled down both her jeans and her underwear in one fell swoop.

“That good girls don’t get anywhere.” Faith lifted Jade’s leg and rested it on her shoulder. “God, I’ve been craving you all night.” She then hungrily nibbled on Jade’s inner thigh.

The mention of Buffy soon left Jade’s head as she gave into Faith’s sexual power. She didn’t think any more of it.

Then more nights passed, with Faith coming home later and later. She would collapse on the bed, exhausted from that night’s patrolling. At first, Jade would be the doting girlfriend, rubbing out the kinks in Faith’s body.

“Buffy put you through quite a workout” she said. Faith nodded in agreement and they fell asleep together.

As the nights continued, Jade grew more restless. When she rubbed Faith’s shoulders, she started kissing up her neck. When Jade rolled her tongue around her ear, Faith leaned away.

“Not tonight, babe” she said. Jade wrapped herself around Faith’s shoulders.

“I hate seeing you so tired.”

“All part of the job” Faith half grinned. She turned her head to kiss Jade sweetly. Jade hummed into her mouth.

The next night, Faith didn’t come home at all. It was 3 AM when Jade eventually fell asleep. When the morning came, Jade awoke to the sound of the door opening. Faith stood in yesterday’s clothes holding two coffees.

“Before you say anything, I know I fucked up.”

“Yeah, you sure did” Jade grumbled in her bed.

“I bought you an apology coffee.”

Jade got out of bed, took the coffee from Faith’s hands, and mumbled a “thanks.” Faith watched her take a giant gulp.

“Where were you last night?” Jade asked.

“B and I lost track of time, so I crashed at her place.”

Jade’s hand lightly crushed the cup.

“You stayed at Buffy’s?”

“It was closer to where we were. I know I should have called you. Sorry.”

Jade sighed. “Just promise that won’t happen again.”

Faith kissed Jade’s cheek.

“I promise.”

Jade then dressed and left for school, both girls parting with a “See you later.”

At lunch, Jade could barely keep her eyes open. Waiting for Faith all night left her fatigued. She caught herself drifting off in several classes. Some teachers even caught her too, though thankfully did not give her detention. The warm sunshine on her back almost put Jade to sleep right on the lunch table. She sighed, flicking a leaf in her salad. Yet again, she ate alone. With no one to keep her awake, Jade decided to FaceTime Faith.

It took longer for Faith to answer her phone than usual. When she did, Faith appeared out of breath but joyous.

“Hey babe!” she greeted.

“You seem happy” Jade gave a lazy smile.

“I’m fucking ecstatic! B and I just demolished a whole vampire nest, like, seconds ago!”

Jade’s smile immediately fell at the mention of Buffy.

“Wait, you mean just now? I thought vampires died from sunlight.”

“Remember that warehouse I told you about? We stormed it and FUCKED. SHIT. UP!”

“Hell yeah!” cheered an off-camera voice.

“Is that Buffy?” Jade asked.

“Yeah! You want to say hi?”

Before Jade had the chance to object, Faith’s phone angled both slayers into frame.

“Hey Jade” Buffy waved. Jade then noticed how similarly dressed Buffy and Faith were.

“Hi…B.”

“You got her calling me B too?” Buffy laughed at Faith.

“Nah, that’s my thing. She’s J, you’re B. Try not to switch the two around.”

Jade made herself chuckle along with the other girls.

“So, Jade, where are you right now?” asked Buffy.

“School.”

Buffy gave a pitiful sigh.

“Don’t envy you there. I’m supposed to be in Chemistry right now.”

“Wait, you’re skipping school?”

“Why shouldn’t she?” Faith intervened. “We’re slayers. We have more important shit to do. Those kids should be thanking us for saving their assess every night.”

“And every day now, I suppose” Jade said.

“Hopefully” said Buffy.

“The Hell Mouth doesn’t stand a chance” said Faith. She and Buffy high-fived

“At least you’ll take a break this afternoon so we can hang out, right Faith?” Jade asked.

“What?” Buffy turned to Faith.

Faith now took up the full view on Jade’s phone.

“Listen, J…Buffy and I are doing really well right now. We’ve never staked these many vamps before. So, we decided that we’re going to keep patrolling for the rest of the day. Slayer business.”

Jade pinched herself under the table to not show any emotion.

“Oh…really?”

“Jade, I swear that I will make it up to you. I don’t mean to brag—”

“Liar.”

“Absolutely. I’m golden girlfriend material. Okay, slayer privilege gets you everything. Whatever stuff you want or places you want to go, I’ll make it happen.”

“Really?”

“Really. Anything for my girl.”

Jade couldn’t help but blush at the last part.

“I want you to come home tonight—”

“Done.”

“And…I don't want you to be too tired.”

Faith’s mouth curled at Jade’s request.

“Done” Faith winked.

That afternoon, Jade laid on her bed moping. On any other day, she’d be halfway down the highway right about now. Instead, Faith was with Buffy. Jade couldn’t join them. “Slayer business,” whatever that meant. Jade cursed that Faith didn’t have any social media and she couldn’t Insta-stalk them like a normal person.

So, she skimmed through her former friend’s pages to see what they were up to: Andre posting his newest songs; Cat interviewing old people; Rex posting pics of his group date with girls from Northridge while Robbie cried in the corner. Jade then remembered that she had a web show of her own— “Stuff I Hate.” She uploaded the last video a year ago. Jade thought about updating her series, but she couldn’t make herself repeating “I hate my life” for an hour entertaining enough. Plus, all the comments would be about either her and Beck, or Tori and Beck.

Just as she scrolled through yet another timeline, Jade heard her bedroom door creak open. Her mother stood in the doorway, holding a takeout menu.

“Are you home tonight?” her mother asked sheepishly.

Jade didn’t answer, only half listening.

“I’m thinking about bringing in sushi for dinner. What would you like?”

“My usual.”

“I…I don’t know what that is.”

“Are you ordering from Nozu?”

“Yes?”

“Tell them you’re the mother of the weird goth girl. I’m a regular.”

“Jade—”

“Mom. It’s fine. That’s what I am. I’m used to it.”

“Oh…okay.”

They’ve done this dance for months. Ever since their fight, Jade’s mother had avoided her. They only shared small talk. Nothing else of that night came up, not even where Jade disappeared off to. Her mother still didn’t want to have that conversation, though Jade was more than ready.

 _Technically, I share the blame_ Jade thought. _But I had my say. She’s the adult. Why won’t she instigate it?_

Jade sat up on her bed.

“Mom?” she called, stopping her mother from leaving. “Is there anything else you want to say to me?”

Her mother’s jaw closed. Her eyes darted across the room. Jade could see the fear in them. Her mother finally shook her head “no,” and slipped out of the door frame. Jade sighed and laid back down on the bed.

 _Worth a try_.

As soon as her back hit her mattress, her phone rang. Not bothering to look at the caller ID, Jade answered.

“Hello?” she greeted.

Only heavy breathing came from the other end.

“Hello?” Jade asked again.

More heavy breathing.

“Cool, I’m hanging up now” said Jade.

“I still miss you” said a familiar velvety voice.

Jade gave the loudest groan she could.

“Beck, this is the absolute worst time to call me.”

“It’s always the worst time for you.”

“Weird how you instigate that. Maybe that’s a sign of something.”

“If you still hate me, why don’t you block my number?”

“Because I like the feeling of personally rejecting you. You know, like you did with me.”

“I still miss you.”

“Uh huh, you said that already. At least you’re sober this time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Wow, it took you _months_ to finally apologize.”

“I’m sorry for being a dick.”

“Which time? Because there’s a lot of them.”

“Jade, you’re not making this easy.”

“I’ve been doing that since day one. Still the same girl that you dated before. I’m not changing.”

“Well, maybe you should.”

“Excuse me?”

“Maybe you should change! Then someone _will_ want to date you!”

“Fuck you! When did this turn so aggressive?”

“Oh, so now you want to fuck me?”

Jade could feel her blood boil.

“Beck, you have a girlfriend.”

“Since when do you care about Tori?”

“Since you started treating her like shit. And you’re asking _me_ to change?”

“Yeah, I am! I’m not the one people call a ‘grunch!’”

“Well, maybe they should! Date every girl in Hollywood Arts so they’ll all know who you really are!”

“I did that! Because unlike you, they were willing to put out!”

Jade’s blood now froze. The words that passed through Beck’s mouth stopped time.

“You…you what?”

“I…I…” Beck stumbled.

“Beck, did you cheat on me when we dated?”

“I…I mean…”

“Oh. My god.”

“I wasn’t always in Canada.”

“Oh god. Oh god no.”

“Well, can you blame me?”

“Can I _blame_ you? Yes, absolutely I can blame you, you fucking prick! You’re a worthless sack of shit! Fuck you and everything that you stand for!”

“Oh, here we go! Jade’s throwing another tantrum!”

“I am not throwing a tantrum!”

“You see? It’s behavior like this that drives men away! You’re fucking impossible!”

“You shouldn’t even be classified as a man!”

“Any guy that dates you will leave you for someone better!”

Jade felt the tears well up in her eyes.

“You take that back!”

“Why should I? It’s fucking true!”

“You’re the one who wanted to get back together!”

“Go to hell, frigid bitch!”

With that, Beck hung up.

Jade threw down her phone, picked up her pillow, and screamed into it. She then grabbed her car keys and stormed down the stairs.

“Cancel my order” she told her mom. “I’m going out tonight.”

Before her mother had a chance to say anything, Jade slammed door shut and started the car.

Speeding down the highway, Jade crossed the Sunnydale town line in record time. Her car crawled down the black streets as she peered through her window at the cemetery. There were no signs of the slayers patrolling. Jade, with a hard gulp, wondered if she should go to Faith’s apartment, terrified of what she would find there.

Then, she remembered another place that the slayers frequented. Jade drove down Main Street and pulled up to The Bronze. Though she only visited once, the heat and the smell were still the same all those months ago. The 90’s wardrobe did not faze her as before. 

There, in middle of the dance floor, was Faith. All the frustration inside Jade at once dissipated. The first time she ever spotted Faith was on this dance floor. She still moved with the same sensuality as before. This time, Jade now knew how that sensuality felt around her. Jade also knew that she herself looked like an idiot, standing in the middle of the club, gawking at a sexy woman, but she didn’t care. After all this time, Faith still had the power to make Jade melt.

That all changed once Buffy came into view. Several guys surrounded the slayers. However, both seemed disinterested in any of them. Instead, they danced with each other. When Jade watched Faith and Buffy grasp their hands together up to the strobe lights, all her earlier feelings came flooding back.

Buffy then spotted someone across the club. Jade watched her run over and throw herself at a man wearing a large trench coat and copious amounts of hair gel.

 _Jesus, that’s her type?_ Jade thought.

At the same time Buffy found her beaux, Faith looked over to see Jade. Her face lit up and she shoved several club goers out of the way to get to her girlfriend. Once Faith reached her, she wrapped her arms around Jade’s shoulders and pressed their lips together. Jade did not kiss her back. No matter how soft Faith’s lips felt, Jade forced herself not to enjoy it.

“God, I’m so in the mood to take you right here” Faith growled in Jade’s ear, lightly pulling on her hair.

“I could tell from the way you danced with Buffy.”

“What?”

Jade grabbed Faith’s wrist and dragged her to an empty corner, away from the partying.

“What the hell, Faith? I thought you were patrolling!” Jade interrogated.

“We were! Now B and I are cooling off! Besides, there are lots of vampires in The Bronze. It’s a hotspot for bloodsucking.”

“Well, you and I must have different meanings of ‘cooling off’” Jade laughed sarcastically.

“What are you talking about, J?”

“I’m talking about you blowing me off for Buffy _for weeks_! And now I just so happen to find you two grinding up on each other!”

“Whoah! Where is this coming from? Do you think I’m cheating on you with Buffy? Because I’m not! She has a boyfriend!”

“You can still like her even if she’s taken.”

Faith groaned into her hands.

“Oh my god! How many times do we need to have this conversation? Jade, I don’t like Buffy!”

“That doesn’t mean shit when you’re spending all your time with her!”

“I _have_ to! We’re fucking slayers! You…” Faith sighed in frustration, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s means that there’s literally only two of us who share these powers and this responsibility because the rest before us fucking died. You have no idea what Buffy and I go through.”

“I killed a vampire!”

“By accident. And B staked the one that almost ate you.”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS SO GREAT ABOUT BUFFY ANYWAY?” Jade screamed. Her hands flailed and knocked a drink out of a passerby’s hands, spilling the liquid all over her.

As Jade grunted and tried wiping herself off, Faith crossed her arms and stared at Jade in realization.

“You’re jealous.”

Jade looked up from her shirt, eyes wide yet staring daggers at the same time.

“I am not jealous” she said coldly

“You totally are! It’s kind of cute, actually…”

“I AM NOT JEALOUS!”

“Jesus, J—”

“I AM NOT FUCKING JEALOUS! DON’T YOU EVER— ** _EVER_** —CALL ME THAT!”

“Jade chill the fuck out!”

“I AM NOT CHILLING THE FUCK OUT! HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SOMETHING THAT I AM NOT!”

“WELL YOU’VE ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING ON YOU, SO WHY THE HELL SHOULDN’T I STOOP TO YOUR LEVEL?” Faith screamed back.

“BECAUSE YOU NEVER COME HOME ANYMORE! IT’S ALL ‘BUFFY’ THIS AND ‘BUFFY’ THAT!”

“MY LIFE CAN’T REVOLVE AROUND YOU ALL THE DAMN TIME! I HAVE OTHER SHIT TO DO!”

“THAT DIDN’T FUCKING MATTER UNTIL BUFFY STARTED DRESSING AND ACTING LIKE YOUR DREAM GIRL! IS ALL THAT RESENTMENT FOR HER GONE? AND HER GROUP SHUTTING YOU OUT, IS THAT WATER UNDER THE FUCKING BRIDGE? IN FACT, WHY DO YOU STILL SEE ME NOW THAT YOU HAVE A CHANCE WITH BLONDIE? IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU, ALWAYS HAS BEEN! YOU’RE AN EGOMANIAC WITH NO SELF-RESPECT! YOU LET YOUR WATCHER DIE JUST SO YOU COULD SLEEP WITH A STRAIGHT GIRL! WELL GUESS WHAT, F? BUFFY’S NOT KAYLA! EVEN FLAT ON YOUR BACK, SHE STILL WOULDN’T FUCK YOU!”

“AND EVEN FLAT ON YOURS, BECK STILL DUMPED YOU! JUST LIKE _YOU_ DO WITH EVERY PERSON THAT HAS EVER CARED ABOUT YOU! CHRIST, WHAT I WOULD FUCKING KILL TO BE IN YOUR SHOES AND YOU’RE JUST PISSING IT AWAY! SURE, SPEND ALL YOUR TIME WITH ME, BUT MAYBE GET A FUCKING LIFE FIRST!”

Both breathed heavily, red faced and teary eyed.

“I can be just as much of a cunt as you” said Faith. “You throw shit, I throw it back.”

Jade looked worse than Faith, her face now a different color.

“I’m not—”

“I think you should leave” Faith interrupted.

Jade tried to swallow, but her throat closed.

“Buffy and I are pulling an all-nighter,” Faith continued, “and I won’t be home until the next morning. Don’t want to have you waiting for me.”

They both looked over at Buffy, smooching the trench coat man, completely unaware of the fight several feet away. They turned back to each other, full of seething intensity.

“Just go” Jade grumbled, looking down. “Enjoy your friend.”

Faith nodded.

“At least I have one.”

She walked back to the dance floor as Jade sprinted out the exit.

Jade’s hands clenched the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white. The sound of her heart pulsed through her ears. _Look at the road_ , she thought. _Keep looking at the road. Don’t think about anything else. Just look at the road._ When she made it back in L.A., she pulled over on a curb and let go of the breath she felt herself holding since leaving Sunnydale. The city lights taunted her. Jade wanted the world to cover her in darkness, like it did before.

 _Why did I think I deserved any better_? Jade thought.

Staring down the street, she noticed a movie theater on the corner. Before Faith, movies were her second home. She didn’t need to be herself or anyone else, just someone who can watch a screen. 

Arriving at the theater, Jade searched for the most depressing poster. She ended up buying tickets to a Spanish film she heard nothing about. Jade sat in the very back row, waiting for the lights to go down. That’s when she could cry. If someone caught her, they’d think it was just the movie invoking the tears and not anything else from her personal life. Jade could feel one trickle down her cheek.

“Jade?” a familiar voice asked. Jade turned to find Cat, holding a large bucket of popcorn.

“Cat? What are you doing here?”

“Tori and I are writing a review for our Foreign Film class. She’s right over there!” Cat waved to Tori, sitting several rows ahead. “Hey Tori! Isn’t the movie’s title so pretty? _Tu Cara es Hermosa Como Hemorrhoides_?”

“Maybe in your language, but not in this one!” Tori shouted back.

Cat giggled. She turned back to Jade.

“Do you want to sit with us?”

That was the last thing Jade wanted to do. Yet her eyes shifted between Cat’s eagerness and Tori’s nervousness. Neither girls knew Jade’s world was falling apart. Since nothing made sense anymore, Jade got up from her seat and sat with her former friends, Cat sitting in the middle.

“Everything okay, Jade?” Tori craned her neck.

“Fine” Jade glared.

“It’s just that your eyes look a little…red.”

“Oh! They match my hair!” Cat chimed.

“It’s th—the popcorn. The salt irritates me.” Jade furiously rubbed her eyes.

“But you don’t have any popcorn” pointed out Cat.

“Not actual popcorn!” Jade backtracked. “It’s some asshole’s stale popcorn breath hanging around the theater.” It was one of Jade’s lesser excuses, but it satisfied Cat and Tori.

“Hey Tori? Can I invite her?” asked Cat. Tori froze, the popcorn in her hand stuck midway.

“Invite me where?” questioned Jade.

“Well, after the movie, Tori says I can sleep over at her house! You should join us! It’d be like a slumber party! Can she, Tori?”

“Yeah, can I, Tori?” Jade teased.

Tori, now unfrozen, cleared her throat. She stared back at the two faces, one excited, one sarcastic.

“Well, Cat…” Tori started to say, “That’s up to Jade.”

Cat turned back to Jade with giant puppy dog eyes.

In any other situation, Jade would’ve gleefully screamed “No!” in Tori’s face. Tonight, she thought of the finer details. No way would she go back to her house. She couldn’t face her mother like this. The one place she wanted to go was now off limits. Where else could she stay?

The numbers 2:00 glowed on the oven clock. Cat and the Vega family were sound asleep. Jade, always the rebel, was not. Opting to sleep on the living room couch, she stared at the black ceiling, almost forcing her eyes to blink. She knew on the other side of the couch was that glorious window view of Los Angeles. Jade remembered the last time she looked out over that view, dreaming about the person she loved the most miles away from the lights. She couldn’t bear to turn around tonight. Tori’s spare pajamas clung tightly to Jade’s body. At least they were black. Jade, so used to wearing other people’s sleeping garments, hated their foreign smell. To her, all other clothes smelled liked Faith.

Deep down, Jade missed her. But right now, she needed to be angry. Angry at Faith. How dare she accuse Jade of jealousy! She let the rage once again bubble up inside. Jade didn’t know if the rage belonged to Faith or to herself. No, it was only for Faith. It’s all Faith’s fault. Jade had no part in their fight. She’s not the jealous type anymore. That all went away with Beck. Jade is different! Jade is better! She changed for the better because of Faith!

Didn’t she? 

Craving a distraction, Jade turned on her side, the spare blanket tangling between her legs. She pawed at the nearby remote and turned on the cable box. The television showed a rerun of _Celebrities Underwater._ Jade hated the show, how it always teased a celebrity drowning that never came. Nonetheless, she sank further into the cushions. The bright pictures and tinny cheering numbed her mind out of destructive thinking.

She didn’t even notice Tori walking downstairs into the living room.

“Jade? Are you still awake?” Tori questioned.

Too depressed to answer or even acknowledge Tori, Jade stayed silent. It wasn’t until Tori stood in front of her view that she moved.

“Oh! Sorry!” Tori apologized. “I thought you fell asleep in front of the TV, and I was about to turn it off. Why are you watching _Celebrities Underwater_ anyway? I thought you hated that show.”

“I do.”

“So…” Tori sat next to Jade, “why are you watching it?”

Again, Jade didn’t answer.

Tori muted the TV.

“Hey” Jade grumbled.

“I don’t want to wake anyone else up. Besides, they’re all underwater. What dialogue are we going to miss?”

Jade slightly shrugged. Both girls sat there in the dark, watching a silent game show. None of them moved, only staring straight forward. Out of the corner of her eye, Tori saw some lint sticking up from Jade’s pajama collar. Though she wanted to remove it, she feared Jade’s reaction if she touched her. Jade made clear several times that she did not want to anyone to touch her. Taking the chance, Tori tore off the lint and her knuckles slightly stroked Jade’s shoulders. She felt Jade tense under her touch. Tori tensed as well, expecting Jade’s wrath.

Instead, Jade started to cry.

Tori couldn’t hear her, but the television glare illuminating Jade’s tears. Feeling risky, Tori stroked Jade’s shoulder again more firmly. Jade cried harder. This led Tori to keep rubbing Jade’s shoulder, then stroking up and down her arm. Jade buried her face into the blanket, muffling her wails from the rest of the house. Being braver than she ever had before, Tori wrapped her arms around Jade, the hot tears dripping into her shirt.

After finally catching her breath, Jade spoke into the crook of Tori’s arm.

“What was that?” Tori asked.

“Get off of me!” Jade pushed herself away from Tori and hugged her knees into her chest.

“I was only trying to help!”

“Of course you were. Classic Tori, always trying to help but fucking over everyone else instead.”

“Jade, you’re the one that cried in my arms!”

“And you’ll never speak of it unless you want to wake up in the ocean!”

Tori threw her hands in exasperation. “God, sometimes you’re such a bitch!”

“And what does that make you?”

“Why are you so mad at me?”

“I’m always mad at you.”

“I know, but now you’re, like, especially mad.”

“Hey, don’t go Dr. Phil on me! One second you act all nice, and the next _BAM!_ You set me up.”

“I had never set you up!”

“Oh, so when you invited my ex to your party, you weren’t laughing at _my_ humiliation?”

“No! Jade…I wasn’t laughing at you.”

Jade stared at Tori, surprised. Her body softened.

“What?”

“I was—”

Interrupting Tori was Jade’s loud Norwegian death metal ringtone blaring from the coffee table. As Tori covered her ears from the surprise music, Jade’s eyes widened when she noticed the name— _Faith._ Snatching her phone up, she quickly denied the call, praying that Tori did not see the name as well.

A minute of silent passed, and Tori calmed down enough to remove her hands from her ears.

“Sorry about that” Jade apologized.

“Happens to the best of us.”

Jade twisted the blanket in her hands, waiting for Tori to speak again.

“Who’s Faith?”

Tori watched Jade cower back into her tight ball.

“Why on earth do you think I’d tell you?”

They were back at square one. Jade had once again shut herself from the world. Tori sighed. What she planned to say she didn’t think would tear down Jade’s walls completely, but it was something needed to be said.

“Remember how Beck showed up late to the party?”

Jade nodded, staring down at the carpet.

“That’s because he wasn’t invited.”

Jade froze.

“I took what you said to heart earlier that day, about his behavior and how you handled it. I was so relieved that you justified my feelings. Ever since we became a couple, I wasn’t ‘Tori’ anymore, but ‘Beck’s girlfriend.’ The party was a way to feel like myself again. Everyone kept asking me where Beck was, and it drove me crazy. I was the first to notice you two out on the patio. I was about to intervene until you slammed his face into the window. Watching ‘The Hunk of Hollywood Arts’ slide down that window made my night. So, I laughed. Then you cursed me out and left before I had a chance to explain myself.”

Jade slowly unfurled herself, taking in Tori’s story.

“So…you really weren’t laughing at me? You were laughing…”

“…At Beck’s ass getting pummeled like a little bitch, yes.”

They both laughed at that. Jade’s felt her lungs heave. She hadn’t laughed in a while.

“Never interrupt me again” Jade threatened, though it came out like a joke.

“You know, you actually surprised me.”

“I’m an unpredictable person.”

“I know, but I always think of you as clever. Like, you use your brains in a fight. I’ve never seen you get physical.”

And Jade’s lungs tightened once again. Even when she wasn’t here, Jade’s life somehow involved Faith. The last person she wanted to talk about came from a question the second-to-last person she wanted to talk to asked. As Jade slumped herself on the back of the couch, her eyes trailed the space between them. Try as she might, Jade had to admit there was only Tori now. Her mother still avoided her, her friends still hated her, and now she ruined her relationship with Faith. What else could she lose?

Jade took in a deep breath. She couldn’t bring herself to look at the other girl.

“I guess I picked it up.”

“From where? Who?”

“My girlfriend.”

Jade glimpsed at Tori’s shocked expression. She then watched it turn into a moment of clarity.

“Faith” Tori confirmed.

Jade nodded.

Now it was Tori’s turn to fall back on the couch.

“H-how long?” she stuttered.

“A couple months.”

“Is…is that where you go—”

“Yeah.”

Tori swallowed.

“Were…were you crying…because of her?”

Jade didn’t answer. Her face pinched itself to hold back emerging tears.

“Jade!” Tori exclaimed. “You don’t have to talk right now. I—I was just curious. I’m sorry for prying.”

The other girl nodded a _thank you_.

“Hey…” Tori continued, “If you ever want to talk about…well, anything, you can come sit with us. At lunch.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to sit with you guys anymore.”

“Oh my god, no! Not at all! Jade, we miss you so much!”

“Then how come no one asked me to join your table or do _anything else_?”

“We…we were scared. We all thought _you_ hated _us_. We thought that since you weren’t dating Beck, you had no reason to talk to us anymore. Plus, you were going away all the time for… _reasons_ …so, we just assumed.”

Jade slightly chuckled. “Wow. We’re all idiots. Cat was the only one to reach out to me.”

Tori chuckled with her. “That says something pretty dark when Cat is the smart one.”

Both laughed again. As it died down, they soon went back to staring at the television.

“Welp, I can’t sleep anymore” said Tori.

“Me neither” said Jade.

“Want to keep watching _Celebrities Underwater_?”

“…Sure.”

They sat on the couch watching David Schwimmer gasp for air. Jade reveled in the silent moment. She pulled the blanket up to her chin and hid her fears and insecurities for the next morning. Even remembering that Faith called her, Jade felt unburdened. Faith’s phone call wouldn’t bother her. Faith wouldn’t bother her. Now she would take Faith’s advice. She would start having a life. Just like Tori’s party, tonight Jade would feel like herself again.

That included ignoring her voicemail.

_Jade? Oh my god, Jade…please…please pick up. Jade, something…something bad happened. I—it happened too fast and I couldn’t stop… I know it’s late and I know you’re still mad but…I need you. I need to hear your voice. I…I’m sorry. About everything. About tonight and…and… oh god, I can’t breathe. Jade, I never meant to hurt anyone. You need to believe that. Tell me that you believe me. Tell me that this will be okay. That I’m okay. Tell me that I’m okay. Fuck, I’m so scared. I’m so fucking scared. Please, please talk to me, Jade._


	12. Everything Worked Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W: This story is slowly getting into depth about murder. This chapter also includes an incest joke and a drug joke. Viewer discretion is advised

Everything felt fast. The car felt fast, speeding down that too familiar highway. The view from her window felt fast, images blurring by and disappearing the second they came into eyesight. Most of all, her heart felt fast, pulsing like a thermometer in 100-degree heat. But that’s what Jade needed. She needed to be fast. Fast enough to reach Faith’s door before it was too late.

Jade finally heard her voice message while lazily chewing an English muffin. She woke up groggy after spending most of the night wide awake. She found Cat and Tori eating in the kitchen, Tori having prepared a small breakfast for all three.

“Morning Jade!” both Cat and Tori greeted.

“Your perkiness gives me a rash” Jade glared.

“My brother gives people rashes whenever he bites them” said Cat.

Both Jade and Tori stared at her.

“Honestly, Cat, sometimes your uselessness leaves me speechless” said Jade.

“Thank you!” Cat responded.

Tori, refusing to take part in the conversation, drank her orange juice.

The girls spent the next few minutes eating quietly. Tori and Cat then discussed the rest of their essay assignment and Jade took the opportunity to mess around on her phone.

Her thumb paused at her voicemail alert. Though the tension had softened a little, the fight still lingered in Jade’s mind. She assumed Faith called to apologize but Jade still couldn’t decide if she wanted to make up just yet. Last night was hurtful and both women acted as the worst versions of themselves. Could the fight end so easily?

Nonetheless, Jade played the voicemail, listening and chewing her breakfast at the same time. Then the English muffin dropped from her grip as the message went on. Jade’s insides curled as she listened to Faith’s sobs and hyperventilating. Just as the message finished, Jade bolted from the table, scaring Cat and Tori out of their conversation. As Jade gathered her things and put on her shoes, the other girls kept asking what happened. Tori shouted, “You’re still in my pajamas!” but Jade had already slammed the door shut.

Now she sped down the stretch of road, her breathing matching the legal miles per hour. She needed to see Faith. This wasn’t about their fight anymore. Something else happened to Faith, and Jade anguished over what it was. During her car ride, she berated herself.

 _Shit!_ she thought. _Shit shit shit! Why did I hang up on her? Why didn’t I answer my phone? I don’t care what Tori thinks of me! She called me hours ago. What happened? Is she dead? Oh god, please don’t be dead. I’m sorry for everything last night, just please don’t be dead. Why didn’t I stay? Why didn’t I push myself to wait for her? I just had to go to some stupid movie and sleep over at fucking Tori’s house! I wasn’t there for her like an actual good partner! Please don’t be dead, Faith. Please open the door when I get there._

At last, she pulled into the parking lot. Jade almost tripped over herself from sprinting to Faith’s door. She finally caught her breath standing in front of the white wood. After the rush of getting to Faith, Jade now dreaded being here. The possibility of Faith not answering the door terrified her.

Sucking in a bruising breath, Jade firmly knocked. She could feel her blood freeze while waiting.

The knob turned and Faith appeared. They both eyed each other, mirroring the first time they met.

Faith looked…fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Her clothes weren’t torn, her face was unscathed, and no serious injuries were visible. She leaned on the doorway with her usual confident swagger.

As much as Jade tried hiding it, Faith could tell she was nervous. She peered at Jade’s tight jaw and her slight shaking. Then Faith gave her signature half-smile.

“C’mon in” she said.

Jade entered, still fazed at Faith’s casualness. Her room had no unusual disarray to it. Did anything happen _at all_?

“You looked stressed” Faith said, walking over to her breakfast nook and pouring coffee. “You have an exam today, right? For your acting class? Don’t sweat it. You’re better than most of whatever crap Hollywood’s shitting out these days.” She returned to Jade, giving her a piping hot cup. “Here. It’ll sooth the jitters. It’s sketchy-motel-room brewed, so it’ll put hair on your chest too.”

“Thanks, but I’m good.”

“You sure?” Faith asked as she poured herself coffee. “You can totally pull off a hairy chest.”

Jade put down her cup.

“Faith…are you okay?”

Faith stopped pouring at looked up at Jade.

“Yeah…I’m fine.”

“Are…are you sure?”

“Yeah” Faith repeated more firmly. She sat on top of her tiny counter. “Is this about our fight?”

Jade did a double take.

“What?”

“Our fight” Faith sipped her coffee. “Did you actually forget about it?” she half chuckled.

Jade was even more confused.

“No, I didn’t. That… god, last night was so shitty.”

Faith only nodded, staring down at her coffee. Jade waited for her to speak, but Faith stayed silent.

“Can we…can we agree that we were both in the wrong and didn’t mean what we said?” pleaded Jade. “I just—that was awful and I’m so sorry that I escalated it.”

Faith hopped off the counter and walked to Jade. “No, you… some of what you said was true. I am sorry for blowing you off in the worst way.”

“Are you making a sex joke?” Jade couldn’t help but lightly blush.

“Maybe” Faith smirked and wrapped arms around Jade’s shoulders. “You just got out of a relationship, and I should’ve known that you’re still insecure about stuff.”

“You shouldn’t stop living your life because of me.”

“You are my life” Faith kissed the top of Jade’s head. Jade smiled.

“So, are you and Buffy still patrolling together?”

Jade couldn’t see Faith’s hands clenching together around the back of her neck.

“B…Buffy and I are taking a break, if that’s the term. We’re not patrolling like we’ve done recently. I don’t want to risk it.”

“But it’s okay, you can—”

Faith interrupted Jade with a long kiss.

“Don’t. Want. To. Risk. It.” Faith said against Jade’s lips, tapping out the words with her fingers on Jade’s head.

Jade desperately wanted to stay in this moment of forgiveness. Faith’s warmth was her happy place. But she still feared for Faith’s safety. Jade grabbed Faith’s wrists and brought their hands together.

“Listen, babe, the reason I came here wasn’t because of our fight.”

“Oh?” Faith slightly cocked her head to the side.

“I came because I listened to your voicemail.”

“What voicemail?”

Jade stared at Faith and her eyes widened.

“Th—the voicemail? The one you sent me last night? You were crying about something that happened.”

“Jade, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jade, now fearing she had gone crazy, scrambled to find her phone.

“This one!” she almost screamed in Faith’s face. Jade played the message on speaker. As Faith’s choked-up voice garbled through her phone, Jade studied her face. It was quiet and neutral, showing no signs of any emotion. When the message finished, Faith slightly hung her head and laughed to herself.

“What?” asked Jade, about to blow a fuse.

“That message…I was drunker than a Senator. Buffy and I got so high and mighty with our slayer egos we thought ‘Hey, let’s do whatever the fuck we want.’ So, knowing me, as the Einstein that I am, I may have broken in and robbed a weapons store. I called you when the police started arresting us after we tripped the burglar alarm.”

“Holy shit” said Jade. “Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah. To make the story even more epic, we broke out of the cop car _with our handcuffs still on_ and the cops crashed into a tree.”

Instead of the shower of adoration Faith expected, Jade slapped her on the arm.

“God damnit! You had me worried sick, and now you tell me you were just drunk?”

Faith lightly sighed. “Sorry for freaking you out. I don’t like scaring you.”

Jade sighed with her. “It’s okay. You’re fucking awesome and a badass, but just try not to do it again, okay?” She pulled Faith into a kiss on the cheek.

“K.” Faith looked down at the floor.

“Can I borrow some clothes? I need to get out of these pajamas.”

“You go to an art school. Do people really care what you wear?”

“Yes, they’re called faculty. PJ’s aren’t allowed.”

“We live in backward times.”

“That we do.” Jade kissed Faith’s other cheek, grabbed a random flannel shirt and black jeans, and headed into the bathroom. When she came out, Faith had not left her spot, still looking down at the ground.

“I think your coffee’s cold now” said Jade.

Faith looked at her cup.

“Oh. I guess I’ll reheat it.”

“Alright then. I’m off.” Jade titled Faith’s chin and gave her a kiss goodbye. Her heart fluttered as she thought about all the old married couples who live this morning every day.

Faith shouted “Jade!” just as she was about to leave.

“Yeah?” Jade turned back.

Faith thought about something for a moment. Then she shifted her stance and gave a small smile.

“Good luck on your test.”

“Thanks” Jade smiled and left.

The rustle of Hollywood Arts’ lunch hour hadn’t changed. Kids lined up at Festus’s food truck and ate at their respected tables. Many of the dancers took the free time to show off their moves and the rest of the student body ignored them. The balmy Los Angeles sun shone down on the blacktop cafeteria. The lunchtime atmosphere carried on as usual.

Yet Jade’s nails marked her sandwich takeout container from her constricting grip. If Jade squeezed any tighter, she swore her fingers would puncture through the plastic.

 _This is a bad idea_ she kept repeating to herself. _This is a bad idea._

Fighting against her mind, Jade forced her legs to move. When the thoughts of doubt grew louder, she took another step. This continued until her mind became deafening and Jade stood in front of her friends.

The group entangled themselves in a lively conversation but halted in silence when they saw her. Jade’s throat felt dryer than the California air.

“Mind if I sit with you guys?” she asked.

Everyone eyed each other, unsure of what to say. It was Cat who broke the silence.

“Yay!” she shouted, jumping out of her seat, and racing to hug Jade.

Jade managed to pull out her scissors to stop Cat from the contact. Cat held her hands up and backed away, still grinning from ear to ear. Jade then took a seat between Tori and Cat. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tori give her a small smile.

The group went back to their conversation, like if the drama with Jade never happened. Everyone except for Beck, whose sole focus now became eating his lunch in silence. Jade tried not to notice, pushing herself to listen to her friend’s daily argument.

“You can’t possibly be serious!” cried Robbie.

“I’m telling you, it’s true! I just found out in English!” defended Andre.

“Do I want to know?” asked Jade.

“No, but you will” sighed Tori.

“I think it’s funny” giggled Cat.

“It’s not funny, Cat! It’s disgusting!” Robbie shrieked.

“Why would they teach this to kids and ruin our fragile minds?” pondered Rex.

“Guys, it’s not that big of a deal” said Beck, breaking his silence.

“Oh!” Robbie flabbergasted. “Not that big of a deal? My entire day is ruined thanks to Andre!”

“Hey, I didn’t come up with it!” Andre shouted.

“Well, what am I supposed to do with this information?” Robbie flailed, swinging Rex in the air.

“Put me down!” cried Rex. “You’re ruining my Jewfro!”

“I am already regretting this” Jade muttered.

“Then you can go. No one’s stopping you” said Beck flatly, not looking up from his burrito.

The group fell silent due to Beck’s comment. The air held thick with awkwardness.

“Hey, Andre,” Tori stepped in, “maybe you can fill Jade in on what you said.”

“Um…” Andre stumbled, “Wh—what I said was today in English, we learned that the dot over the ‘i’ is called a—”

“Don’t say it again!” cried Robbie.

“Dude!” said Andre. He rolled his eyes at Robbie’s whining. “The dot above the ‘i’ is called—”

“A TITTLE!” Robbie interrupted. “It’s called a tittle!”

Jade stared at Robbie for a solid minute.

“That…that is what ruined your day” she said.

“What sick language professor decided THAT’S what it’s called?” Rex asked.

“I’m surrounded by five-year-olds” Jade rubbed her temples.

“Hey!” Cat took offense. “My psychologist says I gravitate towards elementary-school-age characteristics!”

“Yes, Cat, we know. You showed us your medication referrals” said Tori.

Robbie turned towards Andre.

“You’re lying!” he accused.

“Why would I be lying?” asked Andre.

“You’re messing with us because Rex still owes you money!”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You took the money from _my_ wallet, and now you’re just rubbing salt into the wound!”

Andre turned towards Jade.

“You are kind of right” he said to her.

Jade gave Andre a half smile.

“You’re lying, and I’m going to prove it!” declared Robbie.

“Don’t pull out your Pear Pad” begged Jade.

Too late, Robbie struggled to pull out his 3-foot by 3-foot Pear Pad.

“How do you carry that all day?” questioned Tori.

“It provides information at its most convenient!” Robbie bolstered.

“And provides scoliosis as well!” said Andre.

As Robbie festered, Cat shifted to face Jade.

“So, Jade, is everything okay?” she asked.

Jade’s chewing slowed.

“Yeah, you left in such a hurry” added Tori.

“Wait, you were at Tori’s house?” Beck chimed.

Jade glared at her ex-boyfriend.

“Yeah, I was. Here.” Jade reached into her bag and handed Tori back her pajamas.

“Oh…Thanks.” said Tori, unsure of the return.

“So, what happened?” Cat asked again.

Jade struggled to think of an excuse. She just started eating with her friends again; she couldn’t drop the sapphic bomb on them this early.

“Oh, um…my mom…saw a guy on TV who looked like my dad and she freaked” Jade ended up saying.

“Who was the guy?” questioned Cat.

“Some stockbroker from New York. He was on the news, I guess.”

“I think your dad has more of a Kevin Costner vibe” said Tori.

“In poor career decisions, maybe” Jade scoffed.

“Oh my god!” Robbie shouted, his Pear Pad covering his entire face.

“Did you spell tittle wrong?” asked Jade.

“No! There’s some breaking news! Police found a body in a lake!”

The entire group gasped.

“Is it dead?” asked Cat.

“No, it did a tap dance when they found it—YES it’s dead!” Robbie said sarcastically.

“Do they know who it is?” asked Beck.

“Not yet. They’re bringing it in for autopsy.”

“Did it happen in L.A.?” asked Tori.

“No. It happened in some town that I never heard of…I think it’s called Sunnydale.”

Apparently, today was the day Jade kept dropping food out of her hands.

Throughout the rest of her classes, Jade spent less time concentrating on schoolwork and more time concentrating on her phone. News of the dead body traveled around campus shortly after the story broke. Naturally, most expected Jade to be all in the coverage, since small town murder fit her aesthetic. It surprised everyone that Jade distanced herself from the story as much as possible.

During class time, Jade sent rapid-fire texts to Faith. She spammed her phone with an onslaught of _Text me back. Text me back. Text me back._

Faith did not text her back, and it pushed Jade ever closer to the brink of insanity.

It came to a head in Sikowitz’s class, the one Jade had her exam. As the other students performed their scenes, Jade sat in the back bouncing her leg as if she drank too much caffeine, which was half true.

 _How can I perform_ right now? Jade thought to herself. _Sure, everyone’s talking about the body, but they don’t know Sunnydale like I do. Faith still hasn’t texted me back. Jesus Christ, this is fucking killing me. Why did I leave her so soon? Maybe if I stayed a little longer—_

Sikowitz’s door opened and in walked Lane, the school guidance counselor.

“Sorry to interrupt” he apologized. “Jade, can you come with me?”

All eyes turned to Jade. She heard a few kids snicker, but they soon clammed up when Jade stared daggers at them. She grabbed her bag and left the classroom.

“Who did I upset this time?” she asked Lane.

“Oh, no one.”

“Huh. New record. Think I’m losing my edge” Jade joked.

Lane gave a confused smile.

“So, why did you pull me out of class?”

“Um, Jade…your cousin is here. She says there’s an urgent family matter, and she needs to talk to you. She’s sitting in the front office.”

“What?”

The last time Jade saw any of her cousins was when they banned her from the summer family reunion barbeque. She convinced the younger members that the meat they ate was human, and no one talked to her after that. Who would reach out to her now?

Once they had reached the front office, Jade almost choked on her own tongue.

Sitting across the front desk was Faith.

The second Faith turned her head, Jade sprinted to her and wrapped her in a tight bear hug.

“Oh, thank god!” she cried into Faith’s shoulder. “Thank god thank god thank god!”

Faith smiled and tried to hug Jade back, but Jade had trapped her arms under her biceps.

“Gotta chill out, J” Faith warned. “I told them we’re related.”

Jade giggled warmly in Faith’s ear.

“Well in that case…” Jade ended the hug, grabbed Faith’s face, and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

They then turned to a horrified Lane.

“God, I haven’t seen you since the last BBQ!” Jade said.

“Yeah, glad to finally catch up!” added Faith. She grabbed Jade’s hand and they rushed out of the office and out of campus.

They couldn’t hold their laughter and ended up howling like hyenas. Faith also couldn’t keep her hands to herself, so she kissed and nibbled Jade’s ear as her hands roamed whatever bare skin on Jade’s chest she could find.

“How the hell did you get here?” asked Jade once they calmed down.

“Well since my whole wardrobe screams ‘hitchhiker chic,’ I thought I’d use it to my advantage. Fuck, I respect you on a whole new level for driving that long-ass distance every day.”

“Thanks.” Their hands intertwined, hung down by their sides.

“So, how about going to my place?” Faith asked.

“Seriously!” Jade slapped Faith’s shoulder in a joking manner.

“Do you want me to meet your mom instead?”

Jade sighed and rolled her eyes.

“No” she said.

“Thought so. Take me to your car.”

As they walked to the student parking lot, Jade remembered that, oh yes, she had an ass load more questions for Faith.

“Wait, why are you taking me out of school?”

“Since I did it with Buffy, I should do the same for you.”

“Glad to know you’re holding me to such a high standard” Jade said sarcastically.

“I am” Faith doubled down. “Why would I treat my coworker like that but not _my fucking girlfriend_?”

“I don’t think you’d want to hear my opinion.”

Faith smirked as they made it to Jade’s car. She then opened the backseat door and Jade followed suit. Crammed together, they started making out. Jade clung to Faith like a spider monkey, her legs wrapped around her torso and her hands in her hair. Faith moaned once their tongues brushed together, and her fingers trailed down the knots of Jade’s spine. Gulping each other down, a knock on the back windshield interrupted their heavy petting. They locked eyes on a disapproving school adult, and Faith flipped them off. Though the unamused look of the man was humorous, it did kill the romance.

“So, did you pull me out just to make out?” asked Jade.

Faith gave a sly grin.

“No. I had something better in mind.” She then reached inside her oversized jacket.

“Drugs?” Jade guessed.

Faith laughed.

“Sadly, I had to give my stash to the driver as payment” she joked. She then asked, “Did you actually want some?” in a more serious tone.

“I’m good. Still digesting the cocaine that I had for breakfast.”

“Good.”

After some rustling, Faith pulled out a VHS copy of _The Scissoring_. Jade grabbed it out of her hands.

“How—”

“It was a bitch to find. Some guy posted it on eBay, and—breaking my rule of staying off the Internet—I had to buy it for you. It was supposed to be your birthday present, but I couldn’t wait that long.”

Faith couldn’t help but stare at Jade, who had so much love in her eyes it was almost unbearable. Jade leaned over to give Faith a long kiss.

“Thank you” she whispered against Faith’s lips.

“You’re welcome” Faith pecked back.

“We gonna watch it tonight?”

“Or we could watch it and pause halfway to fuck.”

“I like both options” Jade grinned.

They both moved to the front and driver’s seats. Jade pulled out of the Hollywood Arts parking lot and merged onto the highway for Sunnydale. As Faith fiddled with the music, Jade still had questions left unanswered.

“How come you didn’t answer my texts?”

Faith groaned.

“I am so sorry about that, babe. Blame Gary the truck driver.”

“Is that the guy who picked you up?”

“Yeah. He practically drooled all over me, he was that horny. Answering my girlfriend’s texts would get me ditched about halfway down the highway, so I had to put my phone on silent. If it makes you feel any better, once he exposed himself, I kicked him in the balls and told him to go fuck himself.”

“Did one of his testicles explode?”

“Unfortunately, not.”

“Well, we can’t always get what we want. Your apology is still accepted though.”

“Thanks” Faith smiled.

“God, what a crazy day. _Twice_ I thought you were dead.”

Faith’s smile fell.

“Really.”

“Yeah. My whole school’s talking nonstop about that body the police found in Sunnydale lake. Do you know anything about it?”

Faith turned away from Jade and sighed out her nose.

“No. I don’t.”

“Do you think it was a vampire?”

“Maybe. That’s for the coroner to decide. Puncture wounds and all that shit.”

“Or was it another type of demon?”

“I don’t know, Jade! Can we—can we not talk about it?”

“Why? Are…are you feeling guilty for not stopping it?”

Faith stared out past the windshield for a long time. Jade glanced at her girlfriend. She was never this quiet.

“Yeah. I am.”

For the next several hours, Jade and Faith hardly left their bed. They spent their time alternating between watching _The Scissoring_ on a constant loop or going to town on each other. Only twice did they leave the comfort of the mattress and their bodies. The first is when Faith, loosely wrapped in one of the bed sheets, answered the knock on their door and tipped the pizza delivery guy.

“Well you gave him quite a story to tell his friends” joked Jade.

“He probably deserves more than whatever hourly wage he’s getting” said Faith.

The second is after the movie ended the fourth time around. Jade took the opportunity to use the bathroom. Faith channel surfed as she waited.

Jade came back with a mildly concerned look on her face.

“Hey, babe?” she asked Faith, “Um…this might sound stupid considering, you know, that we…”

“Spit it out, J.”

“Are you on your period?”

Faith looked at her with great confusion. She stared at both their naked bodies and the white bed sheets.

“Pretty much ‘everything,’” Faith chuckled and gestured to everything, “suggests that I’m not.”

“I know! That’s why I said it might be a dumb question!”

“So, why’d you ask in the first place?”

“Because I saw some blood on the floor in the bath—”

Faith then leapt out of bed, not bothering to put clothes on, and headed for the bathroom.

“Shit!” she yelled. “Goddamnit!”

“It’s fine, I was just—”

“No, it’s not! I just cleaned the whole damn thing—”

“Faith, calm—”

“Just—just get out, okay? I’ll be done in a minute.”

Jade, not wanting to upset Faith anymore, left her in the bathroom. Heading back to bed, she noticed the remote on the edge of it and the random cooking show the television screen blared. Following in her girlfriend’s footsteps, Jade channel-surfed until the words _BREAKING NEWS_ interrupted one of the programs.

“We’ve just received an update on the body found in Sunnydale lake this afternoon” said a news reporter. “We can now confirm that the identity of the body belongs to Allan Finch, Deputy Mayor of Sunnydale Mayor Richard Wilkins. The autopsy report confirms that Finch died of a fatal puncture to the heart. We now go live to a press conference where Mayor Wilkins will address these recent developments.”

The cameras cut to the mayor standing outside of town hall. Jade was about to listen to what he had to say until she heard “Holy shit” behind her shoulder.

Faith stood in the doorway, shocked.

“Faith, I—I know you said you didn’t want to talk about this,” Jade tried explaining herself, “but it just came on and—”

“I need to go.” Faith scrambled to put on clothes and grab her weapons.

“What? Why? It’s not even dark out yet!”

“I know, but…but there’s some—some demon out there trying to get to the Mayor. It’s taking down his lackeys, and I need to stop it!”

“Faith,” Jade reached out to grab Faith’s wrist, “please be careful. You’re so strong, but this all feels different somehow. I’m worried that you’ll get hurt.”

Faith looked down at Jade’s pleading eyes. They were so full of worry, but still so full of love. Love that Faith believed she didn’t deserve. She bent down to kiss Jade.

“I am always coming home to you, no matter what” Faith said and kissed the top of Jade’s head.

“I love you” Jade said as Faith closed the door. She flopped back down on the bed.

 _Stabbed in the heart_ she thought. _That’s some hard-core demon_.

Jade had fallen asleep when the door creaked open. She woke up to Faith, silently walking to the closet and putting her weapons away.

Even though the apartment was dark, Jade could tell something had happened to Faith. She looked exhausted, but not the same exhausted as staying out all night fighting bad guys. She looked like an empty shell, as if someone ripped the life out of her.

“Did everything work out?” Jade mumbled from her side of the bed.

Faith looked at her. If she was surprised that Jade was awake, she didn’t show it.

“Yeah” Faith said, no changing infliction in her voice. “Everything worked out.”

Jade smiled sleepily. She reached out her arm to pull Faith into bed. Faith did not fall into Jade’s arms, and instead walked around to the other side of the bed. Jade snuggled into her, her hand rubbing Faith’s back.

“Want to talk about it?” Jade asked.

Faith turned to Jade. Her eyes looked dead. Faith then pressed REWIND on the remote so they could re-watch _The Scissoring._ Jade took this as a “no.”

Halfway through the movie, Jade fell asleep, her head in Faith’s lap. Faith, however, watched the entire movie until the screen became static. She absent-mindedly played with Jade’s hair. Faith did not go to sleep that night. She stared straight ahead into the darkness.

The next day, Jade drove to Faith’s apartment after school like she normally did. When she arrived at Faith’s door, she read the sign that hung above her room number.

_VACANT_


	13. Welcome To The Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuity Warning: So far, I've tried to match the BTVS timeline as close as possible. This chapter, however, gets a little muddy. As of right now, this takes place in both spans of S3E16 and S3E17 ("Dopplelgangland" and "Enemies," to be exact). This might change in further writing or editing, but this where we are right now. If the appeal of my story was just for my timeline canon, then sorry about that. For everyone else, enjoy my FINALLY updated chapter!

Even though it was one word, Jade still couldn’t process it. The _VACANT_ sign hung limply, knocking on the door against the wind. She ran her thumb down the letters, hoping the situation would make sense somehow. One word, and it changed her world. Jade sighed, her fingernails digging into her palm. Of course nothing made sense. This is Sunnydale. When did it ever?

Jade unlocked her phone and skimmed down her conversations, searching for a text she knew did not exist.

 _How could Faith not tell me this?_ she thought. Jade sent several _wtf_ messages but received nothing back. Feeling scared and frustrated, she headed to the front office of the motel to confront the proprietor.

A bell clanged over the front door when she opened it. She entered a run-down lobby, complete with flickering fluorescent lights, the smell of mothballs, and one television set rustling with static. A lone man stood pushing the squeaky rotating shelves of postcards featuring other Californian towns. The disgruntled goth took him aback, and he bee-lined to the other side of the room. Jade menacingly stared at the man’s avoidance, and then rolled her eyes. She walked to the empty front desk and rang the bell for help.

Nobody came.

Jade rang again, and again no one showed. Having about enough, Jade leaned over the desk and screamed “HEY!” at the top of her lungs.

The disheveled owner with his greasy face and patchy beard slithered towards her.

“What the hell do you want?” he asked.

“What I want,” said Jade, “is to know why there’s a _VACANT_ sign hanging on Door 23!”

“Because it’s vacant.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious. _How_ did it get there?”

Mumbling profanities under his breath, the man tapped away on his computer.

“Door 23, door 23…Ah, there she is. Moved out this morning. Shame. I’m already missing that ass” he reminisced.

Jade slammed the blades of her scissors down on the desk.

“I am this fucking close to losing it. Tell me where the fuck is my girlfriend is or you get to choose which artery that I’m sticking this in” she referred to her scissors.

The man stared at Jade, looking her up and down.

“Oh. It’s you” he said.

Jade raised an eyebrow as he bent under the desk. He came back up with a crumpled piece of paper in his hand.

“She said to give this to you. She also apologized that she couldn’t text you. Her new landlord liked the idea of a scavenger hunt, apparently.”

 _Her new landlord?_ Jade thought. She left as quickly as she could, holding the paper tight in her grip.

It took an hour to find Faith’s new home. Mostly it was because of the directions themselves. Whoever Faith’s new proprietor was, they sure loved using words like “ten paces,” “fortnight,” or “thou hast made an error of judgement.”

 _Could they at least translate “paces” into miles?_ Jade thought.

The last phrase came up more often than needed. The directions intended to send Jade on the wrong streets or make the wrong turns. Sometimes, it even asked her to stop altogether. One direction was to stop in front of a tree (“I really like this tree. I just wanted you to look at it”).

On instructions like these, Jade would crumple the paper and smash it with her fist multiple times. Every time it happened, she would text Faith, begging for actual directions. Faith never answered, and Jade hit the paper again. Nonetheless, Jade unfolded it and carried on. The directions became harder and harder to read between the deep creases.

Finally, Jade arrived at her destination. But she didn’t realize it at first. The last stop was in the parking lot of Sunnydale City Hall.

She flipped the paper over countless times. _This can’t be right_ she thought. _Why would Faith be in the city hall? How could she even_ live _in it?_ Yet no further directions appeared on the paper, and it was the only paper she had. Jade sent one final text to Faith.

_Jade: If this is a prank, I swear to God_

No answer.

Jade gave a long, heavy sigh through her nose and sank down her car seat. She stared out the side window at the city hall. The white paint shone brightly against the hot sun. The clocktower indicated it was five minutes until 4. With nothing else to lose, Jade left her car and walked to the front doors.

Entering the building, Jade’s footsteps echoed through the empty hallway. The shiny wooden floors and pictures of long deceased former mayors added to the eerie vibe of the lack of people inside. Didn’t this place have any security guards? Secretaries? A mayor?

When Jade reached the end of the hall, the last questioned soon had an answer.

Sitting a desk covered in documents, a man in a muted green suit wrote in his daily planner. Jade recognized him from television as The Mayor. Too invested in his work to look up, she hesitantly knocked on the side of the door frame. The Mayor sat up and the light in his eyes grew brighter. He promptly stood up from his leather swivel chair with a white-toothy smile.

“Jade West, the lady of the hour!” The Mayor briskly made his way to her and shook her hand. He then looked down at her hand in amazement. “Fantastic! Young people don’t have firm grips in their handshakes nowadays, but the same can’t be said for you! I knew I would like you already! Please, pull up a chair!”

“Uh…thanks” said Jade, very dumbfounded. Still, she took a seat. “So,” she started to say, “I’m here because of Faith—”

“Who isn’t?” The Mayor laughed at his own joke and lightly squeezed Jade’s shoulder. “I know, I know. Faith’s waiting upstairs, but I think she can wait a little longer. Patience builds character. I figured that since you’ll be coming around here quite often, we might as well get to know each other. Say, it’s happy hour! How about a drink?”

“Sure!”

“Excellent! What juice are you a fan of? Apple? Orange? Cranberry? Cran-Apple? Personally, I’ve been drinking carrot juice for my health, but it’s not my cup of tea. Would you rather have tea instead?”

“Actually, I’m fine.”

“Suit yourself. Gives me an excuse not to drink carrot juice.” The Mayor sat back down. The two now faced each other. Jade could feel sweat prickle on the back of her neck, but she didn’t know why.

“Now, since you’re here, I assume my scavenger hunt was successful?” he asked.

“Well, that’s one way to put it. Nice tree.”

“Isn’t it? Gosh, we have so much in common already!”

Jade gave a small smile to The Mayor’s ginormous one.

“So, Mister…um…”

“Wilkins. Mayor Wilkins. Oh, silly me! I should have told you that before! I’m so used to meeting Sunnydale residents day-by-day that I completely forgot you’re an out-of-towner! I should thank you for humbling me!”

“You’re…welcome. But I have seen you before, on television.”

“Don’t I have the face for it?”

“…Yeah. You were, um, giving a press conference about the deputy mayor who died…”

The Mayor nodded solemnly. “That was a sad day for all of us. Allan was a good man, a hard worker. He had his faults, but don’t we all?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, Jade. So much happens here in Sunnydale, that you take for granted who you have now. Perhaps Allan’s passing is a blessing in disguise, making us come closer together.”

Jade gave an uncertain nod. “When you say, ‘so much happens here,’ you mean…”

The Mayor chuckled. “How long have you been in Sunnydale, Jade?”

“Uh… six months?”

“Then you know what ‘happens’ here, don’t you?”

“…Yes.”

“And you can’t be Faith’s girlfriend without dancing around the obvious!”

Jade looked at The Mayor, shocked. “How did—”

“Oh, Faith’s been singing your name up and down these floors, sweetheart. She can’t talk about you without breaking into a smile.”

Jade felt herself blush. “Actually, I was going to ask how you met, and how she ended up here.”

The Mayor sat back against his chair. “Well, after Allan’s death, my whole team panicked, convinced someone was coming to kill me by taking down my staff. Frankly, I found the whole debacle overblown. Trying to kill me through _Allan_? C’mon! But then last night, another one of my staff members disappeared. So, here I am thinking _Oh dear, this can’t be good_. And then, just as I thought it, I heard a knock at my door. Faith came by and said she could help me. She told me all about her life and her Slayer training, and now here’s me going _I hit the jackpot_! So, to make a long story short, I’ve got a Slayer bodyguard. Whatever tries to hurt me, she gives them the ol’ toss of the boot. And since you two are together, I have the pleasure of meeting you, and now here _we_ are!”

Jade smiled. “So, what happened to Faith’s apartment? Why did she move out?

“As we talked, she mentioned a few details about herself: her parents, her life in Boston, her early years as a Slayer, moving out to Sunnydale. Let’s just say it wasn’t a hard puzzle to put together. Not a chance would I let her live in that garbage dump anymore. Now she lives on the top floor of City Hall, the best makeshift penthouse I could produce. Having connections doesn’t hurt” he winked.

The sun beamed down through the window in The Mayor’s office. Just then, a cloud covered it, leaving the room in a shadow.

“Now,” said The Mayor, “I may have more conservative leanings in my politics, but you two have my full support with your relationship. Whatever makes Faith happy, I’m happy. I just adore that kid. Her jokes might be too colorful to my liking, but she still brings more life into my world than usual!” he laughed at his own joke. “And you, Jade, have made quite the first impression. I’m sure we’ll get along fine.”

“However,” he leaned forward, “it doesn’t matter what happened today. I am warning you right now, Ms. West, that if you ever hurt Faith, there will be dire consequences.”

“Understood.”

The Mayor laughed. “No, I don’t think you do. You don’t understand. I can unleash a fury of pain and torment that you can’t even begin to comprehend. If anything happens to Faith, so God help me if one strand of hair is torn off from her head because of you, I will make your life a living Hell.”

Jade thought about saying _It can’t be any more than it already is_ , but she decided against it.

“I promise I will never hurt her, sir” she gulped.

The cloud disappeared and the sun rays emerged back into the office.

“Well, okey-dokey!” The Mayor’s mood returned to being chipper. “I suppose we’ve chewed the rag long enough. Why don’t you head upstairs?”

Jade stood from her chair, blurted out a rushed “thank you” and sprinted out of the room.

When she made it to the last step, Jade knocked on the large slide door. It instantly opened with Faith standing on the other side. Before Jade could even open her mouth, Faith pulled her in by the collar. She closed the door and pushed Jade against the metal, attacking her lips. Jade melted into her kisses, wildly caressing Faith’s hair between her fingers. Once Faith’s tongue slid against her own, she pulled Faith closer into her and holstered her thigh onto Faith’s hip. The two lovers held themselves like this for a while, drinking in the other as if dying of thirst. It was Faith who broke the kiss, huffing against the side of Jade’s neck and her hands flat on the door holding herself up. Jade felt hypnotized, staring at Faith’s now glistening and puffy lips. After Faith caught her breath, her eyes slowly met up to meet Jade’s. A grin spread across her face. Jade followed with a smile of her own as the two stared at each other in silence. The silence turned into giggles.

“I…I don’t know what to say” Faith said.

Jade leaned against the door, beaming at Faith.

“I did before you so rudely interrupted me.”

“What was it?” Faith asked, stroking her thumb down Jade’s cheek.

Jade felt the heat of Faith’s touch and placed her hand on top of hers.

“Hi” said Jade, blushing at the silliness of it all.

Faith brought her face closer, the tips of their noses lightly rubbing together.

“Hi” she said, planting a chaste yet lingering kiss on Jade’s lips. Then her arm snaked around Jade’s shoulders and pulled her away from the door and into the penthouse.

And it indeed looked like a penthouse—a wide, open space with windows looking over the town. Blue curtains hung down from the high ceiling. Jade noticed the shelves of weapons and the punching bag next to it. Faith pushed her down to the bed, which was also blue, and pounced on top of her.

“What took you so long?” she asked Jade between kisses.

“Two words: The Mayor. He’s quite the chatterbox, including his dragged-out ‘scavenger hunt,’ which could have taken me five minutes to find if you just _fucking texted me_.”

Faith sighed and sat herself up on her elbows.

“Rich has his moments. He thought me texting you the actual directions would ‘ruin the magic.’”

“You two are on a first name basis, I see.”

“Slayer privilege baby.” Faith leaned back down, and Jade moaned into the kiss.

“I could get used to this” said Jade, running her hands across the bedsheets.

“I know, right? We have a DVD player now!”

“Not even Netflix?”

“J, it’s a step up. This is the height of Sunnydale luxury.”

Jade laughed. “So, we live like queens from now on.”

“Way ahead of you.”

Faith deepened her kiss as Jade’s fingers made their way into her back pockets. Both were so eager to consummate their love in Faith’s new bed. They managed to lose their shirts and Jade slid her hand under Faith’s bra strap when The Mayor opened the door.

“Fuck!” Faith screamed, scrambling for their shirts.

“Language, Faith!” said The Mayor, covering his eyes. “I’ve seemed to interrupt you girls at an inappropriate time. Faith, you need to be more careful. You know there’s other people inside this building.”

“Sorry” apologized Faith, looking guilty.

“You could’ve knocked” defended Jade. “It’s her room.”

Faith squeezed Jade’s hand tightly, her eyes saying _not now_.

The Mayor looked at Jade, with the same intensity as when he warned her about hurting Faith. But then he started to smile, his eyes never changing.

“That is true, Jade. I should have knocked before entering. So, I suppose were all at fault here. No harm, no foul.”

“D-did you need something, Rich?” asked Faith, fumbling with her shirt and too embarrassed to look at him.

“Well, I came up here so we could talk more about our game plan, with the demons and what not.”

“But Jade just got here.”

“My life and career are at stake, Faith. Isn’t that just a little more important? You have a responsibility of protecting people, don’t you?”

Faith nodded. She stood from her bed but bent down to meet Jade’s face.

“I’ll be back soon” Faith promised.

“Okay” said Jade. They shared a small kiss before Faith left the room.

“Now Jade,” said The Mayor, “I assume you’ll be joining us for dinner. Are you a fan of Beef Wellington?”

It was the most delicious dish she ever had. The rest of the night was beautiful too. The Mayor rented out the conference room for a candlelit dinner between the three of them. While he asked several questions about Jade’s life, she was more focused on the woman sitting across from her. Faith’s eyes glistened under the small fire, and Jade could physically feel herself becoming more smitten. They played footsie under the table, trying to be as cautious as possible, though The Mayor didn’t seem to notice.

“So, Jade,” he said, “I heard that you attend film school?”

“Performing arts school, but film school is the goal after graduation.”

“I see. I’m a fan of the classics myself. _Casablanca_ and _Citizen Kane_ , to name a few. Ooh, a classic movie night at City Hall! That sounds delightful, doesn’t it, Faith?”

“Yeah” said Faith, twirling her spaghetti.

“Any recommendations?” he asked Jade.

“I heard _On the Waterfront_ is pretty good.” Jade felt herself cringe as she opened her mouth. It was Beck’s favorite movie.

“Pretty good? It’s one of the best!” said The Mayor.

The rest of dinner went smoothly, and the three waited for dessert to arrive. Thanks to The Mayor’s authority, he could order a dozen warm chocolate chip cookies from any bakery in Sunnydale. As they waited for the delivery, The Mayor continued the conversation.

“So, how was your first night here, Jade?” he asked.

“It’s been…good, I guess.”

“Well, I’m not asking just to be a courteous host. I’m asking because I can’t wrap my head around the fact how many times you drive back and forth from Sunnydale to Los Angeles. That’s just madness! Think about the gas prices!”

“Believe me, sir, I have.”

The Mayor laughed, then he turned his attention towards Faith.

“Faith, have you asked Jade to move in with you before?”

Both girls almost choked on their milk.

“What?” they asked him.

“Oh, am I overstepping boundaries?” he responded.

“No,” said Faith, “but…why are you asking now?”

The Mayor folded his hands. “When I went upstairs to see you two and after that… _incident_ …I noticed how big Faith’s room is. Surely it can fit two people! And since you’ll be coming around here every day, I presume, why not cut out the middleman?”

Faith looked at Jade expectantly. Jade couldn’t think of anything to say. Move in with Faith? In Sunnydale City Hall? Sure, living with her mother the past few months have not been great, but did she want to give that up so readily?

“What about school?” Jade asked. “I’ll still be driving all the way back to L.A. every morning.”

“How about a limo?” suggested The Mayor.

“ _Really_?”

“Sure! I’ll have my driver pick you up and take you to school and back to Sunnydale anytime you want. You can leave your car in the parking lot. We,” he nodded to Faith, “want what’s best for you.”

Jade looked over to Faith. Their hands reached across the table to find themselves.

“What do you think?” Jade asked Faith.

“Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.” Faith squeezed Jade’s hand.

Jade turned back to The Mayor.

“Could you let me think about it?” she asked him.

“Of course,” he said. “How about this? You spend the night tonight, my driver picks both of you girls up and drives you to school, and when you come back, you can let me know then. Sound like a deal?”

Jade stared at The Mayor. Even as the light from the candles grew dimmer, his politician smile was just as bright as ever. Jade reached over and shook The Mayor’s hand.

“Deal” she said.

“Excellent!” The Mayor clapped his hands in excitement. “Why don’t we celebrate by turning the lights on already?”

The girls winced as the florescent lights filled the conference room with brightness.

“You know, ladies” said The Mayor, “there are quite a lot of unlicensed marriage certificates around here. Being an ordained minister myself, I thought we could—”

“Oh my god!” Faith interrupted, holding her head in her hands. Jade also felt her pain.

“Too soon?” The Mayor wheezed. “Alright, the cookies should be here by now. Anyone want a refill on milk? Oh, I’ll bring the whole pitcher just in case.”

After coming back into the conference room with a warm white box and the promised milk pitcher, and after each person had a chocolate chip cookie in their hand, The Mayor stood and held his glass up.

“I’d like to propose a toast.”

Jade and Faith both held their glasses up as well.

“A toast,” he continued, “to fresh faces. Being the mayor of a small town, you see so many of the same people pass you by. It’s quite a joy when you meet wonderful strangers. And that’s who I see before me—two wonderful strangers. The best part about strangers is that soon enough, they can become your friends, and eventually your family. So, Faith, Jade, welcome to the family.”

The next morning, Jade and Faith were in a limo heading down the highway to Hollywood Arts. The sky was still pink, something Jade accustomed herself to all these months, but Faith had yet to do. She tried staying awake as much as she could but ended up laying against Jade’s shoulder.

“Sorry, J” Faith yawned. “I wish I wasn’t so tired. This coffee from the waiting room isn’t doing shit.”

“I think The Mayor made us drive together as an apology for barging in yesterday.”

“Well, we can’t get our freak on with Pierre spying on us through the mirror.” Faith playfully flipped him off.

Jade laughed and kissed the top of Faith’s head.

“You seem more exhausted than usual” she pointed out.

“I am. Last night was insane.”

“What happened?”

“Uh…whole bunch of shit, believe me. It’s all confidential now since it involves The Mayor.”

“Really? That sucks. I miss hearing your crazy Slayer stories.”

“You like hearing me putting myself in danger?”

“Yeah, it’s so hot.”

Faith laughed and gave Jade a sleepy kiss.

“Have you thought about moving in at all?” she asked.

“I’m still thinking.”

“What’s the setback?”

“Well…if I’m being totally honest, I wasn’t a fan of the way The Mayor treated you.”

Faith sat up. “What do you mean?”

“Just…all that shit he gave you about not fucking in your room. It’s _your room_!”

“I mean…he was right downstairs.”

“It’s still your space. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Christ, you have all those weapons! _He_ should be afraid of _you_!”

“He gave me those weapons. Well, I confiscated them.”

“Confiscated?”

“Part of my job now is intercepting packages that have any dangerous or supernatural element to them… you know, whatever could harm him.” Faith yawned again. “Look, I love you, but I’m so damn tired. Could I just sleep on the way there, if that’s okay?”

“Okay. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

Jade didn’t notice the driver listening to their conversation.

Sure enough, the limo pulled up into the Hollywood Art’s parking lot. Jade nudged Faith awake, and Faith smiled sleepily at her. The driver opened Jade’s door, but she didn’t leave until she gave Faith a goodbye kiss. “See you later” they both said, and Jade got out of the limo.

As Jade fidgeted with her lock combo, the gang ran up to her, and Cat grabbed her by the arms.

“IS IT TRUE?” Cat yelled as she shook Jade.

“Cat, Jesus Christ!” Jade wormed her way out of Cat’s grip. “What are you talking about?”

“Brittany Weiss said she saw you come to school in a _limo_!” Cat exclaimed.

“So, is it true?” asked Andre.

Jade smirked. “Yeah, it’s true.”

The whole group gasped.

“What happened?” Cat yelled again.

“Did you book a huge movie?” asked Tori.

“Are you signed to a major studio?” asked Robbie.

“Are you dating a rich playboy?” asked Rex.

“Let’s just say that I have some political power now” said Jade, coyly. Robbie gave a low whistle.

“So, you’re dating a rich _politician_?” asked Rex.

“Is that who you were kissing?” asked Cat.

The group froze, including Jade.

“How did you know that?” she asked.

“Brittany also said she saw you kissing someone inside the limo, but she couldn’t tell who it was because of the tinted windows” Cat explained.

“So, you _are_ seeing someone else?” asked Beck.

Jade couldn’t feel her feet. Her mouth felt dry. The only person she could look at was Tori, the only person who knew her secret. Tori looked just as scared as she was.

By fucking luck, Jade’s phone started ringing. She felt a sigh of relief.

“Have to take this” she said, walking far away from the group as possible.

She looked down at her phone to see who was calling. It was a phone number she did not recognize, but the location said _Sunnydale_. Jade figured it was The Mayor calling, asking if she made it to school safely.

“This is Jade speaking” she answered in the most professional way she could think of.

“Jade?”

It was not The Mayor, but a woman’s voice that sounded oddly familiar.

“Yeah?” said Jade.

“Jade, it’s Buffy.”

Jade’s heart lodged into her throat. She ran down the hall into the janitor’s closet, her safe space in school.

“How did you get this number?”

“That’s not important right now.”

“The fuck—”

“Jade, are you still seeing Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“You need to listen to me very carefully. You are in great danger. You need to stay away from Faith.”

The phone went silent.

“Fuck you!” screamed Jade.

“Excuse me?”

“What the hell kind of smear campaign are you running against my girlfriend?”

“Wait, she’s your _girlfriend_?”

“I’m sorry you’re jealous or whatever because she’s not working with you anymore, but don’t take it out on me!”

“Jade, I’m trying to warn you—”

“About what? That she’s going to get me drunk and we’re going to highjack a police car or something?”

“What are you talking about?”

“That’s why she’s not Slaying with you anymore because you can’t take your job seriously.”

“Dude take that salt off the chip on your shoulder. Faith and I have patrolled every night since then.”

Jade’s anger halted. She swallowed hard.

“That’s…that’s not what she told me.”

“From what I’m gathering, Faith isn’t telling you a lot of things.”

“What…what do you mean?”

“That night, with the drinking and the police. Is that what you’re referring to?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Jade, a lot more happened after that.”

She could feel the tears well up behind her eyes.

“What…what…”

“The body. Of the deputy mayor. In the lake. The police found it the morning after.”

Jade didn’t answer Buffy. She couldn’t force herself to talk.

“Did you know that something punctured his heart?”

“It…it was a demon…right?” Jade knew her words didn’t sound true anymore, but she wasn’t prepared for the final blow.

“Jade. Faith killed him.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my FIRST FANFIC EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please leave your comments down below. I'm so thrilled to be sharing my work with this community!


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